Day 3

[Kat63]

I’m starting the third day of a four-day weekend with anxiety.

Friday went well, and yesterday was decent. In the world around me, that is. Inside me, the anxiety is still making me feel bad. I’ve been feeling anxious since Thursday night.

Ativan is there if I need it. (sigh) I’m beginning to be afraid that I’ll never feel sane and healthy again. That’s ridiculous, because I had almost two weeks of feeling pretty good before the anxiety came back. But it did come back, and now I’m scared it will never go away again.

Later:

I ended up taking an Ativan. D—- it. I’m trying to avoid that. At least I hadn’t had one since Thursday.

[Agora1]

That's okay Kat63, sometimes we feel the need to reach out for

medication. It's not a defeat. The next time you have a respite from

anxiety, start looking for other methods that you might be able to

use during high stress times. Whatever may work for you. The thing is

that we need to practice other methods of relaxation every day and not

waiting until we feel bad. Once our brain learns to accept this alternative

to relaxation, it might be easier for you to not reach for Ativan first but use

your alternative method and see if that doesn't help. I think you will be

surprised in the results. I hope the rest of this holiday weekend goes well

for you. xx

[Kat63 in reply to Agora1]

I’ve been trying five minutes of meditation every day for about two weeks. I was using “Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics” as a guide. Maybe I haven’t been doing it long enough for it to make a difference yet? And I do have trouble maintaining the habit on the weekends. But I’m trying to push myself to keep at it.

I also pray a lot, and I come here; and I spend a lot of time on the website of a 12-Step program I’m in.

I just had a meds check, and was told that it’s better not to use the Ativan every day. So far, I haven’t used it two days in a row.