Completely lost

[nanadhd]

Hi,

Several years ago, I discovered that I have the symptoms of adhd but I let it go and judged myself about making excuses.

I struggled in my bachelor's degree, but I finally graduated. My university years were hard because I can't focus on several things at once and I had 7-10 classes per semester. I couldn't learn anything at class because I had short attention span. By the way, it was the same for my school years, but at school I could manage to learn stuff by myself. I couldn't listed to the teacher, I would have no idea what they are talking about, which would make me anxious: "what if they ask me a question". But at the end of the day, school classes would not be too hard for me, i could learn them by time, on my own since I had more time. But at the university, it did not work for me because I had lots of short deadlines and exams. This lead to the lack of confidence, eventually to anxiety and depression. Before, I wasn't anxious like I am now. Yes, i had some anxieties in school, but i see that, by the time, my anxiety increases since my responsibilities are increasing and I can't get them all done.

I have fidgety all the time. I am impatient, I hate waiting in line (thanks god mobile phones are invented), waiting for food in the restaurant, sitting too much in one place by doing nothing etc. I have fidgety all the time. Even if I am trying to go to sleep, I can't stop moving my legs.

Therefore, if I need to sit down and learn something, I am having hard time to focus and sit still. At the end, because of my impatience, i give up. I can't watch 10 min video in 10 min, it always takes more (like twice). And sometimes, i get too impatient to read long sentences, or i need to read one sentence several times so I can get the simple meaning of this simple sentence.

Sometimes I could never find the passion of my life. I lose interest in everything. Sometimes I get too excited, I get motivated with full confidence, I am sure that I can do it but even after several hours or 1 day, I lose interest and forget about my plans. Therefore, I have no goals in my life, I have always felt confused and lost.

I can't regulate my emotions, I can't tolerate stress, so I easily give up. Then my failures make me more depressed.

Where I live, I can't get an accurate diagnosis but I have talked to 2 psychiatrists (one online from another country) they told me that "yes, you look like an adhd". But in my case, they can directly prescribe a medication since I can't go through diagnose process. But I can't still be sure since I don't have a diagnosis. Sometimes I think I am just lazy or I can't adapt to adult life, sometimes I think what I really have it?

I just wanted to know maybe there are some people who have the same experiences with me,

Thanks in advance

[Madhd]

Wow, sounds like me with a few minor differences. School: Sucked at it, Bachelors degree: took me 12 yrs to finally get it. Attention span: Gone in sixty seconds. Affected my life and close to me: most definitely.

[nanadhd in reply to Madhd]

yess, my attention span is also short. Sometimes it doesn’t even take 1 minute😂🤦🏻‍♀️