How to help adult child.

[Struggling5678]

Hi, I am trying to locate tools that my adult child can use to help themself. They have a good career but their personal life and finances are a mess. ADHD makes these things a struggle and it is straining our relationship almost to the breaking point.

[GatsbyCat]

Hello, Struggling5678~

Welcome to the group!

There are a lot of tools available for your child. Your post is more general than specific, so here are some general tools:

Useful magazines for ADHD:

1. ADDitude Magazine at Http://additudemag.com

2. Psychology Today Magazine at Http://Psychologytoday.com

Books:

1. Taking Charge of Adult ADHD 2nd edition by Russell Barkley with Christina Benton

2. ADHD 2.0 by Hallowell and Ratey

ADHD Coach-

Just google in your area. They're available to help in the areas you mentioned of relationships, finances and of course other areas too.

While you, as a loving parent are hoping to see your grown child succeed in all areas of their life, they may or may not be happy with the current state of affairs.

Best wishes on this journey called life.

Regards~

GatsbyTheCat

[If-love-were-all]

Hi Struggling 5678,

My daughter has just turned 32 and has always been baffled and be-devilled by her poor executive functioning. She tries so hard, but it has led to huge emotional vulnerability and anxiety and for her maintaining a work life has been elusive. So the fact that your child has a viable career going is impressive and encouraging to hear. But what may be happening is that they are so depleted by its demands that there simply isn't enough executive functioning left over for the routine tasks of home, health and money. With ours it tends to be one or the other "I'm working so I can't seem to take care of the house" or she's doing the laundry, cooking, shopping, cleaning all right but there's just no energy left over to organize working as well.

Getting overwhelmed is real. Feeling guilty and ashamed that you can't do more is real.

I agree with GatsbyCat's reply re things to try. And praise, praise every step in the right direction. Our daughter has improved every day. She says she sometimes starts tasks with the idea she is only going to have 50% the organizational skills she needs and then can be pleasantly surprised when she achieves more than she thought she would. She still gets mentally exhausted but her capacity meanwhile grows bit by bit.

I tried to be her coach when she was in her 20's and it only led to emotional turmoil for both. Getting an Apple watch sort of thing did help (as then it wasn't me keeping track and reacting!) and of course things like 'post its' and such, but the ongoing encouragement and experience of a proper ADHD coach could be a good resource if your child would be receptive.

all the best,

If-love-were-all