ADHD and memory recall. Do meds help?

[ADDandMe]

I struggle to recall and recount some things. I’m a teacher and often have to recall details of incidents between children - but I find this so difficult and end up giving vague accounts. Also I find it difficult to recall my favourite music, what I did at the weekend etc. is this an ADHD thing - or maybe a trauma thing? Has anyone who experienced this had improvement on meds? I will hopefully be starting meds at some point this month (FINALLY after almost a year of waiting - I’m SO impatient!!!).

[BlessedLady]

Based on you age. It sounds like Perimenopause or Menopause. It would be a good idea to have a FSH blood test. It will tell you what your hormone levels are. Your PCP can order the blood test. Starting medication should be a big help..

[Gettingittogether]

Sorry to hear of your struggles. I'm a teacher with ADHD and I can recall details and I can recall what I did over the weekend.

Question: is this a new problem for you? Go back 5 years, or 10 years, could you recall those details then?

In any case, I would not assume this is all ADHD. Side question: how anxious are you. Anxiety runs high among people with ADHD and anxiety can impair memory. Anyway, I would tell your primary care doctor of these symptoms and tell a neurologist about these symptoms as well possibly a psychiatrist.

Yes, ADHD folks have some working memory problems, like remembering where we put our keys, our wallet, due date for a bill and so on. But a fight between kids on my job, that has emotional power. We don't forget that anymore than anyone else--that's my sense of things. Directions in a boring lecture, sure, details sure ... But a fight has emotional valence. And ADHD folks can remember favorite music because it's our favorite music. What we'd have trouble remembering is someone else's favorite music--especially if we don't care about the person.

Sorry to hear of your struggles. But I do suggest you report this to multiple doctors.

[Michi-can-draw]

I’m also a teacher - around your age -and I also deal with memory issues. As I read your account, I would’ve thought I wrote it. I have always had short term memory issues. I do have a great long-term memory though and so I’ve learned skills to help me move things from short-term to long-term. I’m sure if you struggled with this as long as I have you probably had to do the same in order to graduate college. I graduated with a 4.0 because I had to commit everything to my long-term memory. Otherwise I would never pass any of my classes. How about you?

Not remembering what you did over the weekend, taking a while to remember what day it is or recalling names of people and songs is frustrating, but when learning strategies to manage it’s doable.

[ADDandMe]

I’ve always had this issue. My parents had a volatile marriage with frequent loud arguing and domestic violence, so I wonder if I’ve subconsciously learned to tune out conflict. With effort I can start to piece things together- but they come in a very random order and I cannot match my colleagues and friends in terms of how they recount an experience or incident. I have to go back and correct or add details which then feels like my account has been hashed together.

I do have an excellent memory for other things. I waitressed a lot when I was young so my short term memory for small strings of information, numbers, dates etc is good and I used mnemonics a lot when at uni and also learned to read write and speak Mandarin Chinese alongside my teaching degree (