When signing up for a local 5K walk/run that benefits PC, I had the option of a regular runner or to sign up as a Survivor.
I guess I got caught up with word Survivor - having stage 4 cancer and after 9 weeks of IMRT last year and now entering my second year of ADT, I feel like a Warrior, yes I've survived the treatments so far but this is far from over and it will continue to be a fight for hopefully many many years to come.
I'm new to this Cancer thing, are we called survivors due to having cancer even though we know the fight isn't over, hell I'm a Warrior against this beast!!
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Huzzah1
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I'd pick, warrior, guinea pig, or medical system financial supporter. If you say survivor people will jump to the conclusion that you are potentially cured and quit caring.
I subscribe to the notion we need to be our best person especially with a random PCa clock ticking. Spend more time with loved ones. Stop sweating the little stuff. Fighting and warrioring and so on are negative viewpoints that the ignorant press and media seem to have whipped up, labels in the worst sense. Interviews with upbeat people with cancer don't make the evening news.
I agrée war bears a negative feeling. So yes we do wars but for example every birthday, I like to feel I am a survivor. This fills me with hope for the coming year.
My original post got edited which is why the post as edited makes just a bit of sense - I was signing up for an Un-named 5K race that is benefiting Prostate cancer in an Un-named city. While signing up, my options were to be a regular participant in the un-named event - or sign up as a Survivor. The rest of the post ended up being posted. I was not trying to raise money for the event.
Huzzah1 wrote -- " ... I was signing up for an Un-named 5K race that is benefiting Prostate cancer in an Un-named city ... "
2014 was my first involvement with our local *Relay for Life* where I helped my wife who was actively involved with the 12 hour OVERNIGHT Event. I designed and built a free standing display that was in-line with the event's theme. Being a *walker* I joined in and walked a Half Marathon overnight along with others who participated on and off. In 2015 the event came 1 month following my PCa Diagnosis so I joined in as a Cancer Participant and received my first *Relay for Life Shirt* that had on the back in large print *SURVIVING*. Every shirt I've received since then was printed with Survivor and I have X'd OUT the *OR* at the end of the SURVIVOR and added ING. My 2015 participation was walking half my age so it was 33 miles overnight.
I am SURVIVING life with my cancer as a partner and will continue with the focus on Quality of Life rather than quantity of life.
p.s. - this past weekend my wife and I had a family get together for our 50th Anniversary. We saved up and rented an 11,000 sq. ft. house on 50+ acres and for once I did not have to cook at all 'cause family provided all food and drink so I ate and drank EVERYTHING that I normally do not. I enjoyed it immensely.
Congratulations, we had a similar weekend for our 30th. My teenage son arranged it with some close friends, we are so proud of him. Glad you enjoyed it and ate all you do not normally, I was good except for the cake. I rode yesterdayto work it off and guess you'll kick out some extra miles this week to work yours off as well :0).
Had lights ready to go EARLY this AM but just didn't want to get out of bed. Will be going out tomorrow to meet group at Rotonda Park and ride with them awhile, if they are even there or by myself if nobody is there.
That is so sweet about your teenage son. Good for him. And good for you for raising such a fine young man. I have two young-adult sons, so this really touched me.
IMO, this view of fighting a war with some kind of foreign entity within your body who's main aim is to try and kill you isn't the best view to take. This is why you see the terms survivor, war, enemy, beast and all the rest that comes with it. Personally, I believe if you take this view, you can become bitter due to the perceived injustices that come along with it.
Every single person on this planet has cancer. There are no exceptions. It's actually a part of your design for have it and have the ability for your body to attempt to rectify cancer when it sees it. You can not 'cure' something that you always have and always will have.
The fact is, your body is in a state where the cancer it has, has been allowed to get out of control for whatever reason. You should look at cancer as a part of your body instead of some evil entity that has somehow invaded it.
You should look at ways of treating your condition best as you see fit with the best evidence you have to try to restore the balance your body has where it can control the cancer you have.
So the reality is, we are all survivors. Some will be more successful than others in their effectiveness in treatments. Some will try harder but die earlier and some won't try at all and die from other causes.
I think its important to recognize what this thing actually is, and appreciate what you have with the time you have. Don't waste your time on negative thoughts of doom and gloom and the unfairness of it all.
We're all going to die at some point. I think I prefer not to live the remainder of my time left on this planet fighting some perceived war with an enemy hell bent on my demise. Moreover, try to get your best quality of life wrt your best shot of treatments that you believe is right for you.
As the saying goes 'What's for you, won't go past you'.
very interesting viewpoint. thank you for sharing it.
being a "zeke emanuel 75" fan, it makes a lot of sense to me.
wishing you the best.
out of curiosity, I decided to look up "survivor" and lo and behold, the NCI has a definition:
"One who remains alive and continues to function during and after overcoming a serious hardship or life-threatening disease. In cancer, a person is considered to be a survivor from the time of diagnosis until the end of life."
Though some days feel like a battle, that only covers a small portion of my experience of the last 4.5 years. I prefer to think of myself engaged in a complex adventure.
I am not a survivor, 6 1/2 years into this battle. I’m a warrior trying to add every day to the amount of time I have here on earth. Never give in 😡😡🙏🙏
Well, I believe it all depends on how you feel about it all, we can be either or even both.
I think being a survivor, is to submit to the "victim" status as being a subject to the cancer, controlled by it.
I think mentally we associate with the "warrior" status as we fight and want to take control over it, vanquish it.
We probably shift mental associations daily, some feeling victimized by the system, insurance, anxiety abounding and maybe even their care team. And yet, also feel superior to whatever may be holding us down, we break free of those chains and anchors dragging us along. We brush aside the cancer and live life, appreciate our time and know we are fighting for our own survival!
