Emotional regulation problems, or just me.

[777sigh]

Hi, I have ADHD. Lately I have been getting really angry at everyone for the most stupid things. But I cant help it. Even something as simple as telling me to stop tapping my foot, feels like a personal insult. Everyone that I tell simply says "Oh its just puberty, you'll grow out of it." But I don't see anyone else my age taking polite reminders as insults towards themselves and their families. Nether the less, I hate always hating everyone and wish that I could just feel emotions normally. I don't know what to do.

[Elena3003]

I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 4 and i never had the propper treatment and, that actually happened to me a LOT i'm 20 now and it still happen so don't worry but i do recomend you to see someone that could teach you how to manage your emotion in healthier ways bc if you don't you gonna end up like me crying bc of nothing jajaja

[Coonj in reply to Elena3003]

62 and still crying for no reason. remember daddy saying dry them eyes or ill give you a reason . Still feel that same hopeless can't stop feeling.

[happy_kitty]

It’s not just you. It’s actually a fairly common problem for ADHDers.

What I try to do when I feel angry is ask myself why, decide if it’s worth being upset about/is there anything I can do about it, and act accordingly.

Example:

Q. Why am I upset?

A. She told me to be quiet.

Q. Is it worth being upset about? Can I do anything?

A. It’s not really a big deal, and if I confront her about it it’s just gonna make the problem worse.

Act: I will be quiet now.

This process helps keep a lid on reckless acts and helps me calm down when I decide there’s really no good reason to be upset.

[777sigh in reply to happy_kitty]

Thanks, I'll be sure to give it a try next time.

[Rickytshirt]

Emotional regulation was more of a problem when I was younger. My main problem these days is that I take criticism too much to heart rather than deal with it in a strictly rational sense. I think it's something that, although may be more difficult for ADHDers to manage, can be learned over time.

[Cyrano_de_Bergerac]

I've been undiagnosed for most of my life.. I made up explinations and excuses for it, i was born hyper sensitive. My mom is that way too, though she hasn't gone in for testing. She has cried from phone commercials.

But the best thing I've found is mindfulness work, happy_kitty has it right. An examination of your emotions is key.

Mind you, it isn't a guarantee to work all the time, this past two weeks I've been jumping and angry at almost everything.

It doesn't stop the emotions, but mindfulness helps you to control your reactions to them, which in turn makes them less traumatic and makes them easier to manage.

I've finally settled and been able to meditate again. If you haven't tried it give it a chance. There are tons of resources out there, and if you want advice we're here learning with you.

It's that ability to stop and ask "what is really going on here?" Or "is the reason I'm crying really what they said or is my brain pushing it to extremes?"

It's a blessing when everyone around me is happy because it amplifies, but yeah. It sucks when I'm just that little bit anxious.

It can be made better with work and practice.

Finding out what sets you off, and making those people around you that you care about and trust aware can be a help as well. My wife is helping, and even though it has been rough and it's my job to change my behavior and habits to make life easier between us. I can explain why I'm angry, and she can ask questions and become aware when I am mindfully approaching my emotions.

I've had to cut most of social media from my life... It was not good for my equilibrium.

Work on your awareness of your emotions. Turn it into a weird game of detective, to find out what's really going on.

It can help.

[Viciouscircle]

Anger helps are body produce the chemicals us with adhd need to feel normal and I love to feel the rage and anger and created it because I was bored or needed a dopamine boost but now I realize it and see how it hurts loved ones and try to walk away and exercise or just a walk to calm down. There’s certain times of the day everything annoys me and it’s extremely hard to not go into the red zone. Allow yourself a few seconds to decide if it’s worth exploding over. Good luck it’s tough but can be done.

[Better_Life]

Hi 777sigh, I’m sorry to hear you are going through this-I really am. Unfortunately I don’t have advice for you in this area as I find myself still having the same issue. All I can offer are some very good clips from Russell Barkley and other people.

Emotional regulation-youtu.be/q-QC4voqmRg(Not working as expected?)

This one should be helpful for your parents youtu.be/SCAGc-rkIfo(Not working as expected?)

About Executive Function

ldonline.org/article/29122/

Here is a link explaining the the emotional side (not Russell) additudemag.com/slideshows/...

This one is a ted talk from Jessica McCabe. She runs a full time youtube channel called ‘How To ADHD’ with her Husband who also has adhd youtu.be/JiwZQNYlGQI(Not working as expected?)

Incase you don’t know about these sites: ‘Totally ADD’

totallyadd.com/

CHADD chadd.org/

Attitude: additudemag.com/

Understood understood.org/en

Take care

[Hidden in reply to Better_Life]

Adding add.org, great webinars and support groups for adult ADHD

[iopsydoc]

Make a way away from negative people. The best is to find like-minded people with support groups. Positive affirmations are amazing, and if you believe in the law of attraction, then it really does make a huge difference in life. The onset of puberty until the mid-'20s can be a roller coaster ride of emotions. It is normal, and I think most of us go through it. It is just a normal bio-psychological response. Whenever you feel sad like that, chant out your favorite mantra. Little things do matter!

[Mille_5]

Oh I have emotional regulation issues. I also struggle with reading and understanding emotions. I am 22 and actually finally talked to my doctor about it and we are going to work on strategies to build some skills so that I don't get so emotional in situations where it isn't necessarily appropriate (aka classroom/work).

[Hidden]

Emotional Dysregulation is common among us, and so is Rejection Sensitivity Disorder, though neither of them are in the DSM for ADHD yet. Look up RSD

[Hidden]

One more thing... be careful with judging your insides with other people outsides 🤪because you don’t see what they are feeling necessarily. Not trying to minimize your feelings about... I have to remind myself, because ironically most people would say I’m a level headed dude but I know what goes on under the surface!

[Imogen713]

Same. It's actually worse for me now that I'm on meds because I can focus on how annoying everything is and before I was so distractible that I would forget like 10 minutes later. Eating healthy food and exercising helps, even though on my meds I have 0 appetite and I only want carbs. I force myself to eat fruit and veggies as much as possible. Mainly in like smoothies and such. If I don't eat I want to punch everything and everyone. I used to only cry but now I'm an angry crying combo pack. I try to go to the gym on my lunch break because it really makes me pay attention to the workout and not annoying stuff.