Realization

[Reddsledd]

Noticed: My ADHD makes me impatient - which makes me angry - which makes me struggle with control issues (trying to control people/environment) which when unsuccessful makes me angry - which makes me attempt to control even harder. Vicious little circle I have created....

[Mark_in_Wales_CVA]

I call it "World Angry", as I can get angry with anything. But I recently read about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) which is relatively common as a part of ADHD - to summarise in one sentence "We can't take no for an answer". To clarify, it is that the closer someone is to us, spouse, parent, child, best friends etc - when they say something that we 'think' is critical (the closer they are - the stronger we react), but in reality may not actually be critical, our brains chemistry is already fired-up for an argument. The good news is that standard ADHD med's are generally good for this, and there are some RSD specific med's.

[Chauneeh4 in reply to Mark_in_Wales_CVA]

I have been diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar 2, your description of RSD fits me as well thank you for explaining I will look into those RSD meds as well

[wtfadhd in reply to Mark_in_Wales_CVA]

world angry! Yes!!! Im using that term!! Im going to put that in my ADHD Vocabulary to cue myself when im experiencing what reddsledd described so perfectly.

Yep that RSD shit is real. Someone on this site was talking about it and then it hit me- i have that RSD stuff and my therapist called it borderline personality disorder. When i read the symptoms of both- they are very similar cept the studies show that clonadine( or something) can help RSD n no med can help borderline. Dumb dumb dumb. My talk therapy was very helpful for RSD/ borderline or whatever it is!

[Mark_in_Wales_CVA in reply to wtfadhd]

WTF, something else I noticed which really suggests RSD to me, is when my daughter (11) forgets to do something that we've told her 1,000 times before, I'm all-ready to launch into a rage even before my mouth opens. And I believe that the 'rejection' element of the scenario, is that my brain is saying "My daughter is rejecting/ignoring what we've told her." and because of the close relationship, the RSD kicks-in and full throttle. Do you notice this?

[wtfadhd in reply to Mark_in_Wales_CVA]

Check it out, i used to rage at my daughter bc she was such a good kid but she just would space everything i asked her to do until i would hover over her like a maniac n bark orders. Then, i got diagnosed with ADHD in my late 30’s and picked up that she had ADD - she was11yrs at the time. Both got medicated n problem was resolved. Bc now we both recognize when my ADHD hyper rage and her ADD chill n spacey type are not mixing well. She is 16 now so its like a running joke we bond over.

[wtfadhd in reply to Mark_in_Wales_CVA]

My RSD only comes into play with other adults and especially guys i am romantic with. Im getting better about it n can kinda recognize it when it comes up now n after therapy, it seems like its slower to come to a boil so i have time to get my shit together n respond vs totally react( explosively) like i did all my life!

[Mark_in_Wales_CVA in reply to wtfadhd]

WTF - well there it is! We'll have to re-invent the name for this sub-type of ADHD to World Angry! What type of therapy did you follow apart from Med's? As I find CBT is a real no-no for me, but if I remember to use relaxation techniques, this does help.

[wtfadhd in reply to Mark_in_Wales_CVA]

Hey Mark- before i got my ADHD dx, doctors assumed i had bipolar. So i went thru years of taking every bipolar antipsychotic med with TERRIBLE results. This started early30’s- finally in late 30’s i got my ADHD dx n started going down the rabbit hole of researching it. I was BEYON F’ ING PISSED, bc i felt that doctors who got paid a ton more than me had failed me miserable!! I was literally homicidal about it. So my NP got worried n asked me to do therapy. My therapist has a PHd in social work- very little background in adhd. She was up front about that which i appreciated. She also diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder which like i said- its key symptom is the rejection stuff that ADHD land calls RSD. My therapist used DBT, CBT combination. Oh and then on top of that f*ckery, she suggested i was gifted which played into my complete pathology. My type of gifted is not a gift! It just further separates me from feeling connected. Anyway- to answer your question- DBT was what worked for my RSD. Just having a phd social worker listen to me, validate me, Hold me accountable is how i learned to cope with the rest of it. Im also a social worker but only bachelor level. So when i found out this awesome, strong women who had a PHd in My field was willing to accept my insurance... i was ready to give it a try.

Where are you at with your treatment n journey?

[Mark_in_Wales_CVA in reply to wtfadhd]

WOW - what a journey! For me I'd spent years with mild depression/anxiety, in addition to the confusion/frustration/lack-of-concentration and the world-anger, but when daughter was born and had a load of difficult things going on - 7 years of fathers dementia, house moves, changing country, changing jobs (working for a bunch of idiots who though they could run a company), mid-life crisis etc things started to boil over. Doc's went for the antidepressant (SSRI) route, which gave me vivd and disturbing dreams - which made things even worse. Anxiety started to deliver mild panic attacks (which was most likely an element of the RSD) - accessed (public) mental health services they went the depression/anxiety route, with only a flippant comment that it might be ADHD, had 2x CBT courses, one wasn't amazing, the other Anger Management was OK. Finally visited a Homeopath (as this had helped a bit 10 years before), but this was a new person in the new country. In the first session, after about 30 minutes of chatting about world-anger, she said "I hope you don't mind me saying this, but it really sounds like you might have ADHD, try watching this video", I went home and watched the programme about a UK based comedian who at a similar age to me was diagnosed with ADHD - and then I knew. Got my (private) diagnosis 6 months later, now waiting for the NHS (UK Public Health Service) diagnosis to access med's. Daughter VERY MUCH looks like she's in the same boat - it's like looking at myself 30 years ago, so we have started along the path for her diagnosis as well. The process for kids to get diagnosed is a little quicker here than adults. My wife is really strong and when I get onto the med's, I'm pretty certain she will be the one keeping me on task - at the moment the RSD kicks in almost every time she reminds me of something - but I've shown her the symptoms of RSD and she can see that hopefully the med's are going to make a difference to it. So let's see.....

[Finn-mama]

WOW, just WOW! I do the exact same thing! I labeled it as being ignored or dismissed. I’ve recently sent a couple of texts to friends with whom I’ve become impatient with because they weren’t fast enough in their decision making process about an issue I had with them. I’ve always overlooked RSD thinking that I take rejection really well. Looks like I need to take a look at that. Thank you for posting this Reddsledd.

[wtfadhd in reply to Finn-mama]

Agreed- thanks for posting reddsledd. This RSD n “world angry” stuff puts a serious wedge between us n the world n ruins relationships, leaving us feeling more angry n isolated which exacerbates all other symptoms.