Worried its too late.....

[serenitysky27]

Hello,

I have been "diagnosed" for the last 8 months. Every day Im realizing how many things from my past that be explained and it all makes sense. How great that it is and all....it doesnt help the feeling that its too late and I cant change. I WANT to change and improve but I just cant get it together and dont know where to start. There is too much going on in my life that cant get messed up right now or it would really be all messed up.

Im looking for ways that I can get my act together. I thrive with organization and routine and schedule but I've realized its only when its not up to me to do it all. I am a stay at home mom who is homeschooling our three children.

Im starting to babble and just wanted to introduce myself and see if anyone had any suggestions.

If I could have a fairy on my shoulder to keep me on track that would be great bc I dont listen to my own voice in my head.

[Bluegreenblue]

Hi there, it’s never too late.

You could try seeing a certified ADHD life coach for some help. They can have amazing results with and for their clients. The iACT centre could be a place to start looking or just Google certified ADHD coaches in your area. Best of luck, the more in control of your ADHD you are the more effective a parent and teacher to your children you will be. 💕

[Mamamichl]

alarms on your phone will be your friend if you make a specific schedule. Do you know of the plethora of websites that help with homeschooling? I work in education.

Definitely give yourself credit for getting yourself diagnosed. I just was diagnosed a couple years ago and have been trying out stimulant medications this past 2 months. It does help me to just be able to breathe again. I also don’t brood on issues I used to.

If you haven’t started, find a counselor that specializes in adhd. I’ve been through many counselors and none helped until I googled each of the ones I could see and looked for my diagnoses and what I know works with me.

[NiceUp]

My advice, taken only from my own experiences and what I've learned online: Create small wins for yourself. Start doing little, achievable things like changing one behavior or making a list every morning. If you're like me, your ADHD brain envisions a holistic life makeover, which is not achievable, at least not all at once. Also, be your own shoulder fairy. Once I learned to congratulate myself and listen to my own advice, I began to see things more positively.

Finally, I get a lot of uplift from Kristen Carder's podcast. This particular episode really spoke to me. podcasts.apple.com/us/podca...

[LisethHIS]

Hello Serenitysky27

Thank you for contacting CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD. I am sure with your recent diagnosed you have questioned many things and are trying to find answer, ways to better understand ADHD and have control of things.

CHADD offers an online adult training program that talks about strategies to help manage adult ADHD symptoms. chadd.org/adult-to-adult/

and chadd.org/about-adhd/coaching/

We also have a professional directory that can help you CHADD Resource Directory - Find an ADHD professional and chadd.org/organization-directory/

If you have further questions, please let us know. We are here to help!

Liseth

Health Information Specialist

CHADD’s National Resource Center on ADHD

chadd.org

[OldIndigoBlue]

One small thing that has definitely changed my entire life is getting some child Chore Lists (the ones I got are plastic and I use erasable markers). I am 74 years old, so it feels childish but I get a great sense of satisfaction from seeing my check marks each day on my list of activities I want to at least TRY to complete.... little things, like "shower" and "walk 20 minutes in the hallway" and "laundry".... you get the picture - whatever items you want to accomplish. I also bought a Timer Timer (which I use to convince myself to do a chore for 15 minutes... and I find I usually am able to continue to finish the chore even after the timer goes off). No one is here to set that timer for me, so I have to take the initiative (and I know how hard that is sometimes!) to START a project. I even list "finishing the daily dishes" and "night time ablutions" (or I will "forget" to brush my teeth at night). Seeing those check marks on the Chore list really seems to inspire me and keep me organized and grounded. Hope that helps a bit.

[Gettingittogether]

You're right there is that paradox for many of us with ADHD. We need routine and structure and we rebel against routine and structure.

So ideally we need outside structure--a boss imposing structure, for example. That's part of the condition, but you can get better at this over time. Have you done therapy? One step you got to take is to get past that demoralization and hopelessness. That's where therapy can help.

And it is never too late, as others have said. The reason is that once you get your life cooking, you don't look back to the past so much. You are immersed in the joy of the present.