inability to keep a routine affects every aspect of my life.

[Goldilocks2022]

Hi, Im new. I was diagnosed in my 20’s and have been medicated for a decade or so and Vyvanse seems to help, but I can’t stick to a routine and it’s affecting every part of my life.

I can’t wake up at a reasonable time in the morning which usually means I’m starting my workdays off on the wrong foot and by the end of the day I’m too mentally wiped to get to workout.

I can meal prep, but then end up not eating them during day and binging at night.

My job can be very demanding one week and not the next which makes it difficult to stuck to a routine. When work gets stressful I turn to alcohol and unhealthy diet as a reward system and this furthers my sleep issues, lack of motivation and inability to stick to routine.

I just don’t know how to get on track and stay on track. Any suggestions?

[CessHan]

Hello! Sorry, I am not coming with advise, because unfortunately I am experiencing the same - and would love to keep track of replies that may come to you - and share that I feel totally compasionate! I tried keeping a routine, but it's really difficult, works a couple of days, feeling really empowering, and then one element slips out of the routine, it feels too strict, and I fall back into bad habits, making me feel even worse than before, because I feel like I failed...

[ScooterJoe in reply to CessHan]

Interesting to me that your post is under attention deficit as that is a possibility I had never considered: I have experienced many of conditions mentioned in your post. But, my symptoms have always been just attributed to depression. Since your post was in reply to another post, that means there are at least 3 of us in the same boat! While I was working, I did fairly well in the structured environment as long as I had MORE work than I could do. If things slowed down however, so did my initiative. Now that I have retired, it has become a lot easier to accept that I am not going to get anything done. My thoughts are like a super highway--can't even stay focused long enough to say my prayers. I also have narcolepsy and have been prescribed just about every med that I can think of that contains the word 'meth' but to no avail. They seemed to work for me for a little while but then nothing but a complexion with eruptions like those of a teenager and just another pill to take. I am certain of one thing: the desire for structure in my life is not strong enough to make me want to return to work now that I have retired. I hope you can find something that works for you.

[Chickadee1]

Hi Goldilocks,

My counselor told me "baby steps" work better for ADHD than a big overwhelming thing - I wonder if it would be easier to choose one thing you want as part of your routine - and focus on just that one thing until you are consistent with it for awhile, then add one more thing - and gradually build your routine until you get it the way you want it? If you have a big routine set up and planned and then miss one thing it can make you want to throw the whole thing out and give up - but if you expectation is only to do the one thing (and make it an easy thing at first) - it will be easier and more likely to "stick"...

My ADHD causes me difficulty at work - difficulty meeting productivity goals/supervisor expectations - my boss watched me work and gave me a bunch of tips but I couldn't seem to get them to work or apply them well - my counselor thought maybe it was because it was too many things to focus on - she suggested I ask my boss what was the one thing that was most important to her for me to work on first - but that was hard for my boss to say - just "do all the things" and it should work... or "productivity"... anyway - still haven't gotten the situation resolved - but telling her and HR about the diagnosis at least gives me some protection - and my boss really does care - and wants to help me so that is a positive...

Anyway - just wanted to share the baby step idea - I think it could apply to a lot of areas in life...

For me my counselor suggested I use it on my heap of mail that had accumulated as I didn't deal with it as it came in - she had me just throw away or deal with 5 pieces per day - and deal with any new mail that came in immediately - even throw it away in the mailroom if it was junk and not even bring it into the house - it really helped me... Shopping was also overwhelming to me and I put it off - would go to the store around once per month and stock up so I wouldn't have to go again for a long time - she had me start going every week and just get a little - that way it doesn't have to be such a huge job that will take an overwhelming amount of time... breaking stuff down to baby steps makes it easier and less overwhelming for me... maybe the principal could be extrapolated out and applied to routines to?

I also read about a guy - maybe it is the guy that wrote the book "Atomic Habits" - I bought it but didn't read it or didn't finish it - anyway the guy wanted get an exercise habit going - so he made his habit small enough that it would be easy to keep up - his goal was to do 1 push-up per day - he could do more if he wanted - but at least one... if he had set a big goal of 20 or 50 or something - it would be hard to get up the motivation to do it - and then when he failed to do it it would derail the whole habit before it got off the ground much...

Anyway - I've rambled on too long... hope this helps...

[Goldilocks2022 in reply to Chickadee1]

Yes! I read atomic habits in January. It really helped and life was great for 3 months until work got too be too much. I did speak with a friend at work who doesn’t have adhd and she went through similar things during our crazy work period. Nice to know it’s not just a me thing.

I’ve been a week in to my wrlness routine and feel great. I think Im going to take the baby step advice and try do think about things a week at a time rather than big picture. Big picture overhelms me and I give up.

It’s been nice to focus on me and take what comes as it comes rather than plan everything out in advance and them get frustrated when I don’t have the energy or brain capacity to follow through.

[ScooterJoe in reply to Chickadee1]

Your reply was so informative for me --seeing 'ME' described by someone else! The trouble with grocery shopping, exercise and stacks of mail, all of that is me too. So comforting to know that I'm not just lazy as I've sometimes been labeled. I'm sure that there are others with the same experienced. So glad you shared.

[notanotter]

Using small steps or at least starting with just one change at a time has worked for me too. It’s less intimidating and it’s easier to focus.

[notanotter]

OMG I know, right? Don’t forget though, that change takes time and practice. Each time you started following your schedule was a valid practice trial! I find it helps to remember I didn’t fail, I practiced - and what did I learn.

[Goldilocks2022]

I have a love hate relationship with my job. It can be so stressful at times and then so slow. I’ve moved to a new team and the pace is better. Sometimes it feels easier to stay in the place I’ve grown in, but every 4-6 months I start looking for something new. It’s hard to let go when I know I’m making a large impact, but I need to learn to put my physical and mental well-being first.