To commit or not? Time to try something different

[Frgtn5651]

My depression has been really bad for a long time now. I was first diagnosed about 30 years ago, have been to too many doctors to count and tried a plethora of meds.

I'm starting to think of hospitalizing myself. I want to see if my various diagnosis' over the years are still accurate, if my meds are right for me (probably not) and deal with some major issues on the outside of my head instead of the inside.

I'm unemployed with very few options, in a horrible marriage and past trauma is a daily battle. Sometimes I go days without taking a shower, brushing my teeth, very little eating or sleeping, etc.

Does anyone have any first hand experience about hospitalization? How do you find one, what can I expect, etc. The more information the better.

Thank you all!!!

[HearYou]

Hummmm. You are looking for the impossible. You're tired of the depression, your bad marriage, unemployment. Being cared for and finding a "cure" for that depression in the protective walls of a hospital sounds very good to you. But don' think that is going to happen. Do not know in which country you live and what type of health care plans or insurance you have, or if you have any. Hospitals are not free. Something or someone has to pay for them.

Lets start with the basics. Depression can nail you down mentally to just sit in a chair and do nothing. How about cleaning yourself up and putting on washed clothing first.

Don't know why you have had so many different doctors, so many different meds and so many different diagnoses, I don't think anyone has discovered or created anything different for depression in the last few years. So don't think over worked doctors in an underfunded mental health facility will hold any pleasant surprises for you.

There are some partial day outpatient programs in some part of the world.

How about you writing some more about your situation so members of this venue have more information that may be of help regarding your request? I think that is the second step rhat could be helpful after you take step one of cleaning yourself up and putting on washed clothing, ok? One step at a time.

We'll be here waiting for your next post with more information, or your reply in this one. There is help, but your information is needed for members to know what it is. OK? OK.

[Frgtn5651 in reply to HearYou]

I'm sure your comments were meant to help but they certainly did not.

I fail to see how the question I asked can be better answered if you know what country I live in, or if I have insurance or not.

You said "Being cared for and finding a "cure" for that depression in the protective walls of a hospital sounds very good to you. But don' think that is going to happen." I am well aware that there is no cure and that this disease is only manageable. I'm not looking for "protective walls" - I'm looking for answers. After 30 years, I'm a little fed up, don't ya think?

As far as "cleaning myself up and putting on washed clothing" - if I could, don't you think I would? No one wants to live with this disease and as I said, I've been dealing with it for over 30 years. Hence my comment about many doctors and meds. I don't go to multiple doctors or take multiple meds - only 1 at a time - but I've never found a doctor or med that truly helped. I know there is no magic pill, I just don't want to feel this bad any more.

I'm looking for answers, more understanding of what better ways I can handle my "episodes" when they occur and hopefully a little empathy and compassion from people on this site.

Your comments were neither - empathetic or compassionate. They were hurtful. I'm not a child, I'm not crazy, I'm not looking for an easy way - this is for life (literally) and I know that! Do you?

[HearYou in reply to Frgtn5651]

My intentions were not to be hurtful . Why in the world would I or anyone else want to hurt you? You sounded like you were "bottoming out" and I was concerned. It meant looking at the basics and reality of hospital care. I understand you are tired of the depression, I am too. But where you live does matter as the UK has health coverage system that might be able to get you an admission to a hospital. In the US, it's an entirely different story,

You are able to concentrate and reach out using a computer or mobile device, but you are upset with me when I suggested you shower and wear washed clothing....But you appear angry with me because you say you would if you were able.

Personal hygiene is a first step process in most mental health programs and hospital stays.

So again, my intentions were good, I have worked in mental health hospitals mental wards and really don't think you would really get what you're looking for there.

I sincerely hope you receive another reply which you feel is appropriate and doesn't hurt you. Sometimes the reality of what one wants is not what one needs, and that can hurt.

You asked for information on hospitalization experience and that any info would be welcomed. So I tried to provide it straightforward. If you were just wanting "empathy or compassion", I would have just provided that instead.