My dad passed 12/9/2019: His prostate... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer
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My dad passed 12/9/2019

ann1919
ann1919

His prostate cancer was responding to the Xtandi. His last PSA was 0.3. He was doing remarkable for a 90 + year old who was diagnosed with prostate cancer stage 4 in 1996. Walking 1-2 miles 3-4 times a week.

He went into the hospital Thursday 12/5 with a small bowel obstruction, he was prone to them. Friday the general surgeon decided to do a small bowel series using Gastrografin to assist unblocking him. . They put it in his NG tube and he aspirated which turned into aspiration pneumonia which I’ve read is 70% fatal with that contrast.He was sedated from receiving IV dilauded for his pain and when he returned I noticed his NG tube was not at the correct cm mark. He spit up a small amount on return from the the test. He immediately needed oxygen. I knew what happened right away, but did not find out till the next day that the aspiration occurred in the GI lab. He became septic and went into multi system failure they say. His blockage cleared up. But his respiratory status wasn’t responding. His urinary output increased but his creatinine had tripled to 3.8. They called in a nephrologist to do CRRT but he thought it would do more harm than good. He was on BIPAP to keep his oxygen level up. They tried a few times to get him off the BIPAP, but the oxygen level dropped immediately. He would cry out “ help me”. Other than that he appeared peaceful with the BIPAP on. They said there was no hope and per his advance directive and our decision it was taken off to resume hospice care. It was taken off around 2:07 and he passed at 2:40 peacefully. I am still in shock, disbelief. I really thought I’d have him longer. We had been out & bought his usual Christmas gifts of biscotti that he loved giving his doctor , neighbors and family. I am heartbroken.

He fought a good fight and led a wonderful life. He will be missed by all.

This photo was taken 12/2 one week before he passed at chick filet.

130 Replies
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I am Prayerfully sorry and also Pray the Shalom Gadol for you.

A special peace that transcends time.

Nalakrats

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Nalakrats

Thank you 🙏

It is always sad when one of our own passes.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Magnus1964

Thank you❤️

My sincere condolences for his passing. He had fought a good fight for close to a quarter-century with PCa. Peace be with you.

Thank you. He really did. He went through chemo, taxotere & radiation at age 89. The PC had spread to multiple areas in the spine, scapula, skull, ribs and pelvis. His only complaint was that his shoulder hurt a little.

Bigdo58
Bigdo58
in reply to ann1919

What a champion of a man! God speed!!

My heartfelt condolences goes out to you Ann , so sorry for your loss.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Kaliber

Thank you ❤️

so sorry for you loss.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to greatjohn

Thank you❤️

I have no words........

It doesn't matter how much it was expected, it is always a shock. And it doesn't matter how long you've had him, the loss is always immeasureable. My condolences.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Tall_Allen

Thank you ❤️ I hope all is well with you🙏

With sincere sympathy on the loss of your dear father.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to tallguy2

Thank you❤️

Hi ann1919, so sorry to hear about your loss. I miss my Dad so much so I know how hard it is. Peace to you.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Danielgreer

Thank you❤️

🙏for you

You are a wonderful tribute to your father .. May he now Rest In Peace.. I think 23 years after dx was quite a valiant run .. 90 is a full life .. He looks dam good at chic filet a week ago . My father also had Apc and departed this plain 21 years ago . Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him and love him still . I believe those bonds are eternal .. Love doesn’t die..Please morn ,but then also make sure to celebrate his life .. Thank you kindly, for sharing your love for a great man ,with us all . He will always be inside of you . Peace to your family in this time of loss and grieving 🙏

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Whimpy-p

Thank you❤️

Whimpy-p
Whimpy-p
in reply to ann1919

🙏❤️

Hard to resist that playful smile he had just days before he passed. I’m betting he was a pretty darn fun guy and a great dad. So sorry for your loss

Schwah

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Schwah

Thank you❤️ He was loved by all and had friends wherever we went. Kind & good hearted.

