Sad news about my dad

I wrote about my dad a little bit ago. He had advanced prostate cancer. Sorry to report that He has sadly passed away on October 13th. He didn't want to do chemo and the hormone therapy stopped being as effective in march/April. I have a lot of what if's. It's hard, because they wanted him to try zytega and told him it was a chemo pill so he was turned off by it. He was very ill and was not living life anymore. He passed very peacefully without pain. It's sad he was young at 70. His wife is devasted. They were best friends. My heart breaks for her as well. He left each of the family members letters and had a diary of over 700 pages!!! He did explain that he was never quite right after all the radiation treatments from the original prostate cancer. They had a very short lived retirement in Florida on the chain of lakes. His boat was named the pipe dream. His dream was to live in Florida. Well keep up the fight to all of you out there. I hope that there will be a cure one day for this horrible disease. Thanks for reading.

67 Replies

  • I am so sorry for the loss of your Father. I am not sure why they call the zytiga and xtandi chemo pills as they are a form of hormone therapy, perhaps it has something to do with insurance paying for them.


  • You are in my thoughts.

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. At least he's at peace now, and not suffering.

    I am at the end part of my own journey, so I know what it's like.

    God bless you,


  • I'll keep you in my prayers too.

  • We are also praying for you Eric. Praying is the one thing that is not diluted if you expand your prayer list.

  • Eric, there isn't a day goes by when I don't think of you. Good Bless you.

  • But this isn't just about me, it's about Jls's father and about all of us and loved ones facing the last part of the journey with prostate cancer.

    God bless all of the guys suffering and their loved ones. My heart goest out to each and evevery one of us.

    May God help us get through this most difficult part of it.


  • Sorry for your loss. Your family are in our prayers.

  • I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss. It's so heartbreaking to lose someone we love so much. My thoughts and prayers and hugs.


  • it is very hard. They had such a great life together.

  • :'( I hope and pray for peace in the Mrs. soul someday and yours ♡

  • While this is bout your father and yourself, I follow closely in his footsteps in this llast part of the journey of life. For me, it wil come as a realease; the end of an old adventure, and the begiining of a new one. Some of us are fated to meet the end sooner than others, and while it's sad, it is the ultimate culmination of life, something that we will all hav to face.

    God bless you and your father, and may he rest in peace.


  • Thank you for your kind words.

  • You are such a brave man Eric. Thanks for all the words of wisdom from your experience.

  • I know the difficulties you will face ahead, dealing with your loss, but know that he made the best choice for him. My husband did Zytiga and did not gain any benefit but a great deal of side effects which took away his quality of life. The same with Xtandi. You will have lots of questions for awhile, but just know he felt it was the right decision for him. I am sure you are so grateful that he took the time to write those letters. What an amazingly thoughtful gift. You must have a wonderful family for him to take his final days to leave such a legacy. God bless.


  • Thank you. I have heard many mixed reviews on zytega. I am so greatfull for those letters.

  • I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad to this terrible illness jls. It's hard to hear this as my wife and I may be facing similar times. Our hearts and thoughts are with you and your family, bless you all.


  • Dear JLS12. Your post today and those of so many women have shamed me. I acknowledge that I spend so much of my time dealing with my PCa that I perhaps (no probably) tend to ignore the affect on those closest to me. What a lovely man your father was to engender such live in you and his wife and no doubt so many others. I can only add my thoughts and prayers for you and friends and family and also thank Charlean's reply for bringing tears to my eyes and hope to you family survivors of your father's passing. What is his name? I am a Catholic so he is still living in many ways not least in you. God bless.

  • His name is Bob. Thank you very much

  • I'm sorry for your loss. Honor your Dad, by getting all males in your life to get a PSA test.

  • Yes I agree!

  • Dear daughter,

    I remember very well your first post telling us about your fathers condition. From your expressions I could fathom the love you fostered for him in the deepest depth of your heart.

    What a great daughter ! and what a sad loss for her - father so beloved! Your deep feelings overwhelmed me being a father walking along the same path hand in hand with my own daughter.

    I extend my deepest sympathies to you and the bereaved family.

    Bless your affectionate father with eternal rest!

  • Thank you

  • So sorry for your loss, sending you and your mum a hug from the UK.

  • Very sorry to hear of your loss. Prayers!

