Weaning off Citalopram

[YasmineKD]

Hi everyone,

Almost a year and a half ago, I hit a bout of depression. It took me a while to recognise it as I've always been a happy-go-lucky and high functioning person. In fact, it was my therapist who diagnosed me with it. I went to the therapist as I couldn't understand why I was feeling the way I was, why I felt numb most of the time and why I either couldn't sleep or slept hard for hours, etc.

Anyway, so the doctor prescribed me 20mg of citalopram, which seemed to help. I had that for the first year. After that year I felt that I was starting to feel better again. I ask the doctor if that is purely me or is that the tablets (as obviously that's what they're designed to do). She said that it would be hard to know until I came off them, but she stated it would be best to SLOWLY come off them. So 3 months ago, a started taking one every two days for two months, then last month I moved it to one every three days. I'm currently in my second month of that one. I'm hoping to me citalopram free in the next couple of weeks.

But here's my question -

How can one tell if they are truly ready to come off the anti depressants?

The reason I ask is because the past couple of weeks I have been feeling like my depression is kicking back in. I cry for know reason, I get very irritable very quickly, and I've not been feeling very social. I've cancelled two evenings out with friends in the space of one week because I just wasn't feeling up to it. I feel like I don't wanna go anywhere, don't wanna do anything. And that's not good considering I am self employed and have a business to run!

Could it be I'm feeling like this again because I'm slowly depriving my brain of the chemicals it's had for the past year and a half? Am I not coping without it? OR, could it be I'm feeling all over the place because the chemicals in my brain are imbalanced due to the weaning, and might rebalance eventually? As if my brain is restabilising, and that's the affect I'm feeling?

Any thoughts from anyone would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks

Yasmine

[Kobojunkie]

last august I weaned myself off my meds because I believed I was fine. Over the next couple of months, I convinced myself I was happy and doing great but I was really blind to the signs of the depression creeping back in. Eventually I started having suicidal ideations, bouts of sorrow filled tear sessions for no reason, which then became a regular occurence. I had not noticed that anxiety and panic attacks had also creeped back in until one more when i woke up in where terror. I cried and suddenly realized that my mind was trying to convince me to throw myself out the window. That was when i realized i had been depressed all this while and had chosen to ignore the obvious symptoms just so i could continue to believe that i was alright. I checked myself into the ER and spent the next week in a mental facility and am now back on my meds. 😊

[YasmineKD in reply to Kobojunkie]

Hi Kobojunkie,

Sorry to hear you had such a bad time with your depression. It affects many people in many different ways.

Fortunately I haven't had thoughts of suicide, but someone who is very close to me had suffered with that themselves for years so I've seen for myself firsthand how living like this can affect a person, but all the while still not understanding what it actually feels like. If that made sense.

For me, I get emotional, feeling no incentive or motivation to do anything, even though I'd like nothing but. It's very conflicting.

As I said, I feel it coming back but I don't know if that is the depression itself or just a chemical imbalance in my brain whilst weaning off the meds. I guess the only way I can know for sure is by seeing how I am a few months after being free of the meds.

It sucks because up until about 3-4 years ago I was a fully functioning person, or at least as fully functioning as I needed to be.

I get anxious about a lot of things but for the most part I can live with that, it doesn't rule my life. But the depression is something else. I can go from being really happy to being miserable in a fraction of the time. Other times I feel numb, very despondent. I don't like it at all.

[Kobojunkie in reply to YasmineKD]

you are already reporting symptoms of depression why wait 3 to 4 more months before you go back? The lack of motivation, and depression is a result of a chemical imbalance.

I told you of my experience so you don't feel you need to wait until it gets worse before you go do something about what you already are feeling. You should check with your doctor to make sure that what you are feeling is what should be normally expected is what I am saying.

in my case, I didn't consult my doctor during the process and felt I was happy and content even though I was doing nothing and began spending time indoors a lot more than usual. And that was where I made the mistake. The doctor could have helped me catch the signs earlier.

[YasmineKD in reply to Kobojunkie]

Thank you, that's good advice.

I will make an appointment with my doctor and go from there. It's getting to the point I feel like I might need to visit my therapist again too. I made good progress last time, and people told me they had seen a good change in me. But maybe I am more depressed that I realise. That's one of the things my therapist told me, but I didn't really let it penetrate until know. I suppose I was in denial. It's taken me a long journey so far. I feel I still have a long way to go...