I have had depressive episodes on and off over my entire life. I’m never manic though, and I’m not in any way bipolar. The depression tends to last a day or two, 4-5 days at most. Then I bounce back and carry on. I’m usually “blue” and pessimistic. I did have post-partum depression after 2 of my 5 pregnancies, and I had a long stint about 5 months long in university (back in the mid-90’s).
Last September, I started getting lower and lower and more and more tired and listless. I stopped leaving the house because I was afraid to run into anyone and start randomly crying Eventually, I went to my doctor and asked for help
We tried several of the usual non-medical treatments. Finally he put me on Wellbutrin (I’m generally averse to medication). After several dose adjustments and only minimal improvement, I asked for a referral to a psychiatrist (referrals are required here)
When I got to see the psychiatrist, we went over my family history and my medical and psychological history and I did a bunch of tests to check for memory issues and whatever. It took about 5 hours for the total of what was done.
His final diagnosis was ADHD that had been extremely well managed for decades, but that the house of cards had collapsed (some traumas that year). He felt that dealing with the ADHD would allow me to get my feet back under me. That was 4 months ago.
Here, the psychiatrist diagnoses, suggests treatment and then the family doctor takes over again.
So, after multiple trials, we have a medication that is tolerated and might work. Except… the depression and resulting social anxiety are now so bad that I don’t leave the house other than to drive my kids (teens) to work and school. I won’t even go for a walk. I cry all the time. Life feels pointless.
My partner left me and found a new girlfriend (I’m divorced - this was a 5yr boyfriend) because he couldn’t cope with it anymore.
My family doctor has put me on a 12-16 week leave of absence from work because I stopped being able to go.
I’ve been to my therapist three times in six months - because I might run into someone and it involves planning to go. My therapist tells me that I just have to “put yourself out there and understand that everyone is nervous meeting new people”.
I’m FINALLY trying a series of antidepressants, but none seem to agree with my brain (or, I wonder if they react with the ADHD meds). Honestly, I don’t care about treating the ADHD. I’ve lived with it for decades. It’s part of who I am. Yeah it’s caused me every single one of the standard issues (I have the combined presentation). But whatever. Being better managed would be great. But none of it matters if the depression and anxiety keep me from living.
To see the psychiatrist again involves a new referral. And a new diagnosis. And I almost wish that I had never been diagnosed with ADHD in the first place.
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JulBean
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It definitely helps to treat is the most severe issues first, to get them to a point of stability, before addressing the less severe issues.That's like the approach in an emergency room... First, make sure the patient is breathing and check for a pulse, then assess how they are injured or ailing, then proceed to less critical issues. It's the triage approach.
(I use a similar order in tech support..and sometimes, the first thing that I need to do is help the person calm down, then we can move on to their tech issues.)
Yes, if the depression and anxiety are severe, then you need to get to a point of stability with those, before ADHD treatment should be treated.
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When I was first diagnosed with ADHD, I was simultaneously diagnosed with anxiety. Both my mental health counselor and my doctor started treating the anxiety first. After a month on an SSRI (and at that point, 8 sessions of counseling over a 10 week period), my anxiety had finally come down enough that I was ready to start on ADHD medication.
The anxiety had magnified the severity of my ADHD, so bringing the anxiety down first also helped begin my ADHD treatment.
Then, treating my ADHD effectively with medication also helped to bring down my anxiety a bit more.
Neither the anxiety nor the ADHD go completely away. They are both reduced from what they used to be, and I'm grateful for that.
I hope that your treatment goes well, that you get adequate relief from the depression and anxiety to help your quality of life to improve substantially. And maybe good treatment for your ADHD will follow.
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I'm still a mess.
I feel a lot better in many ways, but I still struggle with things like: cleaning house, paying bills on time, worrying about all kinds of things like the condition of my car, my long drive to work, whether I'll ever afford to go back to school, and a lot of fears of the future.
I'm also divorced, and I'm afraid to get into a new relationship, even though I often feel like I want to be in one. (It's complicated by the fact that I still love my ex-wife, even though she left me for someone else, but would be conflicted if she wanted to get back together because she hurt me so deeply.)
Deal with your PTSD that has led to the depression and anxiety. How can no psychiatrist see this? ADHD is something you have lived with forever, so you are so right about the way you are thinking. Are you able to get a new psychiatrist where you are? Can you get away from your doctor? I might recommend reading the book The Body Keeps the Score. At the very least, this book will help you identify what's going on and assist you with asking your doctors the right questions to get your the treatment you need.
We often see situations like yours in this group and it's horrible to be treated this way. I wish you luck.
Hey , I so want to type a long reply to this . I haven’t got time at the moment , but I get this . Totally . I was diagnosed two or so years ago when 47. My life fell to sh*t after losses of parents kids getting older fall out with my two elder siblings , and a quick few failed attempts at adhd meds that made me so so anxious and low I couldn’t bare it . I’m fed up with it all .At least at some point you have a job to return to . I don’t , and desperate need to as wife’s wages are not enough , so the pressure and anxiety builds daily . Juts want to say I get you . Totally
I’m quite sure that I only have my job to return to because it’s not legal to fire me based on mental health. My employer would also have to pay me quite a lot of severance pay. When I went on my last leave he suggested that I might use the time to look for another career that made me happier. He’s already actively looking for someone to replace me “temporarily”. My doctor said to take a 6-12 week leave. But when I told my employer that he said “let’s do 4 months because it’s easier to find someone for a longer period, plus it gives you extra time to feel better.” I’m trying not to focus on finding another job yet …
It’s that inability to adjust to serious changes in our lives that throws everything in the toilet, according to the psychiatrist who diagnosed me.
