Misinterperating people?

[humble-rasberry]

So I tend to stay fairly quiet in conversations to avoid saying something stupid after facing so much rejection in my childhood. And of course adhd makes it hard to pay attention… so sometimes when I think I’m interpreting a conversation correctly, I’ll respond, and people will kind of be like.. wait what? and then I’ll realize oh I have no idea what we are talking about..

But I’ve started feeling like I’m just missing something...? Like awareness?

For example, my boss recently asked me to look over an investor report. I spent 10 hours learning all I could about the content, fact checking, even asking my dad about some data, and just looking at every tiny detail because I know investor documents are really important. I realized when giving him my comments I had critiqued almost every sentence. I thought I was being helpful because I was noticing small things like, “this word is spelled wrong in this tiny graph thats barely legible” but I could tell from just his first reaction that he was definitely not expecting that many comments. I most likely created wayyy more work for him than he was probably looking to do.

It’s frustrating because one thing I love about ADHD is the potential to see small details, but of course no one likes critiques, or doing extra work that probably won’t make a big difference, let alone hearing it from some lower ranking employee. I just felt so dumb especially after seeing he changed maybe like 3 things in the end. It feels like I do things with good intentions, thinking I’m being really helpful and then totally just end up realizing they have way different expectations. But cmon he didnt even change the mispelled word, whether it was legible or not! If one of the investors has ADHD i just know they would catch that…

I suppose the answer would just be to ask questions, but in this case my boss had said, “just see if anything can be improved.” I don’t know. This has become so common that I feel like I’m missing something.

Anyways, any validation or tips would be much appreciated 😓

[Rodster]

Oh I have the same experiences as you . I once wrote a 75 page document because my boss wanted to know what was wrong with the configuration of this particular application. I found out years later that he just wanted a page worth. I should point out that this particular mistake helped me in future jobs so much so I take it as a positive experience. I tend to stay quiet in larger groups as well because my mind wanders so much. What I have discovered is that what my mind thinks about is so much more entertaining than their conversation anyway. They seem to all be on the same wavelength and I am on a different one. They actually only think of one thing at a time which is very odd to me. My mind is so much more rich and entertaining that I don’t feel like slowing it down just so I could be part of their conversation. They certainly can’t speed up and join me. Let’s just face it, if we all could talk telepathically then everything would be fine. We could get our point across with just one thought and wouldn’t have to bother to slow it down enough to put it into words.

In conclusion, ADHD is the beginning of the human mutation into a telepathic species and and we are the first mutants. We just need to find a school so we all can get together and learn to control our powers.

[humble-rasberry in reply to Rodster]

Haha I love this outlook! Thanks for the comment. I definitely balance the line far too often between imposter syndrome and having this hidden superpower. I think I just feel the most insecure when these situations happen and it feels like my brain is laughing, “I knew it all along! You’re an idiot!” and I just have to accept it.

Now how do we start fundraising for this school 😂

[sgtslawter in reply to humble-rasberry]

Just like both of you, I never know when good enough is good enough. I distress over it and still I do too much. I dream of a Goldilocks day where "too little and too much" are easy to see. Before that happens I need someone to tell me where the line is.