Has anyone found a way to get any semblance of their libido back while on Lupron?
Libido: Has anyone found a way to get... - Advanced Prostate...
Libido
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Ewhite99
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Yes, and I'll tell it to you straight, without using euphemisms.
Set aside the fact that you have no interest in sex. Set aside the fact that you are not aroused. Set aside the fact that you feel about as much sexual sensation in your penis as you do in your thumb or big toe. Set all that aside and concentrate entirely on your wife (or whoever your partner is.)
Do what she (or he if that's your inclination) likes best. Be attentive. Be affectionate. Perform oral sex. Do your best to bring your partner to an orgasm. What I think you will find, despite all of your expectations, is that her arousal will arouse you too. I think there's a good chance that, after she reaches her orgasm you'll be so aroused that you will be able to have sex in the normal and perfectly satisfying way. It will seem like a miracle.
This requires effort on your part, and after you succeed, you'll go back to the Lupron doze. The next time you try it will be the same all over again. You'll feel nothing. You'll have no interest. You'll think, "Eh, I'd rather watch TV." Again, it will take an effort to get off your duff and make love to your wife. However, I think there's a fine chance that the miracle will occur again - and again and again. It worked for me and my wife was very pleased. Yours may be too.
I have read recently that a little viagra might help too, even on the days when you're not planning to have sex, to keep some blood flow going and prevent the penis from suffering atrophe. I didn't try that and can't say whether it helps. It seems a little counter-intuitive but I thought I should mention it.
Best of luck.
Alan
That sounds like too much work. Just kidding :). Awesome response. It had crossed my mind in the past that I just need to make the effort but never seem to get around to it. Thanks for the great suggestion and your tremendous way with words!
Well, that's probably good advice for some of us castrated guys despite being perhaps "too much information", but another approach that works for me and my dead wiener is just to accept that my glory days of rampant sex with women are over....it was fun while it lasted.....(about 2 minutes each time, like AL BUNDY from the 1990's TV show MARRIED WITH CHILDREN.....)
the "realistic" attitude when you've been "castrated"...and there are other names for it...but it's CASTRATION. I have my orgasms in my mouth...as I still LOVE food. L O V E food. **I actually like the idea of being a eunuch...inspite of the fact my voice didn't get higher (or better~~as I was hoping)...I still sing (with my dog, Sparky, and he doesn't mind..he even joins in)....and I enjoy every moment that I am not in any pain...or too weak to walk. Sex...bah humbug. Especially if it requires "trying"...there is just something wrong with that picture (for me). Gardening, cooking...walking...probably better for one than sex, anyway. I'll take those things.
In my case, my wife and I met in 1962 and married in 1968. We've been together almost for our whole lives. She means the world to me and even if I had no interest in sex myself I would have an interest in, and commitment to, satisfying her.
So I started out trying to have sex solely for her sake. But it turned out that (as often happens when you set out to do something for someone else) it worked surprisingly well for me too.
If you're on ADT and don't have someone you're in love with, pursuing sex may not be worth anything. But if you are in love with someone, then I think it's a different story.
Alan
Thanks,
I just re-read your profile. I (too) was diagnosed at 57...had treatment (external radiation) but, now, at 60 (earlier this year) was diagnosed with Stage 4. I think that makes the difference. If I could consider myself "cured"...some of the things that seem so unimportant and "trivial" might become of interest to me again. I only feel like I am trying to dodge a shot gun that is aimed up my throat...with a trigger happy person holding the trigger....so trying to "make my penis" a part of my life...nah. Lupron has thrown me for a "loop"... And if my partner of 40 years...or anyone, for that matter, wanted ME to be interested in "sex" for them...I'd dismiss them from my life. I feel I have "bigger fish" to fry. And I must say...it's great that you've stayed in the group offering advice....I'd think one would want to "forget" prostate cancer...if that could have the feeling of what you said..."cure". Right now...I'm concentrating on "hugs" and smooches from my partner, a few friends...AND, most importantly...my puppy ! ! ! ~~John
p.s. I only wish I had NOT stayed on top of my prostate...I've been seeing a urologist for almost a decade...only to have them screw around for too long...and have me end up here. If I had gone to the urologist for the first time at 57...I'd feel better about "who to blame" for my situation.(it would be me) It's not easy for me to feel good about my diagnosis....
