Hey everyone! I’m feeling weird right now for asking help from people I don’t know on the internet, don’t get me wrong, it’s just my first time doing this!
So, I’m 25 years old and I’ve suspected for some years that I might have ADHD. I’m doing my diagnosis this week.
Since I went to college, I became pretty convinced about it. I’ve always been the top student until high school, and at college things just crumbled down. I would assist classes from another course, showed up in the wrong room for some exames, sent emails right before the deadline BUT without the assignments attached... and so on. But the most stressful thing was to enjoy my subjects and not being able to study for more than 10min. Long story short, it took me 5 and a half years to complete a 3 year course.
Last year I found the courage to enroll in a master degree (I applied after applications closed...). I felt an euforia during last year of studies and achieved my good old grades ahaha. But things faded quickly now that I am searching for my thesis subject: no orientation, no schedules, no guidelines or any hint for a path that I might follow...
And it is due to my current situation that I finally gain courage to seek a diagnosis. The thing is... I haven’t done it before mainly because my dumb pride (“I’m gonna strive no matter what!”) but now my thoughts started wondering what more could I have achieved if was earlier diagnosed...
And what I wanted to ask you is: is it normal to be afraid before the diagnosis?
Is it normal to be afraid of not getting the diagnosis? Because I hate the fact that in some way I want to be neurodivergent. I think the reason is because I want a justification for my struggles... not sure
And what if I receive a negative answer? Why am I afraid of that?
Well, not sure if this is a question for you all or just a way to unburden myself right.
Thank in advance to anyone who read this.
All the best
Written by
Dinosaur_Guy
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Hey Dinosaur Guy-Totally typical AND reasonable to want the official diagnosis bc you desire to understand your non neuro typical behaviors. Thats not a justification. Thats actually a healthy thing- to want to understand how your brain works, how to make your ADHD work for you, so that u have more joy n less struggle, etc. All fabulous stuff!! Dont feel guilty about wanting the formal diagnosis. Its actually a very logical place to start- Identify the issue and then tackle it!
Likely your gear of not getting the diagnosis is an issue of “ lack of validation” . And that too is waaaay typical of us ADHD tribe.
your figuring this out at 25 yrs old which is very early for someone who isnt hyper, and also intelligent! Alot of us fell thru cracks n lived in tailspin until late 30’s, 40’s, even 50’s !!!
Well.. just an update. I got my appointment earlier than what was supposed: today! And apparently I now belong to this really cool and supportive community! I'm kind of scared I confess.But in my country the full diagnosis it's given after taking the medication and with further report from my side explaining the changes (or absence of them). I guess i'll be sure later this week.
Well, thank you for your words, it felt good some support while no one is awed of my situation for now.
Even with the diagnosis I still tried for many years to not take the medication. I tried all kinds of natural products from the internet and changed my diet and exercise. I still remember the day that I gave up and admitted that I needed the medication and it made me feel free. I felt free of inner struggle, turmoil.
Well... I was considering put the medication aside, but I think I'm going to take your example in consideration and give medication a chance to prove itself.Thanks a lot for your reply!
If you don't like your diagnosis, you can see a second expert. He will tell you something different, and if you don't like it , you can see a third expert, he might also say something else. Do not worry! Good luck!
Thanks for your encouragement! My doctor was not an expert and just said I most likely had ADHD. Then wrote a prescription and said: "try these pills, if they work we are 100% sure you have ADHD, if not we shall try other strategies to overcome the symptoms".Well, I guess my diagnose is positive, once the medication works wonders!
Do you receive a paper or some kind of proof of diagnosis in your countries?
So relatable! I’m your age and did really well in school but struggled at university. And also really struggled to study even when I liked the subject. Luckily I got diagnosed just before university so I knew why I was struggling and managed to get the right support and good grades again. But I only went for a diagnosis because my brother got diagnosed with ADHD and my Mother noticed the similarities! I’d hate to think what would’ve happened if I hadn’t been diagnosed then.
I had the choice of doing a final project or a regular module, and in the end I gave up on doing a project I loved and did a regular module which I hated because I couldn’t get myself to sit down and write and self-manage like that. I hate to tell you but it’s even worse when you start working because there’s a lot more of having to self-manage, plan, prioritise etc all the executive functions we struggle with 😅 but then you learn what does and doesn’t work for you and make a system for yourself and find accountability and you’ll get there! There’s tons of research and useful guidance out there I recommend reading up on, eg additudemag.com 😊
So glad you got your diagnosis, welcome to the crazy family!
Thank you for sharing your story! And sorry for this late response...Im now onto finding my master theses subject and tutor and is freaking difficult to sit down and send emails, such a simple thing and still it takes all energy from my body!
I was prescribed Concerta and it helps a LOT but I kind feel guilty when I take the pill because it feels like cheating... Plus, it improves my mood and I kinda want to deal with certain things in my life the 'raw way', if it makes sense ahaha.
Again, thanks for your comment and all the best at navigating in this unnecessarily over complicated world.
My pleasure! Happy if I could help.No worries, that's classic ADHD - either replying immediately or ages later 😅
Good luck! Try to write things down in a designated notebook/ Word doc so you don't forget anything, break big tasks into smaller ones that can be completed in an hour or so, and do one thing at a time!
Yay I'm glad you got your diagnosis and meds and that it's helping! There's nothing to feel bad about, it's just balancing out your hormones a bit closer to that of a neurotypical brain - you have to think of it as levelling the playing field, otherwise known as equity.
Haha thanks, you too! Though I think it is necessarily complicated because we often only grow, learn and improve as people when things are difficult.
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