Many people look at me and think that I have it all together. They think the smile on my face means I'm happy. Truth is behind that smile are tons of stories and pains that hide. I smile to cover up the pain, you see I hold it all in because if I told anyone they would think that I am insane.
But the insanity that I have is totally different from what they would be thinking. The type of insanity I'm talking about is the hurt of my life, the insecurities that lay inside. The millions of words I hide to describe the severity of what my true emotions are. Only if they knew what lays behind that perfect smile of mine.
The crimes I commit inside of my head to those who have hurt me. The lies I tell myself to feel some what of self-worth. The millions of voices in my head, the depression that i cover up with a smile on my face. Because no one could ever began to imagine the stories and images that are inside of my head. Nor the scars that have been made in the inside of my private by my rapers.
The many time I've cried at night telling myself that maybe everything would be alright the next time. But it never happened. And after so many nights of telling myself this. I began to believe that eventually there would never be a next time. Because the pain I was feeling again and again, made me feel as if time was running out fast.
So, I'm here to tell you that with this smile, you'll never want to imagine what hurt and stories lay ahead.