Just a little pick me up

[cjnolet]

I've only been a member of this board for a week and I've got to say, I've all but deleted my account. A few of the stories I’ve seen on here are rather depressing (and of all the symptoms I can say in my life have resulted from my own case of ADHD, depression is not one of them).

I figured it would be worth mentioning the various individuals in history who are believed to have had ADHD.

Personally, as challenging as my own ADHD has been to my ability to socialize and be like others, I've come to realize that I'm different and that's just a fact. And when you learn to embrace that fact and move on with life, you can really begin to love what God has given you. In fact, my ruminations often remind me of why I need to stop giving such a shit what others think about me and just be myself!

I digress. If you were gifted with a powerful mind capable of obsessing and over-stimulating things that you love. You have been blessed with a mind that is capable of digging into thoughts that most normal people just aren't capable of having. Einstein was believe to have ADHD. So was Winston Churchill, Salvatore Dali, Walt Disney, Jim Carey.

I think what a lot of people struggle with is the difference between nature and nurture. I find a lot of people who have been blessed with ADHD but who have not formed the best habits throughout their lives. So they put a bad spin on a "disorder" by continuing down bad habits.

It always took me longer to pick things up as a kid. My mom always called me Leo the late bloomer but what I found was that when I when I finally got somehting, I got it more than the other kids around me. To get through school, I found that I had a special talent- when I could find some way to relate a subject to my life or make it interesting in ANY way possible, I could kick so much ass in the subject that I'd just as soon make it my career.

It pains me watching people on talk about how horrible they are and accept that like they are condemned to be that way forever. Change your lifestyle, change your thoughts, approach your life a little differently. Trust me, there is definitely a way to make your gift work to your advantage. I'm not saying it will be easy.

[ADHDmom0528]

Great post! I literally got diagnosed this week (I'm 26) and I'm still in shock/denial because of the stigma that surrounds the disorder. But, I've been engrossed with research learning about ADHD (shocking, right?) and there is just so much more to it than people realize. I didn't know about hyperfocusing and how creative those with ADHD can me. Then, I looked back on my life and remembered I used to be a great artist and that I had written 3 long novels by my senior year of high school. How many people can say that? Plus...apparently Justin Timberlake has ADHD. If that's not cool, I don't know what is

[cjnolet in reply to ADHDmom0528]

That is totally awesome! And it shows that you followed through with somethjng, which is something I know most therapists seem to label ADHDers as not being able to do.

I’m watching my 9 year old get excited about creative writing right now. He’s about to go through the ADHD diagnosis process and I’m actually kind of proud to know he might have a brain like mine.

Have you ever thought about publishing your work or at least putting it on the internet somewhere for others to enjoy?

[happy_kitty]

I totally agree! I've only been here a few days myself but I have also noticed a lot of negative posts. This post was neat, it sparked a google search of famous people with ADHD. Olympic medalist Michael Phelps, the actor who played Peter on 'The Brady Bunch' Christopher Knight, and the comedian and judge on America's Got Talent Howie Mandel are a few that I found.

I try to embrace my ADHD. I went off-meds about a year and a half ago, and I've been trying to learn techniques to use my ADHD to my advantage. I have found some, such as listening to music to help me concentrate and frequent exercise as an energy outlet. If you have any tips they would be much appreciated.

[cjnolet in reply to happy_kitty]

Lol. I’m the guy at work (I’m a data scientist) who has to make frequent trips to the tea pot throughout the day when I get distracted. Sometimes I feel like I did in elementary school with the pencil sharpener.

Also, I seem to go back and forth in music. I got really into deep house music for some time and then classical music. Now I listen to mostly isochronic tones just to drown out the noise of people around me without being distracting.

Have you gotten into Mindfullness at all? I need to start getting back into it more. My therapist had me meditating frequently and it was really helping with anxiety and grounding. I was using an app called Headspace.

[happy_kitty in reply to cjnolet]

I know what you mean about the music. I have phases where I go back and forth between Christian music, modern acapella, and whatever else I might be interested in at the time. I do find music without lyrics best to help me concentrate when reading or writing. I also totally get the frequent breaks, for me, it's usually to go to the bathroom, kinda weird I know but it's a quiet place where I can gather my thoughts. I checked out that app you mentioned and it looks really neat. Thanks for the suggestion! Happy Easter!