I know a guy whose wife was not satisfied with oral sex..I bought him a 12 inch vibrating strap on and his wife can't get enough...says way better than the previous 7 inches
Gus
in reply to gusgold
Make, model and retailer? 
in reply to AlanMeyer
Cunnilingus? Those were the days my friend, I thought they'd never end, jeez, those were the days. For those who never did "it", your lady missed out, bigly.
My wife considers my lack of interest in sex as time off for good behavior. She is a few years older than I am.
There are indeed alternative strategies for sexual recovery for patients on drugs like Lupron that are consistent with the advice given above. These strategies are covered in a a couple of papers that I published in the last year. Here are the citations and the abstracts can be pulled up off the internet:
Wassersug RJ. 2016 Maintaining intimacy for prostate cancer patients on androgen deprivation therapy. Curr Opin Support Palliat Care. 2016 10(1):55-65.
Wassersug RJ & E Wibowo 2017 Non-pharmacological and non-surgical strategies to promote sexual recovery for men with erectile dysfunction. Trans. Androl. Urol. doi: 10.21037/tau.2017.04.09 [Epub ahead of print]
Admittedly recovery is more likely the younger the patient is.
------------------------
Although the information in these papers is not covered in detail in the ADT educational class, patients and their partners may be interested in knowing that for the next several months the ADT educational program will available to patients in the Canada. Here are the details.
Online Androgen Deprivation Therapy Educational Program in Canada
The ADT educational program is designed to help patients and partners manage the side effects of ADT and will be offer twice a month for the next several months in Canada. Details can be found on LifeOnADT.com.
Who is the program for?
The class is for patients and partners. This program is ideally for patients about to start ADT, but patients who are already on ADT are welcome, if there is room. Partners of patients on ADT are strongly encouraged to attend as well as the program is for both patients and partners.
Structure of the class:
This is a single 1.5 hour professional facilitated interactive webinar. Patients receive a free copy of the book: "Androgen Deprivation Therapy: An Essential Guide for Prostate Cancer Patients and Their Loved Ones."
When are the classes:
The upcoming sessions are on November 30th and December 14th at 3 pm (Pacific time zone).
Note—Space is limited.
How to register:
You can fill in a form on the home page of LifeOnADT.com or send an email to LifeOnADT@gmail.com.
In a word " NO "
Have your wife fake (as usual) an orgasm and you can fake foreplay...
j-o-h-n Wednesday 11/22/2017 12:06 PM EST
President Kennedy's assassination 54 years ago today.
Happy Tofu Turkey day to you all!
This won't fix the libido problem but it might fix the erectile dysfuntion problem. When viagra doesn't work, something called trimix might. I snagged the following statement from another support site:
"I am not an expert but I believe ADT side effects effect the desire and nerve bundles part of an erection and TRIMIX bypasses the nerves to produce a mechanical erection. When I was researching TRIMIX injections in this forum I believe I Remember seeing posts from some men on ADT and HT who reported the TRIMIX worked for them."
Trimix is something that a compounding house will brew up per your Urologist's formula. Oh yeah, I did some further research and read some instructions on the Sloan Kettering site. It turns out that sudafed pills are the antidote if you develop priapism; at least that's what they claim.
in reply to
I take four popsicle sticks, some masking tape....
in reply to
OMG. Great minds think alike.
"priapism"... Oh those were the days my friend - I thought they've never end...
j-o-h-n Wednesday 11/22/2017 10:04 PM EST
in reply to j-o-h-n
Holy shit! I had to look it up.
in reply to j-o-h-n
I think I suffered from that in High School ... walking through the hallways with books strategically placed. Darned thing had a mind of its own. Those were the days, is right.
I just have to post this...
I've always been a vivid dreamer. Mostly nightmarish, but some nice ones too. After reading this thread yesterday, I had the most pleasant surprise last night. Never in my life have I dreamt of actually having an orgasm. And, then I did. And, then I woke up! But, that's beside the point. It was just amazing, I kid you not. When I woke up, I didn't have a, you know, but I felt like smoking a cigarette.
J
Hmmmm ewhite. How long have you been on lupron? I know the first 2 years i could not even stand the word sex. As time went by (i have been on it for seven years) i regained interest in sex but no action down there. What ever you do keep the blood flowing with a pump viagra or cialis or injections. If you dont it will shrink up and then thats really not cool. If all fails there is implants that work great. Fact is if you dont use it you lose it.
Your libido will come around takes awhile but dont let it go like i did. I shunk to 3 inches.
Good luck
Thomas
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