Finding Something with Purpose

[cekie]

Hi, I'm 18 and I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD two years ago. I was going to start university this year but had to defer for a year. I had found ways to spend my time during my gap year such as helping others and self-improving. Although I start everything with excitement, I get bored very easily. Thus, I dropped the activities I was involved in. I am not doing anything that has a purpose and I am bored all the time. I don't have motivation these days but I have always needed a way to fill my time because keeping busy makes me feel better about myself. I was wondering if anyone had some advice on what I can do to feel more productive. I am open to trying new things. Thanks in advance.

[Hidden]

I can relate. I’m 18 too and I’ve struggled with boredom, indecision, you name it. I’m in college, therefore I’ve been real busy. I don’t know if I have an answer in regards to getting rid of the boredom, but I write to do lists, and whenever I do something that feels like a chore, I will have my phone nearby, or a book or a journal, so I can write, read, or listen to music and do something that has no real priority. And also, I’m in a support group for ADHD which helps too. I wish you luck.

[jilllewis84]

Hey cekie -- Do not worry: (1) This is very normal for your age and (2) manageable if and when you need to hold on to something for the long run.

First of all, you have so much time. Going from one interest to the next in your teens and twenties is part of finding your passions and exploring how big the world is. You might have a very unconventional path that will be hard to explain to schools or jobs (or maybe your parents) but that's ok. It's worth all the effort. I'd encourage you to find other ways to view your path and needs than through "productivity." "Productivity" is a capitalist trap that leads to a lot of self exploitation and depression. You do not need to be productive. You are whole and worthy of love and happiness without producing a thing. If you're not feeling fulfilled or engaged, that's a much more nuanced and important thing to explore.

Truly, you are at an age where curiosity and ADHD are gifts. Cast a wide net. Do unusual things. Be fully invested in something for 6 months and then move on. Keep in mind that you sometimes have to go bigger -- often things don't work for an ADHDer because they're too small. For example, I tried living in other cities at your age and got very frustrated by the different landscape and rhythm. But then when I tried moving abroad, I suddenly came online, ready to engage with a whole other language and culture.

Since you know you have ADHD, you can keep your eyes open for limitations that might show up later when you do want to stay committed to something longer term. Notice when do you start to lose interest or get antsy. Coaching or accountability networks can be really helpful for that. Being an artist or freelancer or entrepreneur also keeps your plate full tons of different tasks, which can often be the perfect variety of jobs to keep your interest. Just don't try to lock yourself into anything too early. If it's working and you're happy, stay; if not, move on. Your interest and engagement is a priority. We often say that ADHDers don't have the luxury of doing a boring job. If you need to earn income, try to be creative about how to get your needs met so your interests stay engaged.

Knowing you have ADHD means that you need to make your own map. If something doesn't work, it's not a failure, it's just information. You try to take what you can and move on. It may take a while to fully understand what happened. I didn't get diagnosed until in my 30's -- there were so many mysteries in my life, why things that "should" have worked out didn't, that finally made sense. Putting the puzzle together, I'm incredibly happy with my career and life now -- and proud of the journey that brought me here.

Best of luck!