My now life vs. My life I miss so much!

[Elsmum1980]

I started getting sick a little over 4 years ago. I ended up having to quit my job once my doctor ordered me to quit. At first I just needed to slow down, which is why I has to quit my good paying job with benefits and having a union having my back to working at Home Depot part time that was actually harder on me, than my full time job. But it's ok I'm now on disability and have never felt so helpless and lonely in my life. I have brain 24 hours a day 7 days along. I have never felt so lost!

[Hidden]

Do you not have things to do at all?

[Elsmum1980 in reply to Hidden]

I try to do as much as I can with my health issues (immune disorders). Sometimes I find myself not able to get up no matter how much I want to. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for a long long time, but it got worse after I was my 3rd diagnosis. Lets go back to the first one. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in November 2013. I was always in pain and all the rest they did came up negative for every other thing that is not Fibro knowing they have no test to prove positive for fibro, so that's was the answer. I was finally happy knowing what I had so I wasn't looked at like I'm crazy or that I am just looking for pain pills. So I tried every non narcotic they threw at me. If i ever got narcs it would only be for a nonfibro reason. I will never understand why some Drs are so against it while other do what they can to help their patients and and treat the pain not just the diagnosis and the junk pills that they believe will truly help. It took 4 Drs later till I found the right Dr for me. Once I found him things have gotten better and worse all at the same time. We found out what all is wrong with me. I had Sarcoidosis in my lungs which after a year went into remission, but then I was diagnosed with MS and NeuroSarcoid. Its been all down hill since. Horrific pain, brain dead half the time. From all 3. Hot flashes like I'm going thru menopause. Not to mention not have hardly having any friends. Everything gets canceled or they just don't have the time for me anymore.

[Hidden]

I can sympathize with you. It is soul crushing when you are disabled. It’s like society has set you aside and you don’t fit in. It’s human nature I guess. The world can be a cruel place at times.