Hi, I'm new. Here's my question for you all. 💖

[Jslyn54]

Hi, I'm new here.

I am deeply deeply struggling and am trying to reach out to new horizons for help. My therapist is so backed up I can't see her until june, and I need a sign right now to keep trying in my life.

For a little background, I am 25 and only recently have been diagnosed with severe chronic depression and anxiety. I truly have been fighting my mind most of my life. I have worked at ups for 7 years now and fell in love with delivering. I am a very valuable employee but have not been treated as such for the past few years. I am a people pleaser to a fault and my job falls into this. They know I wont say no to avoid conflict. So after a year of being used here and there with the promise and indications of me getting the job I want, deserve, love and do exceptionally well, I am still here fighting for it. It's like they are holding it like a fishing pole and I'm the poor guppy who gets a piece then they pull it away for me to come back and give them more of what they want/need.

So, what would you do? Leave the company and job you love with all your heart of 7 years, good benefits, good relationships, more importantly the job you want and are phenomenal at, and all of this is years of effort in the making? Or would you stay and keep trying? Despite being miserable and incapable of being the steady employee you were (are) because the abuse of the company is breaking your mental health?

I'm all ears, I'm so tired of feeling sick from sadness and hurt.

[OTBrain]

Good morning to you! First of all, it's incredibly brave to put this out there so give yourself credit for that! I've been working with ADHDers for a long time, and am an adult ADHDer myself (in my later 30's). I mention that because I see (and experience) lots of insecurity and decreased self-confidence in people with ADHD because we tend to not fit in boxes. That makes other people uncomfortable and throughout our lives, we are labeled as different or notice that we just don't seem "normal." Depression and anxiety add to the mix because you're simultaneously trying to stay afloat and grounded. With all of that said, you ARE a valuable employee. You recognize that in your deepest being; in fact, you stated it in your problem paragraph. What that means is that you are worthy. Let me say that again, You Are Worthy. You deserve the promotion/title/raise/whatever it is, that you've been trying for... especially if you were promised it. Hold your superiors accountable. Be direct. Think through what and how you want to address it, but hold them accountable. If that means looking for another position where you can deliver as a backup, then do that. However you decide to hold them accountable, you have to be willing to follow through. No one can tell you what you need to do, but I can tell you that you deserve respect. You deserve dignity. You deserve to be treated well.

[Jslyn54 in reply to OTBrain]

I have so many things I'd love to say back, but the only thing I can say is thank you so much for the beautiful words and encouragement. They go so far and it's not forgotten on me. Thank you. 💖