Flower Fresh

[GlassPoodle]

I’ve been reading Thich Nhat Hanh and his flower fresh meditation practice reminded me of something.

My son planted a tiny plant into a soup can, glued popsicle sticks to the outside, and put finger paint for decoration. It was a craft that his class made for Mother’s Day. I put it on the windowsill in my kitchen. No matter how much I neglected it, it didn’t die. I’d forget to open the blinds to give it sunlight. I’d forget to give it water to drink. Sometimes I would notice how droopy it was looking and give it some attention. It survived this way for months.

One day I noticed how tall and green it was getting, despite my best efforts to thwart its survival. I decided it deserved a proper pot and some nice soil. So, I moved him to his new home. The plant was looking worse than ever! I couldn’t believe it! I put it out on the porch for fresh air and sunshine. I didn’t think it was going to survive the transplant. It was pretty horizontal for days and then weeks. I kept trying to provide some support by leaning it against the wood of the porch. It stayed green even though it spent some time with its leaves looking pretty shriveled. Well, today I noticed a small white flower on the very top!

I imagine myself as this flower. I’m trying to grow but I’m not getting enough care. I’m trying to get better but I’m not getting enough sunshine. I’m not drinking enough water. I’m not patient with myself and sometimes it’s all I can do to just lie flat. There are many days that I rely on the support of my husband. Then there are times that I think I’m not going to survive.

Sometimes I make some progress and I start feeling better. I try to add more water and sunshine to my life. I try to eat better and take supplements to boost my mental health. Just like the plant going into the new pot, it took a few weeks to really begin to bloom. I need to give my changes some time to start working. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing progress and moving backwards but I really just need to continue to be patient and kind to myself to see the positive results.

[GlassPoodle]

I hope that I will make more time to be in nature. To be in the sun. There is a certain hope you can feel when your skin is being warmed by the sun. I miss that feeling.

[Pagesofwords]

Thank you for telling the story of the struggling plant and relating it to your depression. You are right—you are the flower! Keep growing and struggling because you are strong and beautiful! There is a fitting song for this from my years in preschool work. Some of the lyrics go: “Each of us is a flower growing in life’s garden...each of us is a flower, we need the sun and rain.” There are actions to the song—so cute to watch the children sing and “grow”—maybe this is on YouTube. If so, it’s my perfect illustration of your struggling flower. Best wishes.