Parenting 2 boys / reunification/ progress to success

[Purplepeopleeater1]

Hello, My name is Katie! I recently regained the custody of my children. Gavin 9 and Kaiden 6 almost 7. While they were with family over the past 2 years they were both diagnosed with ADHD. I am a very involved parent and am constantly worrying if the way I am handlings behavior is the correct way because I know that it differs from case to case. I just need a group of mothers to reach out to and maybe throw me some ideas that have worked for them in the past. Because I just got them back they are seeing how far they can push or how much they can get away with until I finally have had enough. Advice please from anyone who has any ideas that will improve our reunification and guidance on the right path to parenting a child or 2 with ADHD. Thank you in advance and hope to here some feedback.

[Tim_Othy]

I’m not a Mother, but I am a Father and Grandfather. My Dad, myself and my son have ADHD. My Dad is a Child psychologist and worked at schools to determine behavioral and academic obstacles that children encountered.All that background to assure you that I have some real world experience.

This is what you may not want to hear, but medication was extremely helpful to me when I was a child and now as an adult.

I found that a stimulant worked great in calming me down and presenting an opportunity to focus in school. It is a big decision that often is not supported from others, but if you find a good Doctor that understands ADHD he may guide you in the right direction. Wishing you the best, Tim

[Purplepeopleeater1 in reply to Tim_Othy]

Thank you so much for responding, They already take “Focalin” for their ADHD! I have asked my doctor to send me a packet so I can get tested. I just want to discipline and engage in their worlds the most appropriate way. I was an addict so I just after two years got them back from family and They have been here a little over a month. I want to make some decisions that help them grow and lead them in the right direction. As a parent so suggestions on books or groups is appreciated 😊

[Tim_Othy in reply to Purplepeopleeater1]

I suspect your journey with them will take time to settle in. If they have been disciplined and raised by your family, I can understand that they will test you. I suspect that you will do great and they will too. Show them love but be firm and boundaries and it will all work out well.Btw you all look healthy and happy in the picture. It will be great

[Purplepeopleeater1 in reply to Tim_Othy]

Sir I have no idea who you are or where you live. But I’m sending you a hug! Thank you, I needed to hear that. I needed someone to tell me that I can do it! Encourage me, and tell me that this is a process and not a success over night!thank you again!

[Tim_Othy in reply to Purplepeopleeater1]

It is truly a pleasure to provide some level of relief comfort and it will get better in time

[Khyson2019]

Congratulations on being reunited with your children.

Rebuilding the bond and trust on top of ADHD can take time, I hope you are able to find a good therapist or friend to offer non-judgmental support.

All of us as parents are only doing the best way can, especially because no two children are the same.

Search for books, talk to your doctor for support groups, and continue to have faith.

I didn't realize I had ADHD until my son was diagnosed so I know the teacher phone calls, unsolicited advice from well meaning family members and the anxiety our own thoughts can play on our mind.

I remember feeling so alone and fearful not knowing what was going on with my son.

You are not alone.

Celebrate your children's strengths and continue to find opportunities to reward good behavior.

Affirm your children about how special they are until they begin to believe.

Are they athletes, do they like science, are they artistic, look for their strengths and speak to their character.

When you catch them doing the behavior you desire, celebrate it like it's their birthday.

When they make a mistake, I say we will try again, or let's fix it and move on to something fun.

When my oldest way young he had a bad habit of lying, I couldn't understand why. Finally I found out it way my reaction to it. Now I reward and praise whenever he tells the truth. Yes it took him two years to trust I wasn't going to overreact but eventually we learned together.

Most of us with ADHD are already feeling inadequate. We can run through walls with praise and fun!

Please contact me directly, I am enjoying the journey of trial-and-error. 😀

[Purplepeopleeater1 in reply to Khyson2019]

Thank You so much!