To my friends from Malecare and those following me, there have been recent changes, and I haven't been posting anything, because I've had so much fatigue and I have some difficulty in navigating this new site.
Now I'm having extreme pain in my prostate, which couldn't be removed because of the involvement with bladder and rectum when I was originally diagnosed.
It appears that with the reduction in Xtandi last November and my orchiectomy, that my prostate has had a growth spurt, and I'm hoping that I can have radiation to shrink it again. But my radonc thinks that it would cause a stoma or hole to open up in the colon, and radiation may not be possible.
There is a strong possibility that I may require surgery to finally remove the prostate, but the bladder would also have to be removed, as well as a colostomy. My medonc has said that she thinks that I'm too weak for chemo, and yet the invasion of the bladder at diagnosis had already partially blocked both ureters and bladder outlet, so if it grows enough again, I could have complete blockage of the ureters.
I'm more than a little scared at the prospect of surgery, especially since I've become so weak and lost so much weight due to the side effects of the cancer meds. A bout with the flu in late Jan, early Feb, landed me in the hospital to be rehydrated with IV fluids and my weight to slip down to 119 pounds, and now I look like a stick man, my arms and legs are so skinny and ribs sticking out.
This coming Wed, the 23rd, I have an MRI scheduled and then a consult on the 25th (Good Friday) for the results---perhaps it's a good omen---good results on Good Friday.
My medonc increased the Xtandi dose back up to 120 mg from the minimal 80 mg, and my palliative nurse has doubled my morning dose of morphine, also, so I have diminished pain from one or both of them, and it's at least tolerable.
So much depends on the results of the MRI, and all of us know the anxiety of waiting for test results.
I couldn't even wait until Friday to post this about my current situation. I might end up in the hospital unexpectedly again at any time without access to a computer.
But I wanted my friends to know that I'm still here, and still fighting.