disturbing thoughts

[Chilelover]

I get these flashes of memories of things I’ve done in the past that were awkward, antisocial or just plain bad. These thoughts might be about things I’ve done 40 years ago! It seems I just remember the bad things in my life. The thoughts only last a few seconds, but may happen 10-15 times a day, each time lowering my baseline mood. Has anyone else suffer these problems? If so, what did you do that helped?

[empleat]

Yeah tell me about this shit... I am sorry this is happening to you, i can offer practical solutions! This is not for weak or anyone, but this channel helped me a lot: youtube.com/@YourHigherSelf... Watch bernardo kastrup, we are not responsible, it is ok to feel them and acknowledge them try to not give them labels and energy you are not your thoughts and don't identify with them. I suffered this like on trillionth billion totally alone and i was afraid to talk about it because i didn't want to be locked up somewhere while i tried just to get better... I had to overcome this all alone 8 years and it is yet 1 trillionth billionth of my issues... So if i can do it you can too, we have all this power inside us! You won't believe it, but it is true!

[GracePV]

Yes. It happened to me today. I told myself that no one is perfect. I don't have to be perfect, and that I forgive myself.

[empleat in reply to GracePV]

Yeah this was hard one since i did that my suffering was greatly reduced, still struggling with that. I suffer most insane perfectionism and OCPD. I have to control every permutation of every atom 10^800 to do like 1000* less than normal ppl...

[Mamamichl in reply to empleat]

My dad’s ocpd sounds like yours. It caused me extreme anxiety growing up. Now me and my kid are both ocpd too.

[empleat in reply to Mamamichl]

This site might help you it is for gifted, but it has OCPD, or you might try books, there is no cure, but there are solutions... giftofocpd.wordpress.com/ I had most OCPD anyone can possibly have i was like fucking calculator thing algorithm fucking fucking shit! And even i could get better so there is hope for everyone! I was obsessing over smallest problems i was so fucked i could even solve i don't know things that would take 30 minutes for normal ppl 8 years and i tried over 2000+ and because perfectionism and rigid patterns of thinking took me this long, was like falling through infinite tunnel! And insane despair! Everything can be overcome literally, sky is limits now i am fucking exhilarated euphoric!

[empleat in reply to Mamamichl]

I left you PMs!!!

[Mamamichl in reply to empleat]

Some of them are confusing me, but I replied. FYI I get emails for each pm you send and each reply on one of my comments.

[Tanuki-san]

I have. I had experienced child abuse as a child and it was suppressed for many years and then started to come back. I have been working on healing from this trauma over the past year and I am in a much better place now.

[empleat in reply to Tanuki-san]

David GOggins can't hurt me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAnnot recommend more audiobook from SEAL trainee saved my life!

[Mamamichl in reply to empleat]

Do you have a pic of this book by chance?!

[Mamamichl in reply to Tanuki-san]

My trauma was better because I moved 2k miles away from “home”. I moved back a year or so ago, and my parents (being the source of my childhood trauma) have tried to push their way back. I had to go no contact last year and have to re-heal again, but I’m so glad I know my coping strategies and had to be more assertive on my boundaries (even trying a protection order and blocking on phone, and even not allowing them my address).it’s good that I’m here though, because I’ve been able to advance my career immensely coming back due to similar communication.

[Colls47]

hey so glad to read others saying this . I have been getting this for two years now ( since diagnosis of ASD and adhd at 47 ). I get it as soon as I wake , and scares me makes me feel very vulnerable as the memories are of me being vulnerable and feeling alone . If I’m occupied or with people , they tend to be less , but if alone , or when just waking , it’s like my moms wants to scare me and remind me how weak o was in the past , telling me I’m still the same . 😕

[BLC89]

Hello Chilelover,I'm sorry you are being bombarded with yuck from the past, that sucks. As suggested forgiving yourself is a great first step. It cracks the seal so to speak.

What I recommend to clients is to see if there is a theme to the cluster of thoughts or if they are triggered by anything in particular.

If you know the triggers and they are something you can change, change what you can. If not changeable give yourself a mental and physical hug before the trigger (assuming it's foreseeable) and talk to yourself thru the trigger reminding yourself you can't change the past, it's over and done. Or sing a song to keep your mind on something else.

If it is a cluster with a theme, name the cluster like you would a song. When the thoughts start say to yourself "here comes the ____ thoughts" then continue the commentary like "here comes the ____ thoughts and, yep, there goes my mood down a notch. The ___ thoughts strike again!" Then keep doing a play by play but direct it out of the bad mood. Have a plan, talk like a DJ or sports announcer

Here comes ___ thoughts again, and oh boy what a shot to my mood. My mood is in the dirt! Oh but wait, what's this? Here comes Chilelover in for the save! Ladies and gentlemen it's another magnificent save by Chilelover!" Then do the crowd cheering sound 😁

It sounds totally silly and that is kind of the point. You are creating distance between you and the thoughts which loosens their grip on your mood.

If you are not the silly type you can take the more calm approach of saying to yourself or out loud, "I'm having the thought of a past experience (insert thought here) that is unchangeable. That was an uncomfortable experience, it is done and I am now far from it and safe"

It takes time to get the thoughts to subside and I'm sorry you are going thru that.

As you remind yourself that it is all in the past, unchangeable, and that you are safe it can reduce the impact on mood. Keep telling yourself that the past experience may have been downright awful but you have given all you're going to give to it. That past experience does not get to take anymore from you, you have paid that toll a long time ago.

I hope some of that helps. Hang in there.

BLC89

Full disclosure: I am an ADHD Parent Coach. I have been married to ADHD for nearly 30 years and raised two kids who have ADHD.

[wiggity_whack]

That happens to me all the time! I don't know what to do about it, but it does happen. I guess we just have to work on forgiving ourselves.

[Mamamichl]

my partner still gets these periodically. I do too, but less often. I’ve worked on self care, and meditation to help. Also, writing things out, and processing with a counselor helps. What helped me the most was forgiving myself for not knowing better and knowing I was in a place where I did the best I could helps. When we know better, we do better…. But that takes time.