I’m sure we will. I think or almost guarantee society has set people up like us to either fail or burn out in the process . I volunteer at oxfam every morning , just doing their chasing up etc ( as I trained in bookkeeping and accountancy for 2 years while caring for my father , then when I set up own business , I couldn’t cope with the self doubt and double checking ) so had to shut it down after a year , , anyway, even when doing their cashing up , my ego is screaming I’m a failure , look what I’m doing . Had it so ingrained into me I should be working should be supporting family should be successful , and it’s that such negative talk that is the real doomsday for me . It’s constant . Unless I feel I have a purpose , I’m nothing .
My last ten year job I was bullied out of by an over zealous new female manager , who when I returned from paternity for my first son after he was in intensive care , she dragged me into an office and basically did what all my school teachers used to do , and told me all the things she had heard about me from other managers , had me In tears , and I walked out . After a year of solicitors , they paid out. Then it happened again with a big bank with a black horse , another bulky girl manager gave me a very very hard time ( felt threatened by me apparently ) and with the union , I took them to task and the paid out again . Left me feeling wow, what is wrong with me ? Why won’t I let people treat me like dirt ??? But apparently that’s the ASD and maybe the adhd sense of right ( wasn’t diagnosed at that point )
Couple of jobs since , but last few years since mum died in 21 ( which has made me a vulnerable insecure bloke like I never knew ), I’ve just bee volunteering and trying to get my head Round how I find me and re build me . And I’m struggling . It’s hard . Hardest I’ve known . And you know all this too I dare say .
I think I’m focusing on work too much , daily on my mind , but daily no answer . It’s as if I’m burned out, but unless someone tells me that , I won’t believe it …. If that makes sense .
Don’t think about work . Let them say or do what they want to . You have been advised bu the dr what to do , so do that . Now is not the time to make any decision etc . Yes I’m sure we will get there , where ever there is ?!!
It looks like you have several layers to adress in your situation : treat depression, social phobia and ADHD.
I don't know how much you can afford to pay for a doctor. But if you can try this doctor : Dr Jorge Mota Pereira. He works from Portugal but the appointments are online ( Facebook , whatsapp). He sees people from allover the place and he helped me a lot. He is a wizard with medication and has an incredible intuition when it comes to the right diagnosis.Try reaching out to him. Submit all you have on your diagnoses and current medication. Explain what you said here.
I am so saddened by your story. Don’t give up, you are not alone and you deserve so much more in life. If I understood correctly, it sounds like you currently are on an antidepressant, but it’s not providing the help you need. I can tell you that adding Vraylar to my standard depression med has made a huge difference for me. Perhaps you could make an appt with your Dr to see if you could try that. It’s awful to feel low (I know low is putting it mildly). Please find some encouragement in this. You are worth it!!
What you eat plays a great deal into depression and anxiety. You have to eat well or else it will make you sick. Eating well means you cook your own food. Stay away from pre-made frozen meals. Stay away from fast food. Stay away from alcohol. Try to exercise every day. A 20 minute walk would do you real good. Mineral deficiency can cause depression and anxiety. Celtic salt will help put the minerals back into your diet. You can get it from Amazon or your grocery store. Wellbutrin causes severe anxiety for me . I cannot take the normal dose of it. I take small amounts of it and supplement with mushroom supplements. Mushroom supplements help me tremendously. I also take a probiotic for mood. They make probiotics that increase seratonin. So you would look for the one that specifically say it’s for moods.
Yes. This has been my “normal” way of doing things for most of my 55 years. Unfortunately, I hit a pothole last year that meant that even my normal routine was not enough (whole foods, no alcohol, no drugs, exercise, daily outdoor activities, full complement of high-quality supplements, almost no red meat, yoga, no television, etc.). I didn’t take almost any medications for anything most of my life
I have had simmering depression for my entire life. I have also had ADHD for my entire life. I have “managed” them both with what you describe.
My husband left me 8 years ago. He was abusive and unstable. He was having a long-term affair that I had willingly overlooked (to protect the children). We have 5 children and I became sole caregiver for them. We’ve been “negotiating” the divorce for 8 years. He’s not cooperative. Then, 4 years ago, I was diagnosed with a hereditary autoimmune disease. Unfortunately, it’s genetic. I had managed it for most of my life, always knowing it was in the background. I believe that the hormone changes of premenopause triggered it to flare beyond my control. And then came the pandemic. And then my younger sister was hit with her own version of the familial autoimmune disease. It essentially incapacitated her. And then my mother was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer (she’d been in remission) and I was the one needed to care for her through until her death last summer. And then my boyfriend/long time friend & companion bailed because it was all more than he could handle. And I hit the pothole in the road. I can’t seem to pull myself out of this one with any of the usual tools in my backpack.
I will return to my self-care routine once I get back to level ground. I just can’t get there myself yet. I’m currently only eating one meal a day - and it’s a giant blended whole foods smoothie spread out over several hours. No food holds any appeal to me at all. I have no appetite and eating itself takes too much energy.
Thank you for your insight. I will get back there.
Well I can see why you are having trouble right now, you have had a lot of issues lately. That’s enough for anyone to get depressed even without adhd. I think you will pull through. Prayers
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