  • Very sorry for your loss. I am so glad he provided letters to you all. That is a great legacy for you, other children and grandchildren. Blessings and prayers to you all in the name of Jesus.

  • Prayers to you and your family. Sorru for your loss.

  • So sorry to hear about your loss of your father. It seems as if we are now part of an extended family.

  • I am so sorry about your Dad - may he test on peace ❤️

  • my husband passed too last Wednesday ..the treatments effected his blood levels .we too retired to Florida to fish and boat ...Larry was just 67 ..

  • Extremely sorry to learn about the loss of your beloved husband at such a prime time in life.

    May he rest in peace! and you be stronger to continue life.

    Because this is life we are all facing.


  • I am so sorry. I feel your heartache.

  • I am so sorry for your loss.

  • I am so sorry to hear about Larry. I know that he tried so many things and dealt with miserable side effects like my husband. Did he ever do the Xofigo? That really did weaken my husband and his pain grew worse from that treatment, just prior to becoming paralyzed, the final blow. My husband was 68. It will seem rather surreal for awhile, since your life has been so devoted to his treatments and care, but now it is time to care for yourself. This won't be easy but it is important. I hope you have good family support. My prayers always include those of this group each night. God bless.


  • Yes he completed 3 xofigo injections -The 1st he had a terrible pain flare --the 2nd and 3rd he had only more fatigue and nausea they did help his pain ..But needed multiple blood transfusions because it destroyed his bone marrow but so did all the other chemo -he was told to stop all treatments but would cont with transfusions as needed -procrit -xgeva and lupron --but Larry was weak and

    fell -it started the ball rolling and he died from a brain hemorrhage ..Yes every minute I had was devoted to him -I never regret a minute -he depending on me and I on him .He died in Florida and is now in Mass --we are making arrangements -I keep looking for him..Like a birth of a baby -No one can prepare you for this loss..and yes I have a wonderful support system --two wonderful daughters who were with me and Larry thru his final days and I have 4 wonderful grand children whose world has changed forever ...thank you for your kind words and I pray for a treatment that works to rid this disease..

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be walking in your shoes soon. My husband has exhausted all treatments through Xofigo. . Now we just have to fight the pain and whatever else comes from this disease. My prayers are with you and your family as well as those fighting and their care givers. It is very hard to watch.


  • So sad to hear about your husband. Ex has done every usual treatment in the last 18 months and is now had 2 rounds of jevtana. The neulasta made him so sick after the first round, that he skipped it this week and is at more risk of neutropenia, which he already has. Radiation hurt him too...constant diarrhea and abdominal pain and pain actually worse. Horrible disease and virtually no reprieve since diagnosis😕

  • So very sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • Dear all,

    I have to rise again. This time, for the living amidst death.

    How sad it is to hear that some medical professionals misleading the poor souls!

    How can they call Zytiga ( Abiraterone ) or Xtandi ( Enzalutamide ) "chemo pills". Obviously, lot of people want to avoid chemo for fear of severe side effects.

    These are not at all chemo drugs. Chemo drugs are antimetabolites ( That interfere with the normal metabolic processes within the cells ) and they are also called "cytotoxic drugs ( killing the cells ).

    Zytiga is a strong androgen ( hormone ) biosyntesis inhibitor acting upon testicular, adrenal and prostatic tumor tissues. Therefore, is a kind of strong ADT.

    Xtandi contains an androgen receptor antagonist. The drug works by inhibiting androgen binding to androgen receptors of the cancer cells. That means the action supports the ADT in a much stronger blocking )

    Using both these drugs are considered as Third Line Hormone Therapy for the treatment of advanced castration resistant metastatic prostate cancer. Certainly not as "chemo pills" or chemotherapy.

    Both can be used before or after chemo therapy and the administration is much easier since they are in the tablet form and with easy to tolerate side effects as reported by many. However, the cost is not at all attractive.

    Deplorable indeed!- this new invention of "chemo pills"!


  • Yes. I was very upset and tried to tell my dad, but then he said it was so expensive and I don't think he wanted to spend a lot of money on something that might or might not work. It's such a shame

  • It took a while for me to write this little note to you. I would first like to send my condolences for your loss. I feel terribly sad that your father wouldn't take the Zytiga. It is unfortunate that it's referred to as a chemo drug, because it worked wonders with me. It may be my age 57, or I was just able to handle it. I see where some say the side effects are bad, I have none. I have several mets, and fortunately I have no pain. For some reason I think I'm one of the very lucky ones, the only issues I've had were radiation related, and still not over that yet.

