Seeking advice on my coach search - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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Seeking advice on my coach search

Old_Owl profile image
6 Replies

Wednesday my next step finding a coach starts. I've set up 30 minute interviews with 5 coaches I found through the CHADD site- just a gut feel reading through their bios.Been putting together questions to determine their experience coaching someone like me with ADHD, their approach and so on.

30 minutes isn't a lot as I'm sure they'll have questions for me as well.

So for anyone who worked with a coach, what would you ask if you were looking for a new one and why?

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Old_Owl
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Iveria2774 profile image
Iveria2774

Such a helpful question, I would ask:

- what experience they have in helping with the specific skills you want to improve on. For example if you issues with executive functioning, time management specifically, ask how do they approach that, ask them what tips they usually offer for that;

- ask them how do they keep you accountable - do they do follow up calls? do they text you in between meetings? do you stay in touch any other way? or no?

- what experience do they have in working with people from your age group, gender, and people with history of other issues similar to yours (e.g. trauma, depression, OCD, or whatever).

- Ask them how they work with people with your specific learning style. For example if you're a visual learner etc;

- Do they use any tools or tests to understand where you're at, for example the Clifton Strengths Inventory, or the VIA Character Strengths, or they just go by what you say are your challenges and strengths? Personally I like these tools but not everyone does.

- Will there be any homework to do between sessions? (other than you doing the work or accomplishing the goals you said you wanted to work on). Is there any templates to fill out, worksheets, any journalling to be done in between sessions etc..?

Anyway just random questions that came to mind.. feel free to take or discard..

All the best from Canada :)

Old_Owl profile image
Old_Owl in reply toIveria2774

Thank you!

I definitely am interested in making sure the coach as some experience with my age range. While I am sure there are organizational skills that transcend age, my needs and struggle at 58 are different than say a college student (or so I feel).

I love all your ideas and especially am glad you brought up the accountability- wasn't thinking of that one at all.

Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts, fist interview tomorrow at 9:15

And Cheers from the U.S.

Actually I wouldn't really ask anything. The benefit of 30 minutes is you can launch right into what your problems are, what your goals are ... and the coach can tell you what their approach might be.

No need for questions: you want to audition them and see who you feel comfortable with, knowing that some people don't make great first impressions.

What are you afraid of? Those can be your questions ... I mean a fear of mine in coaching was something like, "do most of your clients make real progress?" ...

But basically the coach should basically introduce themselves, you introduce yourself and then the coach you ask in detail for you to describe your ADHD situation and what your hopes and goals are.

Old_Owl profile image
Old_Owl in reply toGettingittogether

Thank you for your reply and I appreciate your approach.

I need to understand the person a bit more before I can let my mind relax and trust the process. So while it might be slower, understanding where they are coming from and how they approach to coaching is important to me. Those questions are there in my mind anyway, so if I get those out of the way, I can then start to focus on the process (how I tick and tock). I also want to be sure I understand what I am getting into in terms of cost and commitment to not waste either of our time.

As far as fears- definitely worry that I am trying yet one more thing that won't work. I am ready to try and see what happens. (so maybe this is helping me procrastinate :) )

Having said that, once I select someone, I will still be evaluating the fit as we go along, I know what might be helpful to me today, might not be tomorrow.

Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts. As I try to figure my path forward, I am open to all suggestions.

Jozlynn profile image
Jozlynn

Hello Old_Owl! Wishing you the best of luck as you begin your coach search today!

I currently work with a coach, and what made me choose her was in our first discussion I immediately felt comfortable with her and she straight away called out BS on certain things. I'm not saying she called me out, but she didn't tap dance around the subject when she saw something worth noting or disagreed with certain things. For instance, I told her that part of what I was looking for was a way to get totally organized (among other things) and she said, "so you want to be neurotypical" (there was more to this conversation, but that's the gist). I realized IMMEDIATELY that was she said was dead-on for me, personally. I hadn't realized that I was basically just looking for some kind of fix to make me look like "everyone else". It resonated deeply with me, which is what made me wind up choosing her. I felt like she saw me and that was SUCH a relief. I've been working with her since and that has continued. We've had some intense sessions and some lighthearted sessions, but always she addresses either the issue I've brought to the table, or something she observes while we're talking, with candor and compassion. She's not always dead-on, no one is going to be - but the insights she shares with me so often touch me from my brain straight down to my toes, confirming to me that it's accurate - for me.

All that to say, I think someone will stand out to you. It may not be based on the answers to your questions so much as it'll be "we clicked". A good coach is compassionate without coddling. They are rooting us on and cheering for us to succeed, in addition to helping teach us methods for how to succeed - or at least challenge us to develop methods that resonate as fitting for who we are as individuals.

I didn't realize a coach would be so impactful in my life, and it honestly took a few meetings before I realized that I could see the areas of my life that the coaching was impacting for the better. That has only grown, as have I. I used to wake up fighting my ADHD every day, now I've learned to live with and work with it. We each have our own "brand" of ADHD, it's just a matter of learning what that is and how best to work with it instead of how to cover it up and pretend it's not there.

There is help to be had - and we can take some elements of control back when it feels like our ADHD is leading the charge in our lives.

I am sending positive energy your way that you find a coach that resonates with you!

Old_Owl profile image
Old_Owl in reply toJozlynn

I appreciate your words of encouragement and sharing your experience.

The initial interview are done as of this morning. I feel like I've learned more about coaching through the interviews and I'm trying to make the final choice based on my needs. I know that might sound strange- and it's hard to explain.

A couple of the coaches I talked to have it down- they are experience, have a plan for me, they have worked with a lot of people. But I didn't feel that connection with them. In the past I would have ignored my own feelings, my own desires and picked the one who had the best credentials. Now I'm taking the leap of faith and listening to my feelings (still making sure I am comfortable with their skills and abilities)

As such, I don't think I need a lot of time pondering on my final choice. I feel I found the person that I had a good connection with and has the skills to move me forward. Of course I will still doubt myself for a bit, but working to build that self trust :)

So, plan is to let the coach know in the next day or two, and if they feel I am a good candidate for them, start the coaching first of the year. (taking a deep breath) so there it is :)

Again, I appreciate your thoughts and comments (along with everyone else) right now I need support like this and, well, right now this is my prime source for such support.

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