Just diagnosed… questions about medication

[mabsmino]

Hello! I was recently dx because I Initially thought my relationship was struggling because my partner had adhd (he does), but after some research I noticed I presented a lot of symptoms like aren’t so stereotypical… we both decided to get assessed and it turns out we were both diagnosed (which explains A LOT).

It’s felt like such a relief and helped me understand why I did certain things and why I am the way that I am. My symptoms were always there but I was extremely shy and I always just got by undetected. Since having 2 kids my symptoms have been exacerbated. I don’t know if it’s the hormones or that I just have so much more on my plate that it’s harder to manage, or both.

Anyways, I was only recently diagnosed and I’m still doing a lot more research and listening (trying to) to podcasts but I haven’t told my family doctor yet. I’m hesitant about the medication because I don’t understand how it will help me. I get the science but human-to-human what does it feel like? How will it help me? Which symptoms will it help?

the symptoms that have affected me the most are concentration - I’m losing my phone and wallet constantly and I’m forgetting to turn off the stove or I put clothes in the washer but I forget to turn it on, I feel emotionally unstable - small things set me off and ruin my day, my pms symptoms are extremely heightened, my anxiety and depression take an all time low every month because of it and I take everything personally, our house is a disaster and I don’t know where to start, I’m such a perfectionist and feel extreme guilt/shame constantly because of the mess. When I do clean I’m all over the place and I get ocd and hyper fixate for hours scrubbing. I have a hard time filtering our sound and I hate the feeling of dirt or sweat… to the point where I can’t focus properly because all I think about is the dirt or sweat.

Sorry for the long post, I think I’ve been able to “deal” my whole life and I just thought I was stupid and an anxious/weepy person but it’s become a lot harder to manage lately. We are looking for an adhd coach and plan on doing biweekly counselling so that we can learn coping mechanisms to pass onto our kids too (because I heard it’s common in families).

[theoldguy]

It sounds like you guys have a good start. I was diagnosed about 15 yrs ago and decided to go on medication (adderall) right off the bat to try to begin moving forward in my career and to try to save my marriage. The medication worked really well for me and I had energy, motivation, concentration, and hope. The thing I realized, and could no longer ignore , about a year ago is that medication only gets you so far and without putting systems in place to help you stay under control, out of control is only around the corner. It sounds like both of you are taking your diagnosis' seriously and you've reached out here for help (it took me 15 yrs), so I think you'll manage well. As a person who has taken just about every available medication, I will say this; don't underestimate how well medication can work, when you find the right one (or ones) and the right prescription strength. Over time the medication can become less effective and you'll need to have it adjusted, added to, or changed. This take a caring and understanding doctor, wrestling with the health insurance company, and a lot of time. I joke with my pharmacist that if I could manage all of this without medication, I wouldn't need the medication. Good luck! If you have any specific questions, just ask.

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Just to give my personal perspective after taking adderall. I started on the lowest dose and at first it made me feel very heavy and slow like I was wading underwater. I ended up taking halves to give myself more time to get used to it. Having my brain work slower made me in turn more mindful of what I was doing at that time. I was less aware of my surroundings and my thoughts trailed less or would get back on focus faster. The other thing I noticed is where I'd normally get really tired and lethargic a few hours after being up on days off, I stay awake through the day which really helps productivity. In turn this leads to less distractions that might cause stress and a better mood after working on goals for the day so less anxiety. Not magic but it's a helpful boost in the right direction for me.