    Again, my sincerest best wishes, Joe

  • Thank you. My father was not quite the same after his radiation either. Very tired and always needed a bathroom nearby. Every medication he took he had side effects. He tried casodex and had side effects. He was very sensitive to meds.

  • I'm so very sorry.. This disease is horrible.... xxxooo

  • So sorry for your loss and may he rest in peace. I respect his decision on treatment and don't know what I will do when the time comes.

  • I am deeply saddened to hear your news jls, my deepest condolences to you and all your family. It is a horrible disease and like other cancers I pray that one day a cure will come about. God Bless you

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he had a wonderful life. What a wonderful gift he left all of you. You meant a lot to him for him. My mom passed away at the age of 69. She chose to forego chemo, etc and to live out her remaining days her way. It was hard for me to understand at the time, but over time it has made more sense.

  • Prayers for you and the family.

  • So Sorry for your loss.. May his memory always serve as a blessing to you and yours

  • Hi JLS 5: My sincere condolences to you and your loved ones. It is so sad to hear and read of your father's demise with our nemesis PCancer. I am like your dad in that I have limits as to how much I will do to fight back. Hormones only suppress the cancer and are full of uncomfortable side effects. I am early Stage 3 cancer and am under the moniker of Doc rok. I am scheduling a surgery for my seminal vesicles and 18-20 lymph nodes to be removed in two weeks at Mayo. Of course I hope for a positive outcome and there are no guarantees. Once again, I, we, your dad "roll the dice" when treating our Cancers. Florida dreams cut short. I wish your Mom strength and hope to carry on. Sad news. Yes with the Moonshot going in the precision medicine initiative with Joe Biden and company, I hope that immunotherapy may be here within 5 years which is the goal of the effort. Doc Rok

  • Thank you. I wish you the best with your treatments and surgery.

  • Good luck with your surgery Doc Roc. I am in similar situation I think. I have a reacurring prostate cancer. But as of yet , not located . On Nov 21 st going for MRI 3 map with Dr Bush in Chattanooga,TN. Please keep in touch with me. I am at Let me know your status. Thanks

  • Tx buddy. Yes U sound like me with rising Psa, recurrent. I started with imaging also and then wound up at Mayo with my cancer localized in my seminal vesicles, at least I hope it is. No guarantees. Many of my cohorts have said just go on Hormones and get over it. I have a shot at the Cancer with the surgery, but what a price to pay for the attempt. It may not help at all and then I went through all of this shit for what? I took down your email address and I will want to write U. If u do not hear from me, write me at and keep in touch Sunny boy! doc

  • Thank U so much for your message. Much appreciated as I face my own Journey with this beast of a disease. Doc

  • Our deepest and most heartfelt sympathies to you and your entire family


  • I am very sorry for your loss.

  • I am sure that his "PIPE DREAMS" will come true in heaven. My sincere condolences to you and to all of his love ones.

    j-o-h-n Tuesday, 11/01/2016 6:41 PM EDT

  • So terribly sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers


  • He is at peace, sorry for your loss.

  • So very sorry to hear of your loss. Thought and prayers go out to you. Please try and ensure that all your male relatives and friends have their PSA tested regularly. Good Bless you.

  • My deepest sympathy and condolences to you and family.

  • So sorry for your loss. Ex is only 45 and will be entering hospice soon. He did try Xtandi and Zytiga but those drugs never worked and he stayed with each only a few months. He felt terrible: emotional and an increase in pain. I hope you and your family find peace in your father's decision to cease new treatments. I imagine adding new treatments when one is already suffering, a great burden.

  • That I suite young. Sorry

  • So sorry for your loss. I lost my husband on 5-21-16, he was just 60 years and did not want to die. He was my world and now I have to figure out how to live without him.

  • So sorry. My dad's wife is feeling the same way. It's very hard.

  • Those letters and journals...what a beautiful gift. May his words and our open arms warm you in this difficult time. Xoxo

  • Thank you everyone for your kind replies. It just doesn't seem possible that he's gone. He will surely be missed. His wife said they were souls mates.

  • Condolences to you, your mom and all other family members at the loss of your father and husband. I pray God's peace will cover your family and you all will find comfort as soon as possible.

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