Helping neurotypical's understand - CHADD's Adult ADH...

CHADD's Adult ADHD Support

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Helping neurotypical's understand



I was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago in my early 20's.. but I have yet to learn how to best manage my syptoms. They like to make a mess of things--just like they have been doing my whole life. I'm just more aware of the how and why now.

This is particularly a problem since I recently married the most wonderful man who happens to have the most logical thinking brain around. He tries so hard to be patient with my "shortcomings" ( ie, bad time management, lack of motivation, etc.); however he is human, and naturally gets frustrated with these things every once in a while. That said, he is under the impression that the brain is amazing in it's ability to adapt and change for the better. So in his opinion and understanding, he thinks "yeah you have ADHD... But that doesn't mean you can just overcome it with some effort." And "stop blaming everything on ADHD and using it as a crutch".

I know that he makes some good points, because to some extent he is right. However, it has been so hard trying to explain or help him see how much harder it is for me to do those things. And then I start to think " well maybe I'm just too lazy.. or I should try harder". But it's counterproductive because the overwhelm kicks in, and my brain shuts down before I get to the point where my thought process is actually constructive.

So I just wanted to not only get advice on how I can conquer my own mountains, but also ask any if any of your loved ones might have advice for my husband as well. He has mentioned that he feels it would be helpful to hear from someone in his position.

Anyway you guys can help a girl out with this one??

6 Replies

Have you heard of the YouTube channel ‘How to ADHD’ ?

They have videos on dealing with all sorts of ADHD struggles while explaining why the problem occurs and why the solution works. Plus the videos are upbeat, well paced, and fairly short. Perfect for those of us with a short attention span.

They also have a video or two addressing people whose loved ones have ADHD.

hello, welcome to the community. I feel for you. your husband needs to understand that ADHD is not an attitude that you can just "change" or adjust - it is a real neurology affecting neurotransmitters. the pre-frontal cortex which is responsible for executive functioning: Organization, impulse control, time management, just to name a few.

If a person is diabetic, can they just think their way to regulating their sugar? No. If a person has a thyroid condition, can they just think concentrate their way into normalizing their metabolism? No. These conditions require medication, without question. While I'm not necessarily saying you need to go down the medication route, i am trying to make a point that ADHD is no less a medical condition.

I would love to add more here but have to get going to work. take care and God bless.


thank you

Hi, that's pretty typical of someone who doesn't understand ADHD in my experience unfortunately. I agree with the comments saying he needs to make more effort to find out about it it. If he's got a very logical brain then the best way to get through to him is probably down the science route.

Do you take medication for your symptoms? I only got diagnosed last year just before I turned 36 and started taking methylphenidate hydrochloride straight away. It took some getting used to but after about 18 long months I now find it helps me to manage my symptoms, especially when driving and working. It's not for everyone but worth trying a few different medications if you have that option, in my opinion.

Good luck getting through that brick wall!

I think he should focus on the things he loves so much about you and let you shine as the person you are. If he’s good at something that you aren’t good he should do it and Vice versa

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