Recently Diagnosed with ADHD.

[MrBlack42]

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, and Social Anxiety. I came to find out that I was diagnosed with ADHD in the first grade but was never treated, so it went unchecked.

My life had a catastrophic implosion, starting with loosing my job in 2016. Struggled to make it through school where my wife of 10 years left me two terms from graduation. Since my wife left me, I don't recognize the world, nor do I have much hope that things will get better. Been taking steps to improve my living situation including getting a new job recently, but its been an uphill battle where I was feeling exhausted all the time.

I have been put on Adderall and its helped quite a bit. However, since my life imploded, the COVID lockdowns, and struggling to find work in a pandemic, I am finding it even harder to connect to people than it use to be, damn near impossible at times. I don't know where to go from here.

[RenewedAt42]

You have been through quite a lot in the past few years! The best advice I have is to keep trying to find opportunities to connect- even if it is just a quick lunch with a friend. The exhaustion seems to creep in worse when the mind is on overtime, and as painful as it is to get out and socialize, it often helps in the long run.

This is a great group to check in with. I found that reading about the commonalities we all have has helped relieve a lot of my overthinking about if I am acting how I should, or doing things the way I perceive others would approve of. Our exhaustion often comes from judging ourselves and running the "should do" over and over in our heads. If you catch yourself doing that, try to take a break and just let yourself be.... It will lift a lot of the weight off your shoulders

Sounds like you very much deserve a peaceful moment from the tornado of ADHD brain

[MrBlack42 in reply to RenewedAt42]

Definitely having troubles with the mental exhaustion of over thinking things. Going to Therapy and trying to keep moving forward. I spend too much time isolated. I've gotten to the point where I have botched so many social interactions that have to overcome anxiety when leaving the house. Thank you for your advice and support.

[Tim_Othy]

You are here. People are relating to you. What a great time to invest in yourself. Rebuild and really put effort into designing the life you want. You have a clean sheet of paper, my Brother and you get to design it. I went to the gym for 2 hours 10 years ago to come home and see half the stuff was gone. I thought someone broke in, but apparently my wife broke out.That was ten years ago and life couldn’t be better. You say it has been an uphill battle, it will get easier.

Mr Black think about what you are grateful for, it will fire you up. Let’s make the second half of life - epic

[MrBlack42 in reply to Tim_Othy]

I am glad to hear that you have recovered and moved on. Since I have been on the medication I feel like I am getting better but I often wonder if I could ever heal. Even the idea of letting someone in to close it terrifying. The idea on starting over, just to watch it all come crashing down seems pointless. How it all ended left its mark. In therapy hoping that it will be easier to carry some day.

[Tim_Othy in reply to MrBlack42]

Oh I’m not suggesting that it is easy and trust is simple to give. Give yourself time to heal and invest in yourself. There will likely be a time in the future where you will feel relationally strong enough to take the risk. Until then, enjoy your company and your friends, try out new experiences, take up a hobby that you always wanted to try or go back to one you used to enjoy.

But what are your options in life right now? Is life worth living? Could you dream of a future that feels good? Time will reveal more options if you can’t wrap your mind around this yet. I understand feeling defeated. I know about life that goes against my expectations.

I also have thought about the fact that I am the only person that can instill meaning in my life. Religion, philosophy, family, friends, experiences all have a part to play perhaps, but it’s your choice to select and design your life.

If you don’t feel it, I get it. If you strive to give your life meaning and enjoyment, it will come. Life will reveal opportunities that will excite and interest you. Once your life feels enjoyable and meaningful you may find a partner that is also equipped to share the life you are creating.

Let me end by saying you are a rockstar. Your wife left, you finished school and got a job. A lesser person would have folded like a lawn chair. You persevered, you proved that you are strong. Go do something’s that you never gave yourself permission to do. Eat right, sleep enough, workout, do your best and have some fun. With time your life will feel better as long as you don’t give up. You are a fighter, never give up.

[BTV65]

Connections. Boy is that tough even in the best of times. The older I got, the harder it became. Connections take work. Even with old friends. I forget to write. They forget to call. Next thing you know it's been years since we talked. So hard to keep up connections. Even harder to make new ones.

Where to go? I think it depends on what you are looking for. You need to sit back and spend some time thinking about you and your life. Where do you want to be in a year? 2 years? 5 years? What has to change in your life to make it happen? What changes do you need to make to get there? How much effort will that take and do you honestly think you can make those changes and sustain them?

Some goals might not be realistic. "I want to be a millionaire next year". Other goals might not make sense. However, put it all out there on the table. What do you think your life needs to look like to be happy? Maybe write each major item on a notecard. Then on the back write down what you need to do to accomplish it. Shift to closer goals as you work. 6 months? 3 months? 1 month?

If you come back here and give us a goal (or a series over time), we might be able to help you brainstorm how to get from here to there. Provide suggestions or steps. Use us as a resource. Sometimes outside opinions can offer unique perspectives.

[MrBlack42 in reply to BTV65]

I have recognized the freedom and very much like the idea of going to a gym. I use too before I met my ex-wife and think it would be good for me. Especially with my new graveyard shift. Goals have always been a challenge for me. So many started projects so few actually completed. I have started playing guitar and running again and in therapy. I will reach out to a friend and talk about having lunch. Thank you for your time and support.