My husband has podcasts playing all day long lately. I'd love for him to do it less often. He finds it helps him focus and avoid boredom.
I can't process my thoughts while it's on very well because there are always other people talking. On the podcasts.
And it's very frustrating to me to wait to talk to him until he pauses it, since it's for every, single, comment.
Is it just me that finds that difficult? I have much less difficulty with music and thinking.. and I don't mind waiting if someone is watching a show, if it's not constant. It's mostly this podcast thing.
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WhereSquirrel
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It's a lot harder to tune out a conversation/podcast. If I'm trying to focus and I can't put that noise in the background it would make me irritable. Plus it's lame to feel like you are "interrupting" just to be able to say something to them. It would be nice if he could use headphones, and then you could just wave or maybe text if you wanted to talk.
Hello. I understand you perfectly, the same thing happens to me. My husband spends day after day listening to podtcasts, talks ... all on the same subject ... and as you say, in my house you always hear people talking in the background ... it's maddening for me too. He needs to keep his mind constantly occupied and when he doesn't do that he does something else, but usually of the obsessive kind. I don't know how to help you, because I don't see the solution either. They are like that, they need that disconnection with the world and the rest of us feel alone on many occasions, but in the end either you accept it or you change your way. I always make a balance because there are also many good things ... and that is how I get along better.
I feel like it's a want, rather than a need, since we've been together 15 years, and it's only been a problem off and on for 4. He used to listen to them when he was on long solo car trips. A few we'd listen to together. It's evolved.
He's a lovely person. The frequency of the habit, the disconnect from myself/kids and the effect it has on my ability to think and process, is the problem, not him. There's got to be a fairer way to avoid boredom.
He really should be using headphones if he needs it on 24/7, not to mention a good pair of wireless ones will come with noise reduction to help him focus.
Drive the point home by blaring death metal over his podcast and when he complains question why he has the right to play annoying shit on speakers when you dont.
This stuff grinds my gears almost as bad as people who use cell phone speakers on public transport.
I too always need to have a background noise when I am working and also for sleep. I listen to podcasts BBC radio or a book almost all day. I have headphones that are wireless and you cover the earphone with your hand and it will pause automatically so you can answer questions etc hear someone thing . I wear these during my working time. I just make sure that they are not too loud as prolonged headphone use can cause hearing damage. Have you had a a conversation with him about how you feel ? Maybe you can make some kind of resolution?
The auto pause thing sounds intriguing. What kind are they? That would certainly cut wait time down, and save me listening to it.. although he wouldn't be able to hear anyone else-- including the dog needing let in, the door ringing, or the children fighting. Nice for him, but puts extra responsibility on me.
Still, might be a significant improvement.
I've talked to him about it, but he doesn't seem to understand how I could possibly feel overwhelmed just because a podcast is on. Or why I might be bothered by having to wait to speak until he pauses it. Or by the heavy sigh that comes because he has to pause it so I can tell him something.
I'm sure there's a resolution. Just not sure what a fair one is at this point.
Sounds like you both need noise or sound canceling headphones.
I have ADHD, my wife does not. Sometimes it's good for me to listen to podcasts so she can tell when I am listening to something.
It takes practice to learn to turn off the podcast for more than one comment and have a conversation. It's an emotion regulation issue: excitement at the podcast material, frustration with interruptions. This is a skills issue that CBT, emotions journals, counseling and practice can improve but not completely solve. It takes patience on both sides.
We have young kids and pets.. so being constantly deafened is problematic...
I have adhd, my husband, to our knowledge, does not. I get the irritation at interruption thing, which is why I avoid video games, deep conversations and interesting reading when my kids are around and awake, because I find I get irritable with them otherwise.
I wonder if the excitement and irritation on his part would be lessened if he were listening to a repeat episode... maybe he wouldn't even need to pause...
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