Darryl
DarrylAdministrator

Condolences and love to you and your family

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Darryl

Thank you❤️

My thoughts are with you. Your dad sounds wonderful. I hope your happy memories soon drive out the pain and that the peace of the holiday overwhelms you.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to YostConner

Thank you❤️ He was a wonderful man

Condolences for you and family

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to kikepana

Thank you❤️

My sincerest condolences to you and the family on his passing. We all suffer when we lose a Brother.

Rest in Peace Sir and suffer no more

Hugs - Randy

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to dockam

Thank you. ❤️ I know he’s at peace now & with my mother who passed in 2017. They were married 62.5 years

Whimpy-p
Whimpy-p
in reply to ann1919

I believe this also... ❤️

My parents both died 6days apart in Dec

It will be 8 yrs tomorrow that we buried them

So I say to you think of all those times and all those laughs and it does help that pain

He looks like he was enjoying dinner

❤️🙏

Thank you❤️He loved chick filet especially the chicken noodle soup

So sorry but wonderful, long life. God bless!

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Wdoug

Thank you❤️ He was a blessing to me

I am so sorry for you and your family. I know your pain

I lost my dad July 4th, 2018. You are in my prayers.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Tonyland

Thank you ❤️

I’m very sorry for your loss. Peace be with you. 💗

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Emmett50

Thank you❤️

Condolences. So sorry for your loss. Your dad seemed like a true champion having endured all those years. May he rest in peace.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to MMK-XFuture

Thank you ❤️ He was a wonderful example to me

What an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing it. God bless

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to MrOz

Thank you ❤️

So sorry, he is resting peacefully, an inspiration to us all.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Muffin2019

Thank you ❤️

sadly, so many of us know how you feel - I'm very sorry, it's so hard to lose a parent, you know it happens but when it happens to you it seems a bit unreal, you'll wake up and he'll be there as usual - I still dream about my mom and it's been 5 years, and that timespan alone is hard for me to believe

I have to say I'm really disturbed about how the hospital, doctors and nurses handled him - yes he was old and things happen at that age, but still...I don't want to make your pain worse, but I do think he deserved much better -

again, I'm so sorry

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to kapakahi

Thank you❤️ I agree with you. I feel more precautions should of been taken during the GI test because he was an “aspiration risk”. I believe the contrast could of been administered Intravenously

so sorry but he had a good long run.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Howard53545

Thank you ❤️

So sorry for your loss

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Tmetz

Thank you❤️

I am so sorry for you and your family.....he does look very happy and content in that picture!

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to ForJoel

Thank you ❤️ He was genuinely happy. Every time we’d go out he would say, “ This has been the best day ever”

"He fought a good fight and led a wonderful life. "

These words stick in my mind as this is how I'm feeling about my life. This last 10 years has been the best 10 years of my life (I have two boys 10 and 9 years), despite the devastating diagnosis last year. I will keep the fight going for them and my amazing Wife.

My condolences he sounds like a wonderful Dad.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Zetabow

Thank you❤️ I wish you the best. I believe my dad’s secret was he was never negative about all the problems the PC caused him

May the Lord give you peace.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to ck722

Thank you ❤️

Your story gives me hope that I might keep my husband for longer than the 2-5 years that we were told. I am so sorry that you lost him and I can see that you were close. Warmest thoughts to you from me. xo

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Doggedness

Thank you❤️ Never give up. When my dad was diagnosed in 1996 one doctor told me his mortality rate could be 3 months. The doctor referred to him as his “miracle patient “

What could you possibly attribute to his 20+ years of surviving PC? I was diagnosed 18 months ago at age 63. I hope and pray for as many more years as possible.

He was 67 at the time of the diagnosis. I would say aggressive treatment. He had radiation, Lupron injections and Casodex. It remained dormant till 2015, then showed up in his scapula and it was radiated & he was treated with trelstar and xgevia. Then in 2018 it was found in multiple bone areas & was treated with taxotere and prednisone , but he could not tolerate the prednisone. It caused esophageal ulcers. Then they put him on Xtandi , and it appeared to be effective.