The warrior class comes into play as well, as we discover our community, others, fellow warriors fighting and not being submissive to it all. The felling of camaraderie, brotherhood... Acceptance and acknowledgement that we do not stand against this alone. That others have endured, and survived and fought, are fighting, but are in the battle too. And it "is" a battle unlike those written in history books, because each and every one of us writes our own story, and are the Hero's of it's telling.
There are plenty of tales worthy of Iliad status, with our warriors, heros and victims... Surprising in contemporary times, that there's little room in our hearts for such valor, emotion, and legacy.
So, yes, we grab our shield after we dress our armor, seize our weapons and join the line, we stand shoulder to shoulder ready to absorb the blows, and retaliate with vengeful retribution towards an unseen foe, but one we all recognize and fight. When one falls, we all feel it, knowing the battle they endured, and we close the line, stitch together seamlessly, not wanting to allow the perception of weakness being displayed. We stand tall, shoulders back and relax from the field for the day, knowing we have done all we can, not only for ourselves, but those standing besides us as well.
Reminds me a lot of Joseph Campbell and his “Hero’s Journey” in mythology and life. For any not already familiar with that, Campbell was a big influence for G. Lucas in writing the Star Wars trilogies.
When I was diagnosed 5 years ago I never took to the idea of being a "warrior". I know others use the term and that is great. However, I took a look at my whole life and throughout it I have considered everything I have done and experienced as a "journey". My father who lived with me his last 15 years (passed at 90), in a conversation with me said, "Of the 3 of you children your mother and I saw you were the one who always lived life on your terms. Nobody was going to fully tell you what or how to do something."
He was so right (eerily I mirror my father medically) and so I chose to see this as a journey. A road I didn't plan for but the road I've been on for 64 years has had many "forks" in it. Choices to be made, outcomes to be assessed and new choices. I didn't let this stop me other than momentarily (surgery, radiation). I have dealt well with any side effects, at this point minimal. I had already adjusted diet before diagnosis while resetting my health and losing 140lbs. I continue to eat and exercise in a manner that I feel has benefitted me. All of my doctors (I also have a mitral valve condition I was born with) are amazed at my outlook and positivity.
I feel you have to find the terminology that reflects how you view Prostate cancer and your life. For some it is certainly a war against an invader of sorts. For others it is surviving at various stages. For some it is a nuisance of sorts. In any way you see it there is one very important aspect - keep a positive outlook, appreciate what is around you (family, friends, etc.) and know that you are not alone.
I will add, I have never regretted anything I have done in my life. I've tried hard to not hurt anyone or anything, and to help as I could others when I could.
First, I thought of myself as a victim, beaten down, and robbed of my manhood. I took a vow of revenge to destroy this beast. I armed myself with all the knowledge I could find and continue to do the same each day. This site is my key armory. I wear my war feathers for all to see. My light blue wristband allows others to question what battle am I fighting. This allows me to tell my story and those of others in the fight. Every so often I am rewarded with the knowledge I have helped wound or even kill the beast attacking us. And as in any war, we have many who are KIA. So I am in the Warrior camp.
To me a Survivor is someone who was fortunate enough to live through a traumatic event. A Warrior is someone who faces a beast in our case Prostate cancer) and fights back with everything he has. My story is similar to yours. I am not just going to survive, I am going to be a better and stronger version of myself I will face my beast and conquer it!
I believe I am neither a survivor nor a warrior. These are labels that define me in relationship to my disease and not to me. I have a new life defined by new choices and the opportunity to take my life in a new direction.
Spending my life being a survivor or warrior means that I live defined by my disease and the control does not lie with me. That is not the way I want to live my life. Yes, I do all the things I need to stay as healthy as possible but that is within the context of a life that I define and is not my sole focus. It is just part of a larger picture of doing things that give me joy and wanted to do but haven't done.
How we view our condition and its impact on our lives is very individual, so I do not pass judgement. It is everyone's personal choice. I choose for my life to be one focused on living and enjoying family and friends and celebrating all the opportunities I have!
Many who have commented here could benefit by reading Viktor Frankl's MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING.
No -- this is not some feely, touchy bit of new age drivel; rather, VF was a Jewish, Viennese psychiatrist who was caught up in the Holocaust, being interned in 4 concentration camps (including Auschwitz). He published this little book a year after he was finally released, and is an invaluable guide to how one can "endure the unendurable".
The book was first recommended to me 25-30 years ago, and it has been an enormously helpful guide since I was first diagnosed with PC 7 years ago.
So maybe it’s helpful to recognize that sometimes the ‘baggage’ attached to any label one chooses to attach oneself to is not universally applicable to every individual. Not unlike the variety of individual responses to treatments.
Maybe what’s more important is how it resonates for each person who ‘adopts’ a particular label/identity. There’s nothing inherently wrong or right about a placebo effect. If the adoption of a label is helpful then great, I’d say.
If I have a problem with labels it’s more related to how they’re sometimes used in a divisive way, and help obscure the commonalities we share in the journey, be it with cancer or any other aspect of the human condition.
I prefer to try to stay more focused on the idea that, in one way or another, we’re all just walking each other ‘home’. Fellow travelers, if you will, in a multitude of ways until we each reach the end of this human journey. More kindness and less righteousness is what’s most helpful, IMO.
Wishing one and all a journey filled with as much joy and QOL as we can each access along the way.
I prefer not to use a single word. Metastatic PCa is very deadly and I am five years in (since diagnosis-2 years or more could likely be added) on just Lupron and alternative stuff (to whatever extent those have helped, of any).
If someone wants to know the details (or not), fine. But I never use just a single term.
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Toast to a Taken Warrior 
Sending love and positive vibes to all the warriors 😊
We will fight through this, DAD!
Advanced Metastatic Prostate Cancer Survivor
