Drowning

[113498]

I was diagnosed almost two years ago, (22 now) and I can’t break this constant cycle of disappointment and worry and anxiety and never getting ANYTHING done. I feel like I’m drowning in my thoughts and disappointments of myself and my family and friends. Idk what to do or how to get out of this hole and cycle. Any help or just someone to talk to is greatly appreciated.

[Jjflash]

Hi there,I think most adhders know what you're going thru.I don't know if you've opened up to someone yu can trust who you can talk to about your ongoing struggles.Something ive tried is a wellbeing site with thousands of different speakers.Most are free and the time that I listened to 3 different speakers one after the other,I felt a whole lot calmer.I use an app called insight timer,you should give it a tinkle.Also,organisational apps are ten a penny,you could give some o those a bash to give yourself some kind of structure,a routine that yu can follow on a daily basis.Keep looking for ways to be more on the front foot,try to break the cycle when you're feeling down.And stay in touch on the site,I think people on here will offer help and advice whenever they can,irrespective of what they're going thru themselves.I hope some of this works for yu.best of luck ok.

[F_RN_Dx_at_39]

I believe that having depression and anxiety are not uncommon with those of us with ADHD. My anxiety grew to the point that it was a few my sleep and I talked with my doctor about it and he started me on Lexapro. Amazingly, the next day I felt better and I felt like it made a significant difference. Unfortunately, it gave me a side effect and I wasn't able to continue it. I want to second that finding a good podcast on ADHD can be a really helpful. I enjoyed listening to one by the guys who wrote the book the drummer and the great mountain

[Joydelle]

Hi. I am a mental health counselor. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 59. I knew I screwed up a lot, interrupted others, quick to anger, self judging and more. I had a lot of trauma growing up and saw the symptoms as coming from that. PTSD and ADHD symptoms are similar. Counseling helps. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps. I also know EMDR helps to address all that noise in my head…the self labeling, self condemning and negative self talk. I prefer the EMDR because it hits on all the negative emotions and memories of screwing up. Thus you can become more accepting of self and can let go of the negativity.

[Love-cats in reply to Joydelle]

We’re “2 peas in a pod!”I am a social worker and was diagnosed a year ago at age 60.

I see many posts on here where people struggle with this diagnosis.

I realize everyone’s situation is different, however I was RELIEVED! I FINALLY had a reason (and treatment for) all of my behavior! Yay!!

Am on Adderall which “got my feet out of the mud” so that I can actually get up and get stuff accomplished!

[406M]

You’ve been given some great advice on this site and, regardless of anything else, it helps to know you’re not alone and there are people who totally comprehend what you’re going through. By acknowledging your struggle and reaching out, you’ve actually accomplished a great deal. Many who have neuroatypical brain function don’t ever get that far, so you’re already a step ahead on your path. Give yourself some credit. It’s important to celebrate every small step and then bring the next foot forward. It’s also important not to compare your accomplishment with anyone else’s. Just because neurotypical people don’t even have to think about that step, doesn’t mean it isn’t a milestone for you. You can spend your life being bitter and overwhelmed about the discrepancy, or you can continue to put one foot ahead of the other on the way to your own success. When you feel so overwhelmed, it’s sometimes helpful to identify small things you can do to unravel the Gorgon’s knot in your life. Pick one thing, even if it’s just doing the dishes, and celebrate that you accomplished it. Then pick another thing. I’ve found that when I can get my personal space clean and under control, I have a base to stand on for larger goals. If I can just focus on one little goal at a time, goals that are easily obtainable, rather than trying to tackle the whole thing, I don’t get brain freeze. Take care, and know we’ve got your back.

[Fuath314]

I live by my daily routines, without them I wouldn't be able to self-regulate. Get a routine and follow it. It might sound a little obsessive, but once you're set in a routine it's easier to deviate every now and then. Don't beat yourself up if you fail to follow your routine, and if you can't routinely do something, drop it from the list if it's not an important task. It's better to live worry free than to worry about something you'll never do.

For important things, do them NOW. Not later, NOW. We have ADHD. We don't have a later. Later is never. Later is an undefined space in an infinite void that will never come. All important things must be done NOW. You don't have to rush to do them, you don't have to hurry them. For example if you have a paper to do by Friday, start it now. Early is never early enough. Work until you can't concentrate and put it aside. Pick it up tomorrow and finish it. Don't stress about making it perfect, make it your best work but don't obsess.

Maybe get a phone with a calendar system. Schedule all birthdays for friends and family into it. Have your system remind you the week before and the day of, so you can buy a present and also give a call. Schedule important meetings and gatherings, doctors appts, etc in the phone with frequent reminders and check it first thing every day.

And the most important thing? Give yourself a break. Talk to your family about your feelings and your disability and how it affects your life and ask them to be understanding, because this is how your brain works. You are you and you are trying and they need to meet you halfway. ADHD runs in the family, so chances are there are other people in your family also struggling with it.

[IamMajyk]

You need a handholding friend to be with you, while you do these things... Even if it's on the Phone while you both do something productive and accomplish it.

Play a game to see how fast you can get done?

Limit the length of the call, to challenge yourself to not get distracted and focus on doing that one thing for the whole time ..

We are never unable to learn new behavio r... Neuroplasticity is real. And it takes consistent effort to develop new Habits..

I am 52 and just allowed myself to ask for help... Doing the simplest things.

Intelligence does not equal performance. Yet the culture makes us believe this is true, so we think it shouldn't be Hard to do... Since we are so smart .. why can't I find my phone? Pay my bills on time or Write papers for Grad School... I have quit 4 Master's programs, because I couldn't get myself to write up the assignment, even though I had done the research, knew what I wanted to present (could have done a Video Perfectly) but could not Structure the content in the Proper Cited format...my Brain wouldn't do it. It took having this Happen again in the 4th Program, before I realized It was ADHD, and the program delivery/subject/or anything else that I had attributed to my failure previously.

And I am going to call my dad and have him teach me all the things I would have learned from him if I had lived with him when I was 12. Cause I need directions and daily accountability and connection and recognition...plus I want to get to know my dad and for him to know me.