Hey everyone! I’m feeling weird right now for asking help from people I don’t know on the internet, don’t get me wrong, it’s just my first time doing this!
So, I’m 25 years old and I’ve suspected for some years that I might have ADHD. I’m doing my diagnosis this week.
Since I went to college, I became pretty convinced about it. I’ve always been the top student until high school, and at college things just crumbled down. I would assist classes from another course, showed up in the wrong room for some exames, sent emails right before the deadline BUT without the assignments attached... and so on. But the most stressful thing was to enjoy my subjects and not being able to study for more than 10min. Long story short, it took me 5 and a half years to complete a 3 year course.
Last year I found the courage to enroll in a master degree (I applied after applications closed...). I felt an euforia during last year of studies and achieved my good old grades ahaha. But things faded quickly now that I am searching for my thesis subject: no orientation, no schedules, no guidelines or any hint for a path that I might follow...
And it is due to my current situation that I finally gain courage to seek a diagnosis. The thing is... I haven’t done it before mainly because my dumb pride (“I’m gonna strive no matter what!”) but now my thoughts started wondering what more could I have achieved if was earlier diagnosed...
And what I wanted to ask you is: is it normal to be afraid before the diagnosis?
Is it normal to be afraid of not getting the diagnosis? Because I hate the fact that in some way I want to be neurodivergent. I think the reason is because I want a justification for my struggles... not sure
And what if I receive a negative answer? Why am I afraid of that?
Well, not sure if this is a question for you all or just a way to unburden myself right.
Thank in advance to anyone who read this.
All the best