Letting go of a grudge.

So, I had a procedure done called Mira dry and it’s a procedure to get rid of excessive sweating. I was real excited. But, the day of the procedure, my armpits were swollen and sore oh and the only pain pills they prescribed was ibuprofen. And my dad let it slip that my mom still had some narcotic pain pills around from when she needed them, but neither one of them would give me the pills because they were all worried that I’d get addicted. Every-time I remember that day, I get emotional, I just can’t seem to stop feeling so angry with them! Like they tell me I need to manage my pain, but they won’t give me the narcotic drug! also, ADHD makes it hard for me to let go of feelings especially when they’re intense. So how do I let go of this? I don’t think I can. I mean I was in pain, but they just made me suck it up!! But they tell me that pain needs to be managed, um…then give me the damn pain pills. I didn’t say that, but I was thinking it. I’m just hurt. I felt frustrated at how much that hurt and I wanted the pain, but my parents wouldn’t budge.

[F_RN_Dx_at_39]

That sucks. That said, if you could go back and do it all over again, your best course of action would have been to communicate directly with the surgeon that your pain was not made tolerable by ibuprofen. Your parents aren't your drug dealers, your surgeon is. If they are cutting on you, it is their job to keep you safe, free of infection, informed of how to care for yourself and with a care plan to manage your pain effectively. The expectation is not that you have zero pain, but that it is reduced so that it is tolerable and you are not suffering.

The dynamic with you and your parents also sounds unhealthy and I am sorry that they treated you like a drug addict. That would leave me upset as well.

[Foxfur]

Ugg.. so sorry you feel this way. It is hard to forget when people that are supposed to love us the most hurt us, however holding on to their mistakes isn’t going to help you in the long run. Try to remember, they are human, and have and will continue to make mistakes and MOST parents do what they think is best, and as a parent I’ve hurt my daughter’s feelings by saying things that I THOUGHT were best, and she expressed to me that she didn’t like what I said, and I did apologize. As we all know the words and actions have consequences and some are hard to ever forget. Try to talk to them and share your feelings, even if they don’t see it your way, at least you get to be heard.

[Spacehead]

I have those feelings everyday. I wish I could help but know you aren’t alone when it comes to anger and not letting go.

[dubstepMaul]

I understand Anne. I too have been hurt by family member's comments, and even though I have forgiven them, remembering the incident can still bring to me some sadness and/or annoyance. Also I agree with everything Foxfur said. I too have said things to my adult daughter that I thought was helpful or harmless but she let me know that she didn't appreciate my comments and provided the the reasons why, and I apologized to her. Maybe if you have an opportunity you can talk to one or both of your parents. God bless.