I was diagnosed a week ago, at 51. I have been with my husband for 30 years and he is my opposite, he is structured, organised, methodical, logical. Due to work and other commitments we haven't had time to sit down and have a full discussion about my ADHD but today we had an argument where I felt the dynamics have shifted. I have always taken the blame for everything that goes wrong (usually caused by my disorganization, time management etc) and would put up with my husband venting and blaming me. Today I refused to take the verbal abuse and I cannot go back to being take person I was before, i don't know how this is going to work out. I'm not using ADHD as a "get out of jail" card, it doesn't excuse things but I'm not going to beat myself up either.
Before my official diagnosis i was afraid that my husband would not accept that even with the best systems in place to help with my ADHD, I may never be like other people. Now I feel like having his routines and being organised are more important to him than me and he'd rather live happily that way than be with me the way I am.
Sorry for rambling, just feeling very emotional and nobody else understands