"Off-Label" Vyvanse CAUSING ADD?

[Working9-5ReallySux]

I have MS fatigue/cog fog (diagnosed in Aug 2009 refused those treatments cause I hate Rx drugs) and functioned the best I could for a few years. Then had a small relapse, the flu, some female health issues and general exhaustion (post viral fatigue) that lasted for months. Lost my job and ended up moving around like a zombie for awhile. Never wanted to do anything so everyone assumed I was depressed. I guess I was, but I termed it "situational depression" because I had a full life, 4 teens and I was only 29. I discussed with the most wonderful neurologist in the field my findings on Vyvanse helping with fatigue and cog fog when you have an autoimmune disease. He listened to me, and discussed with me the treatment. Said we would try it (30mg, same for 8 years). Upon taking it, I was back to my old self, albeit a lot more focused (obsessive, to be honest). I was able to clean my house again, have fun with my family again, just life in general got better. It could be argued this was the initial effects of the drug. However, that was 8 years ago and I've taken it every morning since.

Now, my problem; I don't believe I had ADD prior. I could focus on and finish a task easily. However after, I started a whole bunch of projects that I didn't finish before moving on to others. Some I finished tho, and always seemed to find things that could be improved upon. I've tried to find ways to organize myself and depend heavily on Excel and notes EVERYWHERE to do so. It was a problem for my boss who always had something to say about the way I did things, or giving me the 3rd degree on why I was doing something a certain way. Her complaint was that I was making more work for myself. I told her that's the way I had to do stuff to make stuff in my head "stick", I had to rework it MY way, in order for it to make sense. Then she started telling me how she was sure there were better things to do with my time. I asked her "better than learning the job? better than making sure I do it correctly when you're not here?" Needless to say, I began getting the REALLY cold shoulder after that and it started feeling like a toxic work environment, since she and I were the only ones in that office and there would be no one else for me to shift focus to. I turned in a notice after I had more medical issues, citing needing to focus on my health, I just left out the "mental" part lol. So, basically the way I have to do things now to keep my mind organized and be able to learn, plus the notes literally everywhere seems like it's going to be an issue regardless of where I go, because she started out great, even agreed with me that she had to write notes all the time too. I'm only comfortable working by myself because I cannot stand to have to find the words to explain to someone why I do things I do, and the answer "it just works for me" isn't good enough apparently.

Also, I used to have the ability to "vivid dream". Like my dreams would be so real, they were immediately burned into my brain. I can still give the smallest details of a vivid dream 30 years ago down to the smallest detail (even though my short term memory is now crap). I don't remember dreams anymore, much less vivid dream. My creativity no longer exists. I used to be able to draw things by looking at them (not very well, but good enough), now I can't get proportions right and it's not obsessing over perfection. I literally can't draw a straight line anymore.

While I don't remember any ADD symptoms BEFORE Vyvanse; the after seems obvious. Advice on managing a job, a boss, life in general while taking Vyvanse? I mean, It's gotten so hard to stick with one thing, until I enjoy it, and then I'm obsessive compulsive over it. If I get bored studying something I thought I wanted to learn, I'll take a break and never pick up the book again. I have no skills, even though I have an Associates in medical billing and coding. In my second year, I got the MS diagnosis and while I graduated on the dean's list, I failed the necessary cert by most of the questions. I need a job, but having to work Walmart delivery barely buys my meds and maintains my car. I want to learn coding because I'm pretty decent with computers/electronics, but can't finish even one of the courses I bought 4 years ago. I'm a mess and too old to have literally no direction in life or purpose, I'm 45 btw. If I could just become an eccentric artist, I would be happy, but there's that straight line thing. I've learned that spelling words I've always known has become a problem lately too. I'll think for 5 minutes on how to spell a word and STILL get it wrong. Maybe I need occupational therapy, but they refuse to train you in jobs where you work alone, I think. Thanks for any advice you can offer. I've never been diagnosed with ADD, but both of my sons were in school and my oldest daughter was just last year while in nursing school. Anyway, thanks in advance.