No handbook, just hands to hold

[playball20]

How does everyone handle dealing with new things or the unfamiliar? Am I the only that feels like the ground is crumbling underneath them? This isn't just a cov-id thing, this has been for as long as I can remember. I feel like I'm unsafe and I want to do everything I can to try and shore up my safety, and the big kicker is that I want to do that for everyone that's close to me.

I feel like we are all connected and we can't prevent everything but we can do our best to analyze the part that we have connected to each other. The best way to sum it up is Brene Brown's 80/20 rule.

[lost2bfound]

When I was 19 and in training in my first 'real' job I was at the point of panic the first day. Then for some reason I thought about how many new things I had been afraid of before and how I usually managed to get through that first stage and get more comfortable and even then many times those fearful things became enjoyable and I looked forward to doing them again. Immediatly I was able to tell myself 'this is hard but I have done it it before and I probably can do it again.' That works every time. I am still uneasy but I know that feeling will lessen as I gradually become more comfortable with the new experience. I think your felt need to "shore up" other's safety is called empathy. That's a good thing. As you begin to feel more safe you will know they are safe also.

What is Brene Brown's 80/20 rule?

[playball20 in reply to lost2bfound]

Lost2bfound, thanks for taking the time to respond and that's very true about going into something new the familiarity will come and things will get easier. I have to work on my anxiety about how it's developed and start by knowing what that feels like to me. The safety, empathy and my self-care battles is something I'm working on daily and not sure what that will feel like as well when/if I come to terms with "it".

As far as Brene Brown and her 80/20 rule, she's a researcher who as she puts it "deals in shame". And I found an article that best describes her and the rule very succinctly.

womenshealth.com.au/brene-b....

[lost2bfound in reply to playball20]

Maybe you can start by remembering past successes when confronted with an anxious situation. Maybe that could give you more confidence to engage the new situation. I will be cheering you on.

Thank you for the link.