Hi, this is Howard's wife. It is with great sorrow that I write to say Howard lost his battle to prostate cancer on the evening of November 12.
This year has been very difficult for us, with Howard's health declining since mid November 2018, despite having Lu177 in Sydney, towards the end of October last year. Howard tolerated Lu well and it did resolve some sort tissue involvement but by the time he had his second treatment Jan4, he was experiencing quite a bit of bone pain which, how we made the three hour drive to the airport and a two or three hour flight, I will never know. I had hoped that Actinium might have been added to the mix, but with the interruption of Christmas and New Year, the email was not received in time. To cut a long story short, the rest of the year was spent in and out of hospital for spot radiation to thoracic, lumber and skull, delaying chemotherapy. When Howard finally had a chance to commence chemo it was about July or maybe mid July, with chemo every two weeks. On August 26th, the chemo nurse was so concerned with the weakness in his legs that she phoned the oncologist who said to cancel chemo and admit him to hospital. That was the last day he walked. He had a one off radiation to his thoracic and lumbar spine, to no avail. After spending 5 weeks in hospital and me having some training in using a sling and hoist to transfer him from his hospital bed into a wheelchair, I brought him home, where he enjoyed three weeks being with his family in his own surroundings. After becoming unwell and another trip into hospital, the kids and I made the decision to bring him home again, which was the right thing to do for him as he became much happier in his own surroundings for the last 5 days. I am eternally grateful to my children and their partners, who helped make this possible and the district nurses, healthcare assistant and night nurse, whom without, I would not have managed.
Howard did not post a lot on this site, but he certainly spent many hours reading the posts and trying to gain as much knowledge as he could in the different treatments available. If a national screening program had been in place, such as we have for breast and cervical cancer, I would like to think that his prostate cancer would have been diagnosed early enough so that it was operable, which hopefully would have produced quite a different outcome. Howard celebrated his 69th birthday and our 35th wedding anniversary on October 20th with all the family.
Regards and Good Luck to everyone on this journey.
Anna
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boseley
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So sorry for your loss. As I read this I am shedding tears for your husband. May his memories give you and your children strength and love as you move on with your lives.
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you tried everything in the prostate cancer armamentarium. He was lucky to have you as his partner in the good times and the bad.
It’s so sad to hear another brother has passed. A reminder to us other stage 4 metastatic brothers to settle our affairs and gather our loved ones near.
It sounds like Howard was very lucky to have such a loving wife and family that cared so much for him. Having someone In your life that will grieve for you , when you pass , is something all of us hope , dearly , we will have .... not all of us will tho. Sounds like Howard had someone to hold him , kiss him , hold his hand and say goodbye. At least, in that respect , Howard was very fortunate. I know he appreciated your outpouring of love .... beyond expression.
Late 60s (almost 70) historically is a very long life. Hope he lived every bit well, until unwell. You, Anna, obviously loved the man, so he did not fail to 'launch' or 'connect' with his life. Good on you and him. I fought so hard to have my wife at home in 2017 for the last 2 weeks of her life (at 62). She passed knowing she was loved. I am alone with my deamon. Your man was the lucky one. x
Thank you and rest assured we didn't let the grass grow under our feet. We managed to do a lot in the last few years, including some great walks in our national parks, we call it tramping, I believe the rest of the world call it hiking and a couple of trips to Europe and Australia and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and with family and friends, It's shame it couldn't last forever.
First of all, thank you for taking the time to write. I am sending a big hug. I am so sorry for you, Howard and the rest of your family. As someone else posted, he is a lucky man to be loved and to have had your support through this. May Howard rest in peace. all my best, another wife
My heartfelt condolences. I am sure Howard was very glad that you were by his side and making it as comfortable as possible. God bless you as you live your life forward with great memories of Howard.
Thank you for your sharing what this year was like for you and your husband. Some day you will remember the good times and let this monster go. Peace to you and your family.
Anna, truly sorry to hear about Howard’s passing. I’m glad you were able to have him at home where he could be in comfortable surroundings with you and your children there to be with him. My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you deal with your loss. May God bless you and bring you comfort knowing his suffering is over and he is at peace. May your sadness at his passing be transitioned into happy memories of your time together.
Please accept my wife’s and my sincere condolences in the passing of Howard , a fellow warrior now resting in peace . We are so sorry for what you and your husband had to endure . Praying for God’s mercy and comfort for you and your family
I agree with Nalakrats that simply saying I’m sorry is hugely insufficient but it would be so difficult for me and I suspect many of us, those battling and those supporting partners we adore, to fully express the sadness and empathy we feel when one of “us” loses the fight. As the loving wife of a man dealing with a PCa diagnosis and navigating all the variables and choices and waiting for test results and “the next shoe to drop” all while trying to maintain some semblance of life pre-diagnosis I mourn with you and wish you peace as I wish it for all of us and for myself and my beautiful husband. God bless you and all of us here and all of us who are no longer here. ❤️
Oh Anna - it pains me to hear of what happened. May you find peace knowing that you did everything possible to help and comfort him. I hope you and your family can grieve and then find the strength to move forward with wonderful memories of 35 years!
Hi we are in New Zealand. Lutetium wasn't available here at that point in time, so we travelled to Sydney from Auckland. It is now available in Auckland, so hope that it can make a difference to men here, now.
Words fail me, just tears welling up. All I can say is sorry which is so inadequate, Glad you managed to get your Hubbie home, surrounded by family and friends.
I hope you can take comfort in the fact you were there for him until the very end and did everything you could to help him, which I'm sure Howard knew, and how much you loved him.
My condolences, Anna. You did the right thing bringing him back home. I hope you are able to find some comfort in having fought this battle beside him and giving him your love and care through his toughest days. Although that can feel like very little, it truly is everything. Peace to you and your family. Hugs!!!!
This touches that sad place in all of us. I want to thank you for sharing. It brings tears but it reinforces our reality and that is okay.....especially when it involves one of our own. Thank you and big hugs.
Dear Anna, Howard's pain is gone...he is in a much better place...May you and your children's memory never fade of the man you and your children loved so dearly. You are indeed a courageous wife that we all admire. God bless you and your family.. Please stay with us we need you too...
Dear Anna, thank you for sharing your brave story. Your love with Howard shines throughout. I am another kiwi who has crossed the ditch for Lu177 sessions (4) in 2017, as NZ have only a very limited Lu177 research trial currently. I am currently in a group hoping to bring about an equitable standard of care for prostate cancer patients in NZ. Any further suggestions from you would be welcome (privately if preferred). God bless. =Rob.
Ouch...so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope your memories of what was very obviously a lovely life, sustain you in the years to come. echoing Nalkarats, I wish you peace.
Just read your post, and like everyone else I am so sorry for your loss. I wrapped myself in memories, and then started making new memories. I wish you and family all the best going forward. Monte
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Radiation or Chemotherapy on Prostate?
