Struggling with Structuring a budget, both spouses have ADHD

[KarlaJo]

Married for many years, I’ve always been the one managing the bills and doing the budget.

My exe. Functioning, EF, has been stronger than my husbands. When I’ve included him in financial planning, he says that he has never been good at that.

I am 61 years old now and am really struggling with all things financial. I live in the state of Virginia, USA. We own a mortgage and have a car payment, utilities, etc.

The cost of living has gone up so much. I work and my husband works.

Making ends meet is really hard for us right now.

Looking for advice! Free or low cost financial planning might be good. Yet, I know the motto, “ you get what you pay for”; we can’t afford to pay a lot to a person.

My brain just doesn’t function the way it did in my early 30s and 40s. I did take stimulant RX…..

[KarlaJo]

I still am on prescribed stimulants

[PinkPanda23]

I'm following this because I am also the financial person in our marriage, and it's getting more difficult for all the reasons you stated.

Some things I have done are to switch every bill to online. They send reminders until I do what's required, or just pay on autopay. If possible, I have my automatic payments and point of sale payments all on the Discover credit card. This helps me track and also gives me points for any purchase which I can use to buy things or re-apply to my balance. I pay off the entire previous month's balance at once so I never pay interest. Discover has online tools to help me budget, but I'm not good at formalizing a budget. I just keep my eye on it daily and say no when the balances go up. We are both retired and on Social Security, plus savings that are dwindling too fast with current inflation and new health concerns...

I hope you get good advice because I will also follow it!

[KarlaJo in reply to PinkPanda23]

Thank you for your reply

[Netjester]

Make an appt. at Fidelity. They are a fiduciary and there is really no cost involved. They make money when you make money.

I"m assuming you or your husband has ADHD, which is why you are here. Your note tells me that one or both of you have impulsive spending habits. If any of you do, have the dr. prescribe Naltrexone. This saved my life...Spending was a huge issue for me until I started taking this. Within 2 weeks the problem was gone.

[KarlaJo in reply to Netjester]

My husband purchases parts for his hobby. He restores prewar bicycles.

I have ADHD.

[PinkPanda23]

I'm not sure where you are located, but in my state in the USA you don't just "have the doctor prescribe Naltrexone." These medications work differently for everyone, and there are many considerations such as cardiac health, what other medications you take etc. that must be addressed. If it was as simple as prescribing one pill, we wouldn't have a dozen to choose from, and we wouldn't need this forum or any other.

I'm very happy that you found life-changing medication! Just be a bit careful about how you approach the topic of meds here. Newcomers in particular shouldn't be given the impression that a pill will fix everything lickety-split. Be well!

[Netjester in reply to PinkPanda23]

You can have your doctor prescribe Naltrexone in every state. And yes, they will look at the risks. Naltrexone has no cardiac risks at all, btw and the complications with other medications is very few to none. Remember, ADHD is a neurological disorder that needs to be treated with medication. Therapy alone will NOT work and if someone has given. you the impression that is will, they are simply just marketing their business to you. It will help, but only along with the right medications for you.

[PinkPanda23 in reply to Netjester]

And another thing ... you aren't hearing my point: you don't TELL your doctor what to prescribe! You certainly bring up your research and discuss it with your doctor. You may even decide together try the drug. But my point is that doctors don't take direction from patients to prescribe any medications for any reason. You are setting expectations that people can just waltz into their doctor's offices and ask for what they want like there's a menu or something. It's nuanced, but there is an attitude here.

[Netjester in reply to PinkPanda23]

and another thing. You might want to research the effects of Naltrexone and ADHD. There are many points of reference to its effectiveness in treating these exact types of issues.