[Hidden]

Yes, nurture is a significant aspect. I grew up in a family with a mother who has undiagnosed borderline personality disorder, wildly spreading vitriol to my brother and I faster than we could keep up.

[ADHDmom0528 in reply to Hidden]

OMG same about the mother! My aunt also has BPD.

[cjnolet in reply to Hidden]

Same here. Mother with BPD from being raised by her mother with manic depression. In my case, add a toxic abusive older half sister.

It is what we make of it, I suppose.

Im certainly not implying that we don’t all have bad days and that being different doesn’t suck sometimes. I guess I’m tryjng to make the point that perspective can have a lot to do with how you decide to deal with it.

I was only recently re-diagnosed after having been diagnosed with ADHD as a child and then misdiagnosed with bipolar as a teenager. Until recently, I had not touched a medication in 16 years and I’ve led what many would call a pretty successful life thus far.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t until my re-diagnosis that I immediately started labeling myself again and the negativity started settling in.

Then I had to step back and remind myself “wait a minute, dude, you actually kind of kick ass. U aren’t a failure at all. There’s no reason you need to be telling yourself you are a piece of crap just because you think differently than most others”

It’s that type of thinking that’s gotten me as far as I’ve gotten in life and it’s that type of thinking that I’m going to choose to continue following.

[Lovinit]

Thanks for the up lifting comment. I have had and still do have struggles. But I’m trying. And sometimes when I have I a bad day i feel a little better to vent get it off my chest and have someone to give me support. Also when I have good days I want to share that too. I feel like where here because we want help we want to improve. It take time and effort.

[cjnolet in reply to Lovinit]

Oh trust me. I’ll never know what it feels like to have a normal conversation with people. I’m all over the place.

Either I don’t remember some trivial piece of information that I should know from elementary school or I’m takkng too fast. I might have just impulsively blurted something out without thinking.

What makes it all okay, though, is that I try to be kind, courteous, and accepting of others and find that they generally overlook my social flaws. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had my friends joke about “corey’isms”. Those things I say without thinking that weren’t necessarily meant to be funny.

All in all, I wouldn’t trade my creative mind for a normal brain any day. Struggles and all. There’s a certain beauty in the lens we get to see the world through. As Henry Ford said (another thought to have ADHD), “when the world seems against you, remember an airplane takes off agains the wind, not with it”

[Lovinit in reply to cjnolet]

I do agree, I’ve always liked spending time with myself. It does feel lonely too and it just would be nice if there where more people in the word who where like me. Life would be a party and not so lonely for me. It would be very entertaining

[BusyMomTeacher in reply to Lovinit]

I agree with you

[cuaster]

Hello!

Your post makes some wonderful points.

But I would like to take a moment to clarify something regarding depression. Depression is a mental health condition, and it does not happen Because of ADHD, although the behaviors that can manifest due to the condition can exacerbate symptoms. Depression and it’s sometimes partner anxiety are common co-existing conditions with ADHD and occur because of a brain chemical imbalance that requires treatment. Although I’m sure you didn’t mean it that way, your first statements in your post may cause others who struggle with depression to feel shame for posting their struggles on this forum.

Although I do not struggle with depression, I do grapple with anxiety, and I appreciate the honesty that others express in their posts. There can indeed be some amazing things about having ADHD, but let’s face it, sometimes ADHD can also suck, and it’s good to have a place to go to share the bad and the downright ugly as well as the good and the awesome. This is a great community where people can share words of support and advice to others who struggle, as well as share in the joy of those who have overcome and succeeded, no matter how simple that success might be.

I hope you do not take offense to my reply, but I feel strongly about reaching out to and defending those who might be feeling ashamed about sharing their struggles right now.

[cjnolet in reply to cuaster]

I totally appreciate the honesty!

Likewise, my post was meant as a cheerful pick me up and not meant to shame anyone. It pained me seeing everyone so hard on themselves, (including myself). My point is certainly not to shame people for sharing their struggles, but on the contrary- people shouldn’t be ashamed of having what they have and should accept it for what it is and understand that there’s a gift in there.

