help wanted

[Tatexo]

Hi I’m Alisha, I’m 19 and I’ve ruined every romantic relationship I’ve ever been in due to my anxiety and depression, I’m scared that if I don’t get better I’ll loose him, if anyone can relate or just wants to talk please do

[Hidden]

maybe you need to address the anxiety and depression so you can fulfill your romantic goals?

[Tatexo in reply to Hidden]

Thats what I’ve been trying to do, it’s also been really difficult because in my past relationship I was abused and cheated on and now my current boyfriend goes to school and I only see him on weekends and I resent him for that.. I know I want to trust him and stop behaving like this but I don’t know how

[Hidden in reply to Tatexo]

It sounds like you been through a lot. Are you getting any treatment? You resent him for going to school or that you wish you were in school?

[Tatexo in reply to Hidden]

I was but my parents pulled me out and I’m not sure how to seek treatment, I’m in school and I’m also transferring to his school (for other reasons besides him). I think I really just resent him leaving and I feel like I have to make up for lost time since we’re away more than we’re together

[Hidden in reply to Tatexo]

You should check and see if your school has any mental health outreach. They might be able to provide you information on ways to get treatment. I think you are projecting your personal issues onto your relationship. If you address those your romantic relationship will be stronger and more satisfying.

[Tatexo in reply to Hidden]

you’re right! and I know you’re right, but this is the first time that I’ve actually cared about the relationship enough to want to receive help

[Hidden in reply to Tatexo]

I am assuming you are in college? Most colleges offer some form of mental health outreach. You are doing the right thing.

[Tatexo in reply to Hidden]

yeah the school I go to does, the issue with that is that I’m a transfer student and the school is also an hour away

[Marshall64]

Is your boyfriend aware of your issues? If so, is he supportive?

[Tatexo in reply to Marshall64]

yes he’s aware and yes he’s supportive, but he also knows that I’m not getting help and my mental health is affecting his mental health

[Marshall64 in reply to Tatexo]

Yeah, you need to do take care of yourself first. The fact that he is supportive is great and can be a motivator for you. Here-I-Am had good advice regarding taking advantage of college resources.

[Tatexo in reply to Marshall64]

yeah, being completely honest he’s away right now and I just spoke to him for like an hour and he told me he thought about breaking up with me, I feel like he’s giving up on me and part of me is considering breaking up with him so it’s easier for him

[Tatexo in reply to Tatexo]

I have a really bad feeling and I can feel myself starting to get angry at him

[Tatexo in reply to Tatexo]

part of me feels like I should break up with him so I won’t hurt him anymore

[Marshall64 in reply to Tatexo]

Regardless of the outcome of your relationship, you still need to take care of yourself. You are young and will have plenty of opportunities with other men if your current situation falls apart.

I'm going through something similar except I'm a male, I'm older, and I don't have a partner. 😊 But I do want to start dating again but I need to get out of this current bout of depression and lack of motivation. Once I'm in a better place, then i will peruse the scary world of dating. I just feel like I have emotional baggage from depression and isolation. Being social again is giving me some anxiety.

Good luck with your situation. Keep pressing on with small positive steps.

[Tatexo in reply to Marshall64]

thank you, you too

[dee_bells in reply to Tatexo]

I agree with everyone else. Take care of you. Because I have horrible insurance, I'm able to get therapy and medication through organizations in my area. Maybe you can find organizations in your city and state. Research their websites and good luck!

[Tatexo in reply to dee_bells]

thank you!

[M00nchild]

Literally just happened to me