Best wishes for you! 🙏🙏

hello ann1919, I am so sorry you lost your dad. thanks for sharing his photo and the information about how he died. what a cutie.....may he rest in peace.

you were lucky to have each other.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to msnik

Thank you❤️He was a sweet man, never met a stranger

Please accept my sincerest condolences. He did live a long and good life. I lost my father to prostate cancer last August. May God grant you patience and tranquility in your heart always.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Sheryn11

Thank you ❤️ I’m sorry for your loss🙏

God bless and comfort your family

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Micaiah05

Thank you ❤️

My deepest condolences, thoughts, and prayers go out to you and your family. He was a good looking young fella with a nice smile, and lived life to the fullest right up until he left us. I pray your sadness will be soon turned into happy memories.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Litlerny

Thank you ❤️I try to focus on the happy times

My deepest sympathy.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Istomin

Thank you ❤️

I lost my Dad in 1997 and Mom in 2011. I think about them most every day in one way or another. Eventually the sadness slowly dissipates and the loving memories are in your heart forever. Our parents want us to live life. Your Dad...what a fight...what a life. Peace.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to ehiker

Thank you ❤️

May He Rest in Peace...

James

Thank you ❤️

It hard to loose a parent. Especially this time of year. Blessings to you and yours. 💕

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Brbnbrn

Thank you ❤️ I agree

I’m so sorry🙏

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Bobkar

Thank you ❤️

Sending Prayers, so sorry for your loss.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to lincolnj8

Thank you ❤️

My condolences for your loss. It is incredibly hard to lose a parent, and it always seems to happen unexpectedly. But, he clearly fought a remarkably successful fight against the cancer! Your love for him, and the way you cared for him, helping him reach deep old age, I'm sure were always a great comfort to him!

Art

Thank you ❤️

Ann..wrapping my arms tightly around you. My heart is with you and your family. Lifting you up in prayer. ❤

Thank you ❤️

I am so sorry for your loss sweetie. I pray for you and your family in this difficult time. Sounds like your Dad was a terrific person. Cherish those precious moments you had with him.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Gjohns1

Thank you ❤️

I am flying an Angel Flight on Monday......I will wag my wings for your Dad....

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to pilot52

Thank you ❤️ That’s wonderful. He’d love that, I know

My father is 88 and getting near his end as well, I can feel your pain and hope your father is on his way to heaven now. So very sorry for your loss 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you ❤️ My husband describes my dad as an “gravity bound angel”

Condolences on your loss. Nothing can replace a parent in one's mind. Looks like he enjoyed his life despite all this problems and treatments.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to binati

Thank you ❤️ He really did go through a lot

I’m 80. Your father looks damn good for 90!!!

May he RIP.

Blessed are the daughters who care, I have one too.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Toad1

Thank you. He always walked and had a positive outlook

All losses are painful. And the loss of such a long and rich life, no less so. Like most of us with PCa, he died of something else. And he died knowing and feeling your love.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to dadzone43

Thank you ❤️

Sorry for the loss of your Dad. I know he will live on in your heart.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to rocket09

Thank you ❤️

So sorry for the loss of your father.As we all know it's tough to lose a loved one.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to nextphase

Thank you ❤️

What an inspiration he was. So very sorry for your loss of this wonderful soul.

Thank you ❤️

My sincere condolences to you and Family. Stay strong in his memories.

Haniff

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Haniff

Thank you ❤️

Sorry for your loss! May you feel the Lord's comforting hands by your side!

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Jamtu27

Thank you ❤️

Hey ann1919!

I am saddened to read of your father's death. It was unexpected and shocking. He did what the majority, indeed what few of us with the disease will do. He survived and it sounds as if he enjoyed quite a quality of life---for years! That took a lot of backbone. He had you to live for.

My father in law had much the same end in a hospital many years ago. Went in for a carotid "reaming" as Ted Kennedy had. Had a heart attack after the procedure but recovered and was doing well until --and it was thought he had aspirated --something--?