Booker T Washington once said “Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.”

[BusyMomTeacher in reply to cuaster]

Yes, a lot of people are on here because of struggles. We are trying to bounce ideas off one another. It's a talking forum. The 1st comments of her post probably will hurt a few. I too, have anxiety and openly talk about that here, so that I dont constantly bother my husband and kids.

[Elphaba-]

LOVE this! Thank you so much for sharing! When I was younger, my ADHD manifested in some rebellious behavior, but I greatly excelled in sports and English, as well as language. I remember the teachers being so baffled, because I was in the “superior percentile” for English, and in the very bottom percentile for math. The difference was huge! I am happy to say today that my chosen career of being a professional actor has been a great outlet for my ADHD, probably just like Jim Carey! I have really learned to embrace what makes me unique, even if it does get lonely at times. I also have a wonderful fiancé who cherishes my quirks! Medication and going to a class about managing ADHD once a week for over a year now has really helped manage symptoms. Exercise is essential, too! Wishing you all the best!

[Hidden]

wish you all happiness!!

[amazingrace]

Contrary to habit, I'm writing this before reading the other responses. I really enjoyed reading your comment, cjnolet! I appreciate the positive spin you put on ADD. That is the perspective I try to keep but it's not always easy. ADD itself for me was a bummer for my whole life, but when I finally got diagnosed and on meds at age 63, it changed everything. Since then I've had a huge improvement in my ability to focus on my many creative projects and I have been much happier in my life (with a nod to my excellent therapists).

Aceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has been very helpful for me and I highly recommend it.

[Lovinit]

When I was a kid, I was so excited for life and always wanted to do so much with my life but I guess I wasn’t good at figuring out how to make theses dreams become real. Instead I was always being yelled at by my mom telling me “you can’t do anything right! What’s the matter with you!” “I’m not paying for you to go to art school. I’ll pay for your school/community college but I’m not paying so you can go to art school.”

You know what, from being put down since a little girl from my mother. I wanted my mom to be proud of me but she wasn’t and I grew up never succeeding in having the life I wanted, instead I got stuck with all the emotional damage, all the negative things my mom said about me a million times, I became broken I believed I was all those things, anywho it affected me a lot. But know I’m 37, I really need to stop playing victim, my life, my choices, and I wish I let what happened when I was younger go

[cjnolet in reply to Lovinit]

I go through this struggle as well. Except that it was my dad who did much of the damage”Corey, normal people don’t do that” “kids don’t normally act that way Corey, don’t you understand that?”

You should take a look at the book “the four agreements”. It’s a really short read- I read it in a day. At the beginning of the book the author talks about the agreements that we make with ourselves throughout our lives. Unfortunately, many of those agreements weren’t made willingly and they were made before we were old enough to comprehend them. Things like what you are saying became agreements you made with yourself when you were very young But now that you are an adult you have the power to change those agreements and make new ones with yourself, especially now that you see how you don’t actually agree with them and you know better.

It’s not always our parents fault either, because they had the same or similar agreements forced on them by their ancestors. The reality is, by the time we are finally old enough to make our own agreements, we have to spend a lot of time casting away those that have been handed to us that we never should have agreed to. The reality is that we have 1 life in which to have a purpose, enjoy the experience, and possibly raise another generation. This 4 agreements view of the world is causing me to reevaluate everything from my parenting to my professional and love life to my social life. Why do we spend so much time fitting into a mold that society and our family has forced upon us? Brene brown even said herself (in a translation of a famous maya angelou quote) that to really belong means “braving the wilderness” and being who you really are- genuine to yourself.

I don’t think you are broken. In fact I would dare say that I’m going through a similar experience as you. I’m realizing that I can have my own perception of the world. My dad is dead now and I did love him, for what it’s worth. He did work hard to try to raise me the best he knew how, and with that perception I’m able to look at it positively and thank him for the effort rather than condemn him for the damage. In the end we are all humans of perfection and many of us end up raising more imperfect humans. That’s just life.

Hope this helps!

[Lovinit in reply to cjnolet]

Thank you, and I do love my mom and I know she love me and only wanted the best for me, for her it was to marry a good man who will take care of you