After years of doctors, trials, tests... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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After years of doctors, trials, tests, meds etc. it is time to rest and flow with the current

Faith1111 profile image

After almost 4 years of posting here I have found it most difficult to write this. My wonderful 57 year old brother Bob has entered Hospice 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately these last three months have been one setback after another. Emergency spinal surgery leaving him struggling to walk, a permanent indwelling catheter to drain his lungs, blood clots, and then shingles on his face and in his eye which really was the last straw. He had done one infusion of chemo but was unable to continue. He is very weak now and losing weight. He is sleeping more during the day. Gabapentin and oxy are keeping him comfortable. I have always dreaded the day that I would have to write this. So many of you have been so kind and supportive over the years. TA, Nal, Patrick, George, and so many others have helped shape the treatments that added time to his life. I have followed so many of your stories and still do. I just wanted to let you all know

129 Replies

I am heartbroken

I know. You have been an incredible friend, his biggest supporter and someone he still cares so much about.

So unfair for a 57 year old ……

So very sorry.

So sorry to hear this update. You have tried your best.

Thank you Carl

Oh, Bob I remembered our phone calls, we drove each other joyfully nuts. We're both so passionate and animated, so sorry we drifted apart in our quest and never took that walk at Newton park.

Amazingly 4 years has passed, I feel we just chatted a few days ago...

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to DarkEnergy

Bob remembers you well. Two brothers brought together by chance and circumstance. Thank you for your support. He wishes you well

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to DarkEnergy

💔🙏

So very sorry to hear this, Faith. Praying for physical and spiritual comfort for your dear brother Bob, and strength and peace for all the family.

Thank you so much

It seems to be getting popular in hospice to write down or record final thoughts. You may want to suggest that to him if he can keep his thoughts together. Having a sense of purpose, even in the end times may be something he wants.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Tall_Allen

I will talk to him about that good suggestion. Thank you TA

Faith and the one who had been there for him I’m sadden by the events that have currently and circulating your life. Thank you for the one thousand eleven percent of constant love ❤️ Your are a awl by his side

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Metaldraft

Thank you so much Metaldraft

So sorry

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to rogerandme

Thank you

I meant angel at his side

Prayers for you and your family for strength and comfort. Prayers for Bob for a peaceful transition. I know how heartbreaking this must have been to write this post but all of us here appreciate the update. Please know that you're surrounded in prayer by all of us here. I'm so very sorry Faith. This has been such a hard journey for your dear brother and you as well. You have truly fought hard for answers and hope. He is blessed to have you by his side.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Yadifan

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support Yadifan

Words escape me right now. You have been a true angle assisting your Brother and me.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Ramp7

Thank you Ramp for your support and caring. It means a lot

May Bob rest pain free and it be a smooth ride on that current. You have both fought the good fight. I have followed your posts on here and have admired your love for your brother. May you both obtain gentle peace.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Aussieguy1

Thank you so much Aussie for your kind words

What an amazing sister he has.

Thank you. It’s what you do for someone you love.

I'm so sorry to see this post. Please know that we care so much.

Thank you Sunshine. We are all connected here

Faith I was so hoping a miracle would occur, still envisaging Bob getting into the truck to drive his daughter. My love to you all.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to NickJoy

Thank you for that NJ. This is such a supportive community. I appreciate your visualization as promised. Somehow I believe in miracles. Maybe that vision will still come to pass. Bless you

NickJoy profile image
NickJoy in reply to Faith1111

I very much hope and pray it will.

Sometimes we read words but are in disbelief in believing them, reading yours just now was one of those moments. I had to go back and read the chats I had with Bob, your beloved brother, he was filled always with so much hope, so much positivity that treatments like Keytruda would work, each update ending with a smiley face. So unfair that hope did not become a reality, my heart is broken with this news.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Vindog29

Thank you so much for your care and kind words. Yes, it is heartbreaking and I still cannot believe how quickly this all happened. You have been a great support to him. I recall many of your conversations. Thank you for being there for him

For you Faith, I would seek Adonai Elohim,You should make your Plea to Him,

For God does great deeds beyond investigation,

He does wonders beyond all reckoning,

He gives rain to the earth,

And raises the lowly on high,

And lifts mourners to safety.

He will raise your brother to a place called Eternity when the time comes.

For now, you and your brother I Pray for a special peace.

Some within my spiritual community call it the Shalom Hagadol.

This is The Great Peace that transcends all time, has no boundaries, and is everlasting.

It is written the old order of all things must pass.

And the past is forgotten and everything becomes new.

