Triple Whammy

[SushiMilo]

My daughter, 22, has experienced some significant trauma in the last few years. She is currently struggling with PTSD, depression and anxiety against the backdrop of ADHD. She feels that her mind is extra foggy, her time management skills have deteriorated, she has a hard time getting out of bed and functioning in general. She feels that the various practitioners (Doctor, therapist) don't really understand the ADHD mind and how depression and anxiety may manifest differently in patients with ADHD. She is stuck and I am stuck as her mother. Any tips, ideas, supportive words?

[BlessedLady]

Most medications used to treat depression, anxiety and PTSD have the side effects you mentioned. Has she started a new medication or had the dosage changed on a medication for those symptoms? Does she take a stimulate for her ADHD ?

[SushiMilo in reply to BlessedLady]

She takes 2 antidepressants, 1 anti anxiety med and Adderall was just added.

[BlessedLady in reply to SushiMilo]

Stimulates can make some symptoms worse in some drugs. She needs to talk with her pharmacist. Most doctors are not aware of all of the side or how other drugs can interact. Doctors usually have knowledge of life threatening side effects but that's it

[SushiMilo in reply to BlessedLady]

Thank you!

[Loutysonsmith]

Hi SushiMilo,

I'm a 57 year old woman with ADHD and ADD living in the UK. I also have a lot of experience supporting neurodivergent people, as well as myself of course.

Depression and anxiety are common side effects of ADHD, as one friend said to me once 'ADHD rarely travels alone'. I have suffered terribly debilitating, long periods of depression over the years and they have included what I'd call a deterioration/regression in my skills and ability to function for a time.

1) Over the past 3 years, I've changed my understanding of these periods of non functioning and now understand them to be ADHD and ASD 'burnout' which results in what you have described in your daughter. I'd urge you to look for good information on the Internet about this type of burnout, I have found the work of Viv Dawes, an advocate, to be very accurate. She also has detailed advice and guidance on her website which is reasonably priced and can be downloaded. Everything she has is valid for ADHD as well as ASD.

I would really recommend her work.

2) I'd also urge you to subscribe for free to Additude Magazine, an incredible online resource which promotes excellent resources for people - including parents/carers - who need to support their children, even if their children are adults themselves.

You don't mention how old your daughter is, but you should probably read up on how hormones are incredibly important when understanding ADHD in females. If you search within the Additide Magazine you will find information about this, in fact the magazine produced some of the research findings,themselves. I took part in that research and it was a game changer in terms of realising the impact of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone on functionality in females.

The longest and most traumatic period of burnout in my life has been perimenopause and menopause, which is a very common thing in females with ADHD. I spent 2022 and 2023 being looked after by my husband (shout out to my great love) when I simply stopped functioning, couldn't work, couldn't even speak most of the time. It's only now, late 2024 and early 2025 that I have regained my brain to some extent as you can see by my being able to write this.

3) If you don't feel you understand the background of how ADHD works and how difficult it can be, seek out the work of Professor Russell Barkeley who is a leading researcher and behavioural scientist in the field of neurodivergence and ADHD in particular.

Doctors and practitioners cannot and should not be allowed to ignore the massive amount of research papers which exist about the difficulties faced by ADHD individuals - if you Google 'ADHD research' and then press the 'scholar' function, it will return hundreds of thousands of papers, no exaggeration. You, meanwhile are faced with the daily - hourly sometimes - challenges of figuring out what to do to help your daughter.

Your first thing is to arm yourself with the relevant information and you will likely find that you know more than some of the doctors and therapists.

I am a good and bad advert for ADHD. I am clever and educated, interested in art and people and fashion, experienced in working with all manner of people professionally, a loving sister, wife and friend. I also have 40 years experience of clinical depression, disabling anxiety and long periods of time off work through my conditions. Nobody could understand it when I was a teen and in my 20's, not even my parents. Nobody could ever figure out why this seemingly very capable and funny person was struggling so much with basic things.

You'll need to educate your daughter as you learn yourself as that's the single most important thing, that she accepts and understands so she can look after herself in the future.

Louise xxx

[SushiMilo in reply to Loutysonsmith]

Thank you!

[Loutysonsmith]

Sorry Sushi Milo, I can see you've said your daughter is 22. Everything I've said still stands, even with the PTSD in the mix. Louise

[SushiMilo in reply to Loutysonsmith]

Thx

[Loutysonsmith]

amazon.co.uk/Neurodivergent...

This workbook is really good SushiMilo, great practical things to consider. Louise

[AylaT]

When I had burnout really bad (from PTSD and CPTSD from recent trauma and childhood trauma respectively) I couldn't function for 5 years or so... I had just gotten an engineering degree! Without meds no less (may have contributed). I needed to go to therapy (integrative for the PTSD (from the loss of my closest family member), Somatic after that for residual stuff and to learn that strategy) and land in my body and mind again. I slept a lot, ate a lot, drank too much, smoked a lot of pot, and was kind of bummed out for years. Drinking and smoking, in retrospect, not helpful. Sleeping and eating may have been the thing that helped me have the building blocks for brain repair - Walking! I walked a lot. That really helped. I mean my life really was dumbed down for a bit. I guess I just needed that period of low expectations. I did work and that helped too. On a pot farm. Actually not always easy work. Mentally pretty easy. I think my recovery could have been condensed had I been more strategic about health- not drinking, not smoking much pot. Oh well. I hope it's easier for your daughter in this season of recovery and reset. It's OK to go through down periods and it takes healthy habits, positivity, integration and a mix of work and rest to get back out. Is she prioritizing her recovery from the PTSD? I slept a LOT while my brain was processing trauma. It helps to take it seriously and just commit to figuring out feeling better. Best wishes to you and her.

[SushiMilo in reply to AylaT]

Thank you!

[Mamamichl]

thank you for sharing. There are a lot of aspects going on here. My brain fog is getting worse as I get older (41 rn). Also, as our hormones change as women, so does our adhd symptoms. There is a fb messenger group for that.

Also, I learned that you can look for professionals online that cover your conditions and find one that specializes in all of those conditions. It took me 4 hours to find one, but she has been a godsend for me. All medical professionals need synopsis and lists of specialties online these days. Hope this helps. Zen hugs 🫂

[SushiMilo in reply to Mamamichl]

Thanks so much!

[Mamamichl in reply to SushiMilo]

Anytime! 😊

[ChasingFocus76 in reply to Mamamichl]

Hi there,Could you please share the link to the Facebook group? I'm 49 and have been silently struggling with ADHD. It's been challenging, and it's starting to negatively impact my relationship. I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much.

[Mamamichl in reply to ChasingFocus76]

here. The number messenger groups are surprising.

m.facebook.com/groups/addit...

[ChasingFocus76 in reply to Mamamichl]

Thx ☺️

[heycomigo]

Hi I've been through this exactly myself!

I understand you're feeling stuck and worried about your daughter. The most important step right now is to find integrated care for her - this means a provider who can address her ADHD, PTSD, depression, and anxiety together.

additudemag.com/collaborati...

To start, try searching online for: "integrated behavioral health care providers near me" or "collaborative care for ADHD and PTSD [your city/state]"

This should help you find specialists who can provide the comprehensive care your daughter needs.

Remember, you're doing a great job supporting her through this difficult time. You've got this!