I'm Matter, but I don't matter...

[M_X_D]

Listening to music more and more lately and this line showed up in a pretty depressing song.

But when I heard it I went back and listened a hundred times, i even abbreviated it and stuck it on my desk on a post it note "IMBIDM"

I started taking my meds less and less and I've gonna off the hinges as of late. I can barely work these days but I have to destroy myself to try to push through the anxiety and depression to bring home the paychecks week in and week out.

My wife tries to understand me but I just can't open back up. I'm shutting down.

[davis19792000]

But you do matter! You matter to so many people. I don't know for sure but I wonder if you feel like giving up because you feel like no one understands how deep and painful living with this illness really is. And just getting through the next second of every minute just drags on and you wonder will it ever get better. You are too tired to fight anymore. You wonder, Will i ever be able to get my head above water? Maybe it feels like you can't get help because your family depends on you to be strong and be the provider. All I know is when i read your post it broke my heart. You do matter!!! You are not alone and you do matter.

[CazO46]

Hi, I wonder if reducing your medication is making you feel low? You might already be getting support from a Dr but if not it would be a good idea as it can be hard to come off them unsupported.

We do matter, very much but I guess it can be easy to live inside our own heads and forget our bigger place in the world that we share and connect with so many others. Take care