Why does spring always hit me in the balls? Because I'm stupid?
Every bad health event throughout my life had happened in the time of Spring. 26 years ago, in the spring of 1994, I was slammed with ankylosing spondylitis flare of epic proportions. All joints swelled like popped airbags and hurt like burning hell. I couldn't bend or turn one, including the neck to the point it was painful to point eyes more than a few degrees off center. I was bedridden almost 3 months, lost piles of weight while being a tall skinny 150-pounder to begin with and looked like a malnourished prisoner on my wedding photos. At the end my butt was hard as cement and didn't have a spare place to stick a needle with anti-inflammatories which were given in enormous amounts to cool this fire down. Later, when I learned to live with this beast, it would sometimes flare up, thankfully not to the same degree, but in the spring again
Fast-forward nowadays. I learned to live with AS, put it into remission with lifestyle, diets, supplements, and new gen drugs when needed. But in the spring of 2018 I was miserable and suffering again from the totally new beast, thinking it was returning of the old one. In March I was diagnosed with metastatic PCa, Stage 4, GS 9 aggressive kind with prostate pushing on my hip nerve and a couple of mets in the spine. By end of the year after chemo, ADT and other therapies I was back on my feet with great results: markers were down, the mets were receding. Fall is a great time, folks!
Spring 2019 met me with strong back pain and markers going to the orbit. The one quickly growing metastasis was about to cut into the spinal cord so we had to shoot it with radiation beams first and then jump into the double chemo pool. It was a scary experience but the recovery was wonderful.
Spring 2020. The results of previous treatments showed remarkable improvements across the board. Markers are the lowest they have ever been, no inflammation, clear scans, no activity anywhere. Inspired, I'm starting the last leg of the attack plan: Provenge. But right after the first injection my port gets infected and I experience two scariest near sepsis events. Provenge is cancelled, ports are out and I'm on antibiotics trying to calm down my wild immune cells that were supposed to fight cancer by now. And then, suddenly, spine pain returns: strong, persistent, drilling into the nerve, taking my night sleep away, and stubbornly not responding to NSAIDs much. Is this a replay of last spring? Surprisingly, my markers turned out great, in fact, PSA is the lowest it’s ever been. So we are anxiously waiting for an MRI next week to see what's causing all this mess. Is this an old beast or a new one? In any case, they both prefer to show up at the same time of the year.
While looking at some beautiful pictures of our planet, I thought: Am I stupid or what? I could have moved to the southern hemisphere at the onset of spring and then move back by the end of their winter to be here just in time for the fall colors. That way my life could have been spared from these monsters as I would confuse the hell out of them by making my spring never come. Am I some kind of stupid Phoenix bird stuck in some sort of constant recycling loop? I certainly thought and lived like one, but I should have been a free migratory bird.
Seriously, why spring? (snip-snap! whoosh! crackle…)