Ashamed.

[LessThanRich]

Before my diagnosis I was ashamed of my handicaps. My body was literally falling apart with no explanation. I progressively became more of a cripple over 7 years. People had to do stuff for me and eventually I had to close my bar/restaurant. This left me crushed, not only had I lost my legs, but also my business, my job, my social life and home.

Since being diagnosed 2 years after this (15 months ago), I was devastated at first. But I got to a level of acceptance that, that's how it is now and its not gonna get better, if anything its gonna get worse.

The moment I realised this put me on a new plateau of life. Yeh I have a horrible disease with horrible symptoms. But you can make allowances for them and still get out there. For a long time I went nowhere and still to this day going out isn;t easy. But at least its possible now and is something I do/enjoy. I strived for a normal life and it has taken literally years to get to where I am, but I can honestly say I have achieved almost 100% independence. I hope I suffer a minimum and I got it all under control. The toilet is no longer an issue for me. Taking a shower is pretty dangerous, but I have found ways to manage safely. I could drive all day with hand controls in my car, using my feet was just dangerous. My ego took a smashing over wheelchairs, catheters, being pushed and all sorts. But I made my peace with everything and now its all just part of life, and I'm ok with that