Your father was a wealthy man because he had a daughter such as you. You make many of us envious of him because of the relationship you and he had.

My sincere condolences.

Currumpaw

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Currumpaw

Thank you ❤️

Your dad was a warrior. So sorry for your lost. Hugs.❤️

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Sanpatricia

Thank you ❤️

Dear ann1919, Your Dad had such a smile... Right now he is smiling because he is having biscotti whenever he wants to.. At 90 he must have been a great guy to hang out with and I bet could tell many many stories. You will have a special place in heaven for being such a wonderful daughter... Bless you and all those who knew your Dad.

j-o-h-n Friday 12/20/2019 1:45 PM EST

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to j-o-h-n

Thank you ❤️I appreciate your kind words

By your expression of loss, I can say that your dad loved you as much. He remains in the light and you will sense his presence from time to time. It's a wondrous universe that awaits all of us.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to gleason9guy

Thank you❤️That’s very comforting to me

ann1919, we are never prepared for the end but your dad is now in a better place. You and your dad never gave up the fight ( something we all must do) and maybe someday🙏cancer will no longer take our loved ones.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to BadNews4me

Thank you❤️ I agree with you with all my heart

Just so sad to hear such news. May you and your family find your way forward making new memories, and remembering old memories.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to monte1111

Thank you ❤️

He had a nice long life, hope it was a good one.

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to tsim

He had a wonderful life❤️

.y prayers are w you and your family, God Bless You

Thank you

I am so so sorry. My father cut the grass before he was called in for a transfusion Sept. 1st. Every possible test was done twice to prove what they already knew. He had proatate cancer that metastasized. They kept giving him blood transfusions, constantly ignoring my request for a GI consult. Two separate hospitals with a shitton of credentials that wanted US, the family to believe that he didn't make red blood cells despite bone aspirations declaring that his marrow still functioned. His hemoglobin dropped again to 4 prior to discharge and after TWO back to back 10day hospital stays that did nothing (but wear him down), they sent him to endoscopy, where they ultimately suppressed his breathing by giving him too much propofol. {See Joan Rivers}

They found an upper GI bleed as I suspected and after a week of defending their inability to sustain him, decided it be best to place him in hospice and discontinue transfusions. I watched my father blink his eyes and struggle to breath the 8hours after he was placed in hospice. My story should be about the Lupron that stopped working, the new HRTmedication he was scheduled to start to slow his PSA that had reached into the thousands. He was in remarkable health otherwise but this hospital visit is what killed him and me. I'm tired of clinicians treating our fathers like their ages when WE KNOW there is more time on the clock. Yes, he has cancer but according to the autopsy the cancer isn't what killed him.

The hospital 'aquired' anoxic brain injury during endoscopy killed my father. Get an autopsy I say but most don't.

We don't get autopsies because we're conditioned to believe their life has a limit because of cancer.

The autopsy wasn't about his cancer rather hospital negligence probably because they knew he was 88 WITH cancer.

My heart goes out to you and your family. Please frame that picture☺

That’s horrible. I’m sorry for all you and your dad went through. I do wish I would of had an autopsy done. I plan to review the medical records.

That last picture is framed and on my mantel. It’s like he’s here. I sure wish he was & I could here one more joke or story he had to tell.

My mom had a bad outcome at a rehab facility in 2017. She became septic from a UTI and never recovered. It’s all bad, so much incompetence & I see it a lot being a RN x 35 years.

Hugs to you

So very sorry

ann1919
ann1919
in reply to Azores1

Thank you ❤️

My prayers and positive energy to u and the fam, wooowwwww 90 hungh, with that kinda time in ne proud your dad fought for it. No blame, no shame sis love ya dad's memory and know that he lives because YOU walk with his DNA. Stay strong as'e

He fought hard. Never complained or blamed. I regret it ended as it did for him(aspiration pneumonia from the small bowel series caused by the contrast dye gastrografin) but am thankful it was 4 plus days hospitalized and not longer.

Thank you for your kind words.I hope you are doing well. Peace be with you❤️

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