I cried while learning about ADD, My whole life made sense.

[asaleh7]

There is a high probability that i have ADD, the more i learn about the condition the more my life makes sense, why i'm always daydreaming, tuning out during conversations, intense procrastination, not be able to pay attention during work meetings. i've always thought i'm just an under achiever all my life and just need to work a little harder, but i guess there is hope.

[FindingTheAnswers]

Many times in life, 'Hope' was all I had. Keep pushing forward-as best you can.You haven't realized your full potential. (You may not truly know who your 'True self' is. (That may sound weird or outlandish. But, at times, I'm still trying to figure out who the 'real me' is).

Never give Up!

[asaleh7 in reply to FindingTheAnswers]

Thank you for the kind words!

[wtfadhd]

absolutely there is hope! welcome to the tribe😜

[asaleh7 in reply to wtfadhd]

Thank you, glad to know its an actual thing!!

[pragman]

I would not consider you an under-achiever from the symptoms you have described which I have as well. I'd suggest that you find areas of interest that you tend to hyperfocus on, and build your career around that. Your brain is wired for interest, so chase what interests you and don't worry too much about "practical advice". Happy to help in anyway I can...all the best!

[asaleh7 in reply to pragman]

Thank you so much! i am not diagnosed yet but everything ive come across so far describes me perfectly, how do you suggest i go about getting a diagnosis. i am completely lost and i've read it can get quite expensive. Thanks

[GabyLaw in reply to asaleh7]

It depends the country so your best bet is to google which adhd psychiatrists are near you.

[LifeIsLearning]

i could almost have written your post. Welcome to the club!

[75ADHDgal]

No working harder is not the answer. working smarter is .Learning to deal with the ADHD ( the term ADD is not used anymore ) we all have ADHD - some inattentive and other hyperactive and some mixed

[asaleh7 in reply to 75ADHDgal]

I always confused the two, thanks for the clarification!

[LeafyGreens]

Keep learning….about ADHD and your own unique presentation. I had similar experience when I first stumbled across ADHD websites, including Jessica McCabe’s How to ADHD YouTube. There was instant recognition of lifelong patterns! And, as I continued learning and self-reflection, I experienced many, more subtle “aha moments”…..insights where, for the first time, I could understand the “why” and “how” about what was going on for me in the past when I hadn’t been able to accomplish what I set out to do, wanted to do, was expected to do, and thought I knew how to do—without understanding that, for AD/HD neuro-divergent folks, sometimes goals or tasks might require seemingly odd (to neurotypicals) means or strategies to achieve. As I continue to learn, I am in the process of being able to better discern and accept what, in some cases is just not possible for me to do—at least right now with the way I am experiencing AD/HD symptoms—so that I can strategize to develop a work-around, or alternative.

[WriterG]

When my son, now 32, was diagnosed with AD/HD, I began doing some research on it. This was the first time I was aware that adults could have ADD/ADHD. To that point, I thought it was something kids got and outgrew. Wow, was I wrong! As I read the list of symptoms, I got excited, as they described me to a T! I checked yes to 9/10. It was amazing. In fact, without saying anything about what these were I read the list of symptoms to my husband. His comment was they sound like they're describing you! Bingo! Yet, I had a long, long way to go before any "professional" would validate me. There's nothing worse than going to see a doctor, be it a family-type practitioner or psychiatrist and they try convincing you of everything but the real truth. Years prior to even having my son, for a couple of years, I got pretty heavily into drinking, and so I was labeled an alcoholic and even spent about 10 years sitting around the tables in AA. I even tried convincing myself of it because I wanted answers so badly, but it just didn't fit. I felt "off" way, way before I ever picked up a glass of anything alcoholic, and still did once I quit drinking. It wasn't until I read the symptoms mentioned above that I figured it out but still couldn't seem to get anyone to diagnose it. It seemed like the moment they heard alcohol or drugs were in the picture, all bets were off! Finally, in 2000, after taking for no more than15 minutes, a very wonderful and smart psychiatrist gave me my life back by 1.) validating everything I believed was true, 2.) putting me on the right meds that changed my life.

I, too, was a total underachiever in school, and in life, in general. In fact, it was only due to art and music credits that I actually graduated high school on time. Jobs were no better, nor were relationships. It seemed like I was doomed to spend my life on the outside watching other people live. I never completed ANYTHING I started, so after a while, I stopped starting things. I got married and had my first son soon after and couldn't even do that right and got divorced within a few more years. I am now 67, have been married 4 times, and have 3 sons. Once i was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and started on the meds I began to excel in things I dared not try. I went back to school, and in 2010, earned my BS, with a 3.8 GPA!!! I even shocked myself. I never realized I could actually do something that well, better yet, something that took that long. My "old" self would have quite a few months in. Then I started my freelance writing business, which I've been doing since that time.

If I can do it, you certainly can too! The first thing you need is a diagnosis and then probably meds. Don't think of it as failing because you have to take medication. Lots of people think they're damaged because they must take meds to live a good life. Not true. If you were a diabetic or had 100 other conditions it's the same. There's no shame in it.

Anyway, all the best to you. Keep us informed.

[PinkPanda23 in reply to WriterG]

Thank you for this terrific response! We are the same age and framed by the same societal prejudices around ADHD. I was 54 when I was diagnosed, and it was so validating, I cried from relief! Well, that was great for a while, just knowing I'm not lazy, crazy or stupid, I just have a neurodiverse brain. In practice, it solves little beyond keeping me from beating myself up. The world is still geared toward people not like me, and work especially was torture - I had to work to survive. But the same problems over and over - "you're so bright and so good with clients, but you need to go faster and manage your time better." Or. "I just showed you this yesterday, how did you forget already?" I don't learn by being shown something just once. I need to understand why it's done in order to retain it. Thankfully, in retirement the demands on me are less, and I am able to meet my responsibilities. Still, the time blindness, procrastination and flitting from thing to thing drive my spouse and family nuts. 🤷‍♀️ It helps to know I'm not alone and it's not a character defect, but a brain disorder. Thanks again!