If we all looked after the highest good of one another... Would we continue to concern ourselves with our own needs being met?

[c-l-g]

Question for a Saturday...

[gerg]

In order to achieve the highest good for others, we must first concern ourselves that our needs are completely met.

This is the paradox of the concepts of selfish and selfless.

If I concern myself primarily with the good of others, am I selfless? It depends on the perspective of the one(s) making the determination.

If a soldier dives on a grenade and saves the lives of the other soldiers, he is a hero and selfless. His ten year old son is now without a father, was it not selfish to not have considered his son before becoming a hero?

The soldier/father did the right thing either way and there lies the paradox, though I think he left a lot of needs unmet.

[c-l-g in reply to gerg]

Gonna chew on this response for awhile...Good stuff!!!

[gerg in reply to c-l-g]

Oh boy, hang on tight for this ride. The concepts here are amazingly helpful for determining the correct reason for doing what needs to be done to minimize emotional distress. It has helped me find a path that reduces or eliminates my anxiety.

[c-l-g in reply to gerg]

hangin on...so far not too much... : D

[gerg in reply to c-l-g]

"Selflessness is an interesting word that implicates a disregard of the self; however, most of the time, selflessness feels good and brings about internal relief and peace of mind, which indicates that the self is very vividly involved in the act of selflessness."

So to feel good or live in a better world is serving ourselves. Others benefit greatly, but the underlying purpose is self-serving. This is not a bad thing, to the contrary it's exactly as it is meant to be. Altruism is selfish.

"One day, president Lincoln was riding on his horse and carriage over a

bridge. Shortly after crossing the bridge, the president summoned his chauffeur

to turnaround and head back for the bridge. Upon arrival, the president got out

of his carriage, rolled up his pants, waded in the water, and brought a few piglets,

which were about to be carried away by the stream’s strong current, safely back

to the side of the creek, where their mother was grunting helplessly. Upon arrival

at the White House, the chauffeur complimented the president for his altruistic

deed, to which Lincoln stated that he did not save the piglets for selfless reasons

but rather for very selfish ones: He knew that he would not be able to sleep at

night, once he had witnessed the imminent disaster for the little piglets, while

he could have easily done something about it. In Lincoln’s opinion, saving the

piglets was a selfish act, even though he could not foresee any immediate or

even future gain for himself."

[fauxartist]

I think there are givers and takers, leaders and followers...And I believe in any good relationship there is a balance. Good friends listen, and give advice if asked, or if they see you are in crisis, they are there for you. Sadly though, most people in general are more caught up these days living a virtual life behind either a cell phone or laptop screen and forget about social graces. or worse, don't know any.

On every city street I see a sea of heads buried into their cell screens shielded from interaction with the virtual world, I even see toddlers with cell phones to play with in their strollers. If no one looks up to see anyones face anymore....where are we headed. I fear the indifference and the insensitivity of an anonymous virtual world afforded to the masses is a glib glimpse of our social future.

This site is anonymous....nameless but for our avatars and secured web pages, we learn deeply personal things about each other that most of us would otherwise never tell a soul face to face except in the therapists office. So we are safe...something that is in slim commodity these days....a port in a storm of the chaos of people with less time, more responsibility, and less of themselves left over to give anyone, not even for their own children sometimes during these many exhausting days.

I'm grateful for this place...it's unique...complete strangers showing kindness, caring, non-judgemental compassion....who know's ....maybe it will catch on in the real world.

[c-l-g in reply to fauxartist]

You have a beautiful

soul..

look

forward to reading more of your ponderings...thoughts = }

[fauxartist in reply to c-l-g]

thank you.....