insight is welcomed.. pls!

[Allisonleigh]

Hello, my name is Allison and I am 51 years old. I am reaching out because I am facing a very tough situation and I am in desperate need of help. In 2017, I experienced three devastating deaths, including my mother and two other family members who were my support system. It was a long and difficult process of healing and recovery, but I was able to stand up and live again. I even found a job that I absolutely loved and it gave me a sense of purpose. However, on Oct 14, 2022, everything came crashing down when my home caught fire. The worst part was that I was left alone to handle the situation with a friend and the remaining family members, including my brother who has control over the inherited home. Unfortunately, instead of offering support, he responded with emotional abuse. I cannot go into details, but 3 lawyers and others have confirmed that I have been wronged and I need to take action now. My brother deeded the entire house to me, the insurance company won’t speak to me because I’m not the policy holder. And the run around is too much to handle. I am struggling to cope with the loss of my home, the current obstacles, and the previous losses. My mind is overwhelmed and I cannot even begin to plan a strategy to move forward. I have reached out to organizations, but I have been turned away because I am not homeless, on drugs, or in an abusive relationship. Another place told me that I look healthy, I’m not asking for money or a place to lay my head and that they are counselors, not contractors. I was at a loss for words and left feeling defeated. I am stuck and I feel like I am losing everything. I am in need of guidance and support. Can anyone offer any input or perspective on my situation? I am currently struggling financially, which adds to the difficulty of this situation. Thank you for taking the time to listen.

[STEM_Dad]

You've definitely been through a lot, and lost a lot.

Thanks for being open enough to share about your struggles and your troubles here.

You definitely need a lawyer's help with the house situation and dealing with your brother's decisions. I wouldn't even know how to begin with a situation like that. - Does your brother know about the issue you're experiencing with the insurance company? Is he the policy holder? If so, could he add you to the policy, to enable you to deal with the house matter?

Getting some sort of mental health care is critical when you are going through so much struggle. I know that it can be hard to get the help we need sometimes.

(My own struggles are nowhere near the level that you're dealing with, and I'm realizing that I need to go back to counseling, because of an issue that happened yesterday. It should have been a small matter that I could have shrugged off...but in my mind it became much bigger.)

The best advice that I can give is to say to keep trying, don't give up on yourself. Maybe go back to those that you went to for support, who couldn't help you, and ask if they know of any other support organizations that you could try to get help from. - They might have a list of alternative support options that you can try.

I was reminded recently how journaling can help with processing emotions. I think that I need to do this about my work struggles. I'm suggesting that you give it a try, too. It might not give you any answers, but getting the words out might help you process your feelings, which might help relieve some of the feelings of overwhelm. - It's not a replacement for therapy, but it's something that is within your power to do. (Almost every time I hear about this type of journaling, the recommendation is to write by hand. I'm a computer geek, so I normally go to a screen to do my writing, but there's some reason that writing by hand is more effective.)

I hope that you are able to improve your situation. I wish that I could give you some more helpful suggestions. I hope that someone else here might have something to add.

[Quincie]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. The only advice i can offer is to sort out your grief from what's happened vs figuring out a strategy to improve your situation. No wonder you are feeling overwhelmed! If your employee offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) you can get a few sessions of free counselling. This is to give you a safe place to manage your emotions & collect your thoughts. Having a bit of emotional support w/ a neutral 3rd party helps you to think clearly & prevents you overwhelming your friend w/ your needs - as they want to help but can only do so much. 🙏 that a solution is found.

[Hidden]

You poor thing! My first advice would simply be: Breathe. In and out. Keep going. You can and will get through this. Any one of the things you've gone through would be tough by themselves, but you've been hit with an avalanche. I hope that you can be gentle with yourself. Find some little thing that makes you happy and do it every day.

I agree with STEM_Dad, journaling is a great outlet for tough feelings. Somehow, putting them to paper makes them feel a little more manageable. Counseling adn therapy are great, if you can get them. Maybe you could find a local social club to surround yourself with some positive support.

It sounds like now is a good time to start making lists of what you need, what you need to do, and what you have. You've been deeded a house. That's a good thing. You need money. That makes things tough. Can you rent one of the rooms in the house to make some money? Or maybe rent out the whole house and live someplace smaller?

Take baby steps and be kind to yourself.

[Allisonleigh]

hi guys.. I do have a few things to say in regards to what you all have written.. right now I’m short on my time, did not want to leave nothing being said. I’m grateful and I’m abundantly thankful!!