Faith, you and I have traveled a few miles--You are a Rock, espousing a special Love.

alohim yabrech youto[God Bless You]

Nal

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Nalakrats

Nal I cannot thank you enough for all you have said and done for us. I appreciate the prayer and the blessing. I have faith and I believe. Thank you

Send him our prayers.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Magnus1964

I will Magnus. Thank you

So sorry you’re having to go through this now. Very sad.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Fuzzman77

Thank you

So sorry 😔

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to dorke

Thank you

So so sorry to read this. Thank you for sharing his and your story, it feels like an honour to have witnessed the love, support, humour and tenacity you have described in your posts. You and Bob clearly have had a lot of happy years and times and am so sorry this hasn’t played out differently. We’ve never met but you have inspired all the same. So so sorry

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Brysonal

Thank you for your kind words Brysonal.

So sorry to hear this. You are a wonderful sister.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to joeguy

Thank you joeguy.

A good many of us here follow each others plightEven if we cant be there when they pass into the light...

Not one of us will judge another when

Its time to stop the fight

For each of us will reach our limit....

After fighting with all our might.....

A brother to have a sisters love

To comfort and hold him tight

Surely makes the pain of letting go

Less dark and allright....bw

In time a smile at the good memories...

So beautifully written. I will treasure it

I’m sorry to hear this news. I’ll keep you and Bob in my thoughts.

Hugh

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Aodh

Thank you Hugh

I'm heartbroken for you all, so very sad.

You are the most amazing sister God ever created, I've read your posts and thought why didn't I have a sister who cares as much as you do, mine doesn't.

My wife and I send you our love and prayers to you and each of your family.

You will see him again Faith.

Phil

Faith1111 I will be thinking of you and Bob through these difficult days. If we could all have a sister like you, he is blessed.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to TJGuy

Thank you TJ

I am very sad to read this. Sending love and light to you all.🙏

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to spw1

Thank you spw1

May he be at peace. It's tough but hope you will find strength.God bless..

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to caretkr

Thank you caretkr

OMG. So young. Such an awful disease. He was so lucky to have loving family beside him. Sending prayers..

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to lincolnj8

Thank you lincoln

At times like this what do you say 😢 , God bless you for caring for your father, God help him be comfortable in these last few days or weeks.

Thank you Larry

My prayers are with you and your family at this terrible time 🙏🏽

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Bebby1

Thank you Bebby

Godspeed. I’m so sorry.

Thank you Pancake

❤️🙏

I'm so sorry, Faith. Through your words, we have experienced Bobby's pain and frustration. In them, we see our own destiny. We are all members of his fraternity. Brothers to the end.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to TonyS58

Fraternity brothers…. Absolutely. Thank you Tony

Very sorry to hear this. I hope all goes as gently as possible.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Istomin

Thank you Istomin

Praying that God comforts Bob, you, and your family.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Lasered

Thank you Lasered

Such sad news. You must be a Wonderful Sister. May God give you strength to carry on and cherish the good days🙏

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to TommyCarz

Thank you Tommy

Dear Faith1111,

I am so sorry to read your post. You have been a blessing to your brother. So many are alone or worse, in a situation where the "significant" others really don't care.

I know that you will be there for him, especially now. Do not forget yourself! Someone as caring and giving as yourself would tend to do that.

Family, friends and clergy can be helpful, but at times, we are our own best support and company. It gives us time to "sort things out".

Currumpaw

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Currumpaw

Thank you currumpaw, he has a large supportive family, devoted wife and four wonderful children. He’s also been blessed with an abundance of friends who love him as well. Being the oldest of five and Bob being the youngest my nature is to Comfort and support him through this journey from start to finish.

Praying for a miracle and wishing you all peace and comfort. What a lucky man to have you in his life.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Yank66

Thank you Yank 66. I still pray for a miracle too

He is at peace and you were always there for him through this terrible ordeal. What a sister! Sending you love and strength through this hard juncture.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Lavender22

Thank you Lavender22

Sorry to hear this

So sorry Faith. I do not know you but felt compelled to say something. Life just isn't fair sometimes 57 is no age these days.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to ch922455

Thank you ch for your kind words

Faith,I have followed your brother's journey and I am so sorry. Thank you for all the information you and your brother have shared on prostate cancer. May Bob's pain be well managed.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Lowbed

We shared a nice connection Lowbed. So thankful for your support.

It broke my heart to read about your brother! I'd like to thank you for sharing, because I didn't realize our guys had a higher chance of developing shingles. We'll ask to get the vaccine. ❤ thanks again

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Boatingfun

Yes, please get the shingles vaccine. Going through chemo can greatly increase the chances. On top of everything else it can be devastating. Thank you for your kind words

I got the shingles, at least for me, it stayed around the lower waist area. To imagine shingles can occur above the neck area is breathtaking.

