Struggling for 51 years

[sillybuns]

Reading these posts make me feel not so alone. I have known something was wrong with my brain for my entire life and with many others, I just thought that I was stupid. I tried Adderall years ago and it didn't help, so I didn't think I had ADHD, but I knew something was wrong. I talked to my doctor today and we are going to try therapy and perhaps some medication. I hope this helps because I am just so tired of feeling this way. I don't want to lose my job.

[Hidden]

Good luck silly buns. I am still struggling and still trying and I have tried several medications and therapies and am still trying. One of my favorite quotes is from Jocko Willink: "It isn't one thing. And it isn't ten things and It isn't a hundred things. It isn't a quick path and there are no shortcuts. Getting better isn't a hack or a trick, or a one change that you need to make. Getting better is a campaign.Its a campaign. Its a daily a weekly. Its an hourly fight. An incessant fight that doesn't stop against weakness and against temptation and against laziness. Its a campaign of discipline. Is a campaign of hard work and dedication.Its waking up early and going to bed late and grinding out every second in between. Every single day."

[Loribird52 in reply to Hidden]

This is why we're exhausted!

[Hidden in reply to Loribird52]

Yeah, I think maybe I included a bit too much of the quote above. My main point and the one that resonates with me is that there are no magic solutions and that everything is connected. Since being diagnosed with ADHD about six months ago I was hoping things would improve and I have tried many approaches and am still trying but things still haven't improved. In short, keep trying but don't set hopes too high for any one approach Jocko is a retired navy seal and his motto is discipline equals freedom and he looks like the warrior that he still is. But, he actually gets out on the ocean surfing almost every day and also plays with his jiujitsu club every day as well.

[Loribird52 in reply to Hidden]

I believe it's because my gears are always grinding that I find myself already engaged in "An incessant fight that doesn't stop against weakness and against temptation and against laziness." but I understand why you find that quote helpful. My husband takes jiu jitsu and it has helped him reach another level of fitness and challenged him on so many levels. He has been very stressed during this crazy time in our world and jiu jitsu has been the one thing that has helped him cope....that and some good red wine.

I really like the part of the quote that said "it isn't a quick path and there are no shortcuts. Getting better isn't a hack or a trick, or a one change that you need to make." That is very helpful and helps take a lot of pressure off because I am always thinking if I would only find that one thing that will make everything better and that I'm not trying hard enough to find it. Thank you so much for your response!

[Hidden in reply to Loribird52]

Yeah, another one of my favorite lines - probably because it explains many of my own problems - is by another character by the name of Pavel Tsatouline: "most people exist between the on and the off switch. They’re unable to really turn on to put out high power. They are unable to really switch off and enjoy some rest or just have some endurance." I have trouble focusing and then I can't relax because I didn't focus when I needed to do so and because I didn't relax I have trouble focusing and on and on exacerbated by me continuing to think about my failures. I need to lean to turn it off even if I was never able to turn it on - Pavel - and one of my therapists are big fans of progressive muscle relaxation and I find it helpful when I do it as well. I need to do it more often.

[Loribird52 in reply to Hidden]

Man, can I relate! I have been purposeful about my relaxation today because I have been in a perpetual state of mental limbo....not really doing and not really relaxing and thinking if I juuuuust try a little bit harder. Yeeeesh! I had to literally write down what my thoughts were and see where my head was at so I could release the thoughts and the tension in my body as well. I also was able to meditate for the first time in years and it felt great!

[Hidden in reply to Loribird52]

I have trouble reading books , but I would like to recommend Psych by Judd Biassotro. (Pavel has recommended this book as well.) Judd was a world class weight lifter in part because of his incredible ability to relax and also to focus. Reading his book helped get me interest in hypnosis which I have also found helpful. I didn't realize some top medical schools, Harvard, Stanford, etc. Have doctor's that believe in and do research on hypnosis.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Below is a short excerpt and a page that I like. Although this page is about focus on performance he also includes a lot of detail about focusing on relaxation which is just as important.

Short excerpt from Psych.

[FindingTheAnswers]

Hi. I understand how exhausting it can be. Congrats on finding a Big piece of the puzzle. For ADHD Rx, it seems like everyone is unique. Adderall works well for me, but Ritalin does nothing for me. There is no test or formula that a Dr can use to figure which Rx and what dosage will give you the best benefit. It's a lot of trial and error. It can be very frustrating, but when you find the right Rx, you'll know it. Here are a couple of websites that you may find provide you some of the answers.CHADD.org

ADDitudemag.com

Check out the book 'Delievered from Distraction' by Dr Ed Hallowell (There's also 'Driven to Distraction, but the 1st one worked better for me).

Hope you find some relief soon.