Three years on from diagnosis and nearly three year of no sexual function. A big loss between my wife and I thought we don’t really talk about it. My GP prescribes viagra but without the desire, little effect. Also given a pump but something makes me resistant to try it.
Having said all this I have woken with a reasonable nocturnal erection a few times lately. Instead of celebrating I am concerned that my treatment (Degaralix & Enzalutamide) might be loosing its effect. The past couple of oncology reviews have seen my PSA rising though the oncologist isn’t concerned.
A bit of a quandary.
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FortyWinks
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* If nothing else, start using the pump (daily if possible) to keep the blood flowing. This is important to keep your member healthy now that nighttime erections are less often.
* You can still have sex without an erection.
* Ask your GP about daily Cilais. It worked better for me than Viagra.
* Injections (Invicorp/Bimix/Trimix) can work wonders even without libido.
I agree with above, Injections didn't work for me but the pump does. Use it daily or maybe five days a week. It took me a few months to get the maximum effect but it's good. Take a daily Cialis. I was a bit embarrassed at first but my wife does really enjoy it. So do I!
Don't sweat the nocturnal erections, CELEBRATE them. They will help maintain your erectile tissues.
As I understand it, the loss of libido does not mean the loss of erections. My testosterone and PSA are at non-detect levels, and I have a stiffy every day.
In my case my Uro had told me that I would lose my ability to have an erection, so when my libido decreased, I stopped trying. Then, my wife and I started cuddling naked every day and voila! My little guy started responding. I still don't have my normal libido (my fantasy life misses it greatly), but my wife and I have rekindled our love relationship and that has sparked a fantastic sexual resurgence.
As Mike said, you don't need intercourse to have great sex, but when you can, DO! My experience has been that rekindling our sex life has enriched both our lives, and the more sexual play we engage in, the more my interest increases.
I would suggest trying Tri-mix for ED. Works even without libido. Additionally I have had what appears as functional nocturnal erections even with PSA of <.05. I do take 25 mg viagra each night to maintain penile blood flow.
For many, Lupron is a sex killer: little if any desire - and, no, libido is not all in one's mind - the drug lowers T. Low T = little or no desire for most, plus many other nasty side effects. To reiterate what others have suggested: ED meds, watch porn, use a pump, masturbate (even though you have little interest. Got to keep the blood flowing), and be open with your wife/partner about all; make it fun instead of a tense situation and pressure to perform. It's an uphill climb particularly with long term use of the T killers.
For us, it's been a "journey of rediscovery" of sorts. . .playing with each other, like we're 17 again, not 70! Starting over, with all the passion (?) and excitement we sort of remember from days gone by. Different strokes for different folks, they say. Start from the beginning and see where it takes ya! Baby steps, but you have to talk about it, in whatever way feels comfortable. If the love is there, the rest will come organically. 😉
Awesome that you and the DancingQueen have rediscovered your passion. Your story sounds a lot like ours. The rediscovery of my love for my wife and the pleasure we find with each other has revitalized us both. Happy for you two
If you can listen to the recent podcast on the effects of ADT. Amongst them is a significant impact on sexual function. The podcast discusses this, but does not go into the detail that is needed. Most men have no idea what’s going to happen to them when they start on hormone therapy. Listen to this podcast and if you want to visit my site as I’ve written extensively about sexual function and ADT use with its impact.
…you will have to contemplate that with your disease profile , long-term use of hormone therapy could be in your cards. Also, that at some point, you may need to choose either Surgery or Radiation. When you combine all these things together, the impact on your penile tissue is significant. It’s likely that your ability to have natural erections may forever be forestalled. I did not know a lot of this when I started my treatment and neither did I understand that a lot of the damage that is done to Erectile function during the hormone treatment and especially after surgery or radiation is permanent. You can’t back up.
So at some point you may want to consider a penile implant if you want to retain any size that you recognize. Again, you may know all of this. But from what I read over 80% of men are not told about many of the impacts of hormone therapy especially on sexual function. If that’s important to you focus on that now because options later will not be available. All the best. Rick.
Next time "Peter" wakes you up take that little object on you nightstand (we call it a cellphone, you guys call it a mobile phone) and take pictures (photos) of "Peter". Show them to the wife (and if need be to your relatives, friends and neighbors..... opps don't forget the Bobby on the street corner). Like most women, the Mrs. will take that opportunity to attack you (so be prepared).... Remember, keep smiling when it's not the opportune time to.
p.s. I replaced the lack of my sex life by posting here.......
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ED no more
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