Does my partner have ADHD?

[Jen3809]

I think my boyfriend has ADHD (especially the hyperactivity part). He is so sweet in general and I care a lot about him, but he will be rude in conversations with other people. He will interrupt them and speak out of turn and say whatever comes to mind. When I draw his attention to this afterwards, he says that he does not even realize what he said. This has caused us so much pain and hurt. I know he is not a bad person, so I am just looking for possible causes of this behavior. He is also a very anxious person. Any feedback will be appreciated.

[IgnoranceWasNotBliss]

I think it would be best to do some more ready about adhd. Especially people’s real life stories. You can find them online. It helps out things in perspective in real world situations. With only hyperactivity and not great social skills, it’s too hard to say whether he has adhd. I’m so sorry I can’t be more help. I think it’s good to have on your radar and as you read and learn more, look for other signs! It’s important to know that adhd can look really different for all of us and to a non adhd person can seem like they sometimes have 2 different personalities. This is because of hyperfocus. If you think your boyfriend is “hyperactive” then you’ll probably notice hyperfocus. It could be a good indicator in your situation. However, I should say, not everyone with adhd can hyperfocus. But I think it’s a pretty large amount of us.

Maybe start by researching that?? Then go from there. But you want to see more indicators for sure.

I hope this helps.

Other possibilities may be social anxiety disorder, substance abuse, or just personality! If it’s adhd, it will infiltrate all aspects of his life.

[Jen3809 in reply to IgnoranceWasNotBliss]

Thank you so much for your reply. I will make sure to educate myself on the topic. He has also agreed to see a counselor, so hopefully that will help. Have a great evening!

[IgnoranceWasNotBliss in reply to Jen3809]

Sounds like a good guy to agree to counseling. I’m glad he is at least trying.

Good luck sweetie

[Jen3809 in reply to IgnoranceWasNotBliss]

Yes, he is such a great guy. And the hyperfocusing is a real issue here. Thank you for drawing my attention to it.

[IgnoranceWasNotBliss in reply to Jen3809]

No problem!

It’s also important to still make sure isn’t not something else. Bipolar can have similar symptoms to adhd. Bipolar can have extreme highs that can go to extreme lows. Hyperfocus can look like a manic episode in bipolar. There are specific differences but it can be hard to tell without a proper differential diagnosis from a professional. If he does have bipolar it would be extremely important to find that out.

I hope this helps.

[Jjflash]

Hiya Jen,as said in earlier correspondence,we all have our traits.Ive been told that I interrupt conversations lots of times,I know I'm doing it but because my I forget what I need to say so quickly,I end up butting in in case I forget my point.I find it annoying myself.I really hope you both get peace with it.You sound like a decent couple and I hope you can both get past this.

[Jen3809 in reply to Jjflash]

Thank you so much for your kind words, and for sharing your experience. The more research I do, the more I am convinced that he has ADHD. He lived outside of the US for years, so he was never diagnosed with the condition. Do you think I should alert him to the possibility or should I rather leave it to a professional? I have been so critical of him the past few months and I do not want to continue that trend.

[Jjflash in reply to Jen3809]

Hi again,it's no one's fault Jen.If he gets assessed by a specialist,via his doctor,maybe you will both get a better understanding of the workings of this.Dont forget,it will probably affect people in different ways.maybe you can check this site to see how it can affect others too.In my case,I knew for sure I had a serious problem aged about 13 when I could not concentrate on my schooling,I couldn't digest the school work at all,therefore my grades just became embarrassingly bad.I could not focus,revise,concentrate and the not knowing made things even worse.When I got diagnosed aged 51,it all kind of explained everything,all the mental turmoil throughout my whole life.I hope your fella gets some meds to level things out for him.ps,I went to so many GPS over the years but they just didn't recognize my symptoms.He needs to get referred to a specialist via his GP and then hopefully your situations will ease.Sorry about the long essay,wishing you both all the very best.Keep doing your research and keep popping back into the site for moral support.t.c.jen.

[Jen3809 in reply to Jjflash]

Your input is so valuable to me! I cannot believe you had to live through everything until age 51 without the appropriate support.

We had a discussion about the possibility that he has ADHD and he agreed that it is highly probable. He even told me that his sister and cousin were diagnosed with it. I also noticed that it is genetic. I feel so much better already. His behavior makes more sense now.

I am an educator and my heart breaks to think that students did not have the appropriate support for so many years. One has to wonder how different certain people’s lives would have been if they only knew what to address.

I wish you the best of luck and thank you again for the info and support.

[Jjflash in reply to Jen3809]

Hi Jen,if I've helped any,I'm delighted.You both sound great and he should be proud of you for searching for answers on his behalf.Please both take care.