Condolences, so young to lose a fellow warrior, may you find peace in prayer and fond memories of him. God bless and strengthen you through the difficult times ahead.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Muffin2019

Thank you Muffin

I'm so sorry to hear about this, I can only hope that he remains pain free during this stage of his journey.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Hailwood

Thank you Haileood. I’m hoping he stays pain-free as well.

I'm so sorry and heartfelt anguish falls over me to read this. I'm a newbie here (kinda), but have read many of your postings and it's easy how we all feel that instant kindred spirit with our fellow warriors and their loved ones. Especially those who are side by side in the forward march, sharing all the hardships the warriors do. There's so much love there, we can all see it and feel it and how wonderful that is cannot be put into words.

I'm sending prayers and positive thoughts your way, and hope Bob is comfortable as his time will allow. Bless you all!

Best Regards

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Cooolone

Very well said Cooolone. Thank you for your prayers

Way to young. Send him my prayers. May he and you find peace.

Thank you Newyork

Peace and Love Faith

Thank you Scout

GOD BLESS YOUR BROTHER AND YOU AND HIS FAMILY. MAY GOD BRING HIM PEACE.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to gloriahale

Thank you gloria

So sorry to hear. You have been an awesome sister and advocate for Bob; hugs to you both.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to TylexGP

Appreciate your hugs

Thank you for the report. Would should all be so blessed to have someone like you at our side when the time comes.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to spencoid2

Wish I could be there for everyone. Thank you spencoid2

I dreaded the day that I would read this. And now, with tears in my eyes, I have. I am so very sorry.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Bethpage

You have always been so kind in your replies. I have dreaded this too. Thank you for thinking of us

Bethpage profile image
Bethpage in reply to Faith1111

Wish I could give you a hug.

So sorry for his struggle and yours. I was diagnosed at 57 and that was considered young. Your brother in hospice at 57 is far too soon.

The blessing is he will be freed from the suffering. He is very fortunate to have you there by his side.

May you be able to enjoy your time together, even if just to sit in his room and read to him. When the time comes, may his transition be a peaceful one and your journey back into the sunlight be short.

Take care.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to dmt1121

Your words are comforting. Thank you for the nice reply

Terrible news proving that life is really unfair. Like Shakespeare's Macbeth says in Macbeth, "Life's but a walking shadow." If only everyone had an amazing sister like you, the world would be a much better place. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Bob.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to cancerfox

Thank you for your kind words cancerfox

You and Bob have been so fortunate to have each other in this life. May you each find your own peace in the days to come. I will be praying for him, and you, and your families.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to garyjp9

Thank you Gary. We appreciate the prayers

So very sorry for your loss.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to benninger

Thank you benninger

I am so sorry to hear of this very sad news.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to jfoesq

Thank you jfoesq

Tell Robert we all are pulling for him...and praying too. Faith you are a wonderful sister and I have been asking God to let me trade my brother for you. Bless you all....

j-o-h-n Friday 04/29/2022 12:28 AM DST

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to j-o-h-n

Haha. You always have a light hearted comment. You make me laugh! Thank you for all of your kind responses over the years

cancerfox profile image
cancerfox in reply to j-o-h-n

I would trade my brother for a decent slice of pizza. Probably wouldn't get many offers, though.

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to cancerfox

Oh you have one of those too... (remember murder is still illegal here in the US).....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 04/29/2022 7:42 PM DST

So very sorry. You have been amazing through all this. Hoping for a pain free peaceful ending for your wonderful brother.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Proflac

Thank you Proflac

Sorry to hear it is now your brothers turn. We all know we will be there but fight until the fight is all worn out. Bless you and yours through this hard letting go time.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Shooter1

Thanks Shooter. It’s hard to shift gears

Oh Faith? Bob at just 57 ? Whoah! Too young for this ! It hurts me greatly to see younger men than I suffering so much . It ain’t right . Love is the only answer to this disease gone bad !Youre by his side❤️ Mercy we pray for all ! I had only brothers .You the loving sister are precious . Lead him through .. Stay strong ! 🙏😔💔

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Lulu700

Thank you LuLu for the comforting words. I will be with him when his time comes

No hurry young lady ! He’s with you always! This love is eternal!He needs you here living your life with joy! Thank you for sharing with us all . In this we are all human together . 💔🙏😔

So sorry to hear this. God bless.

Faith1111 profile image
Faith1111 in reply to Neverstop

Thank you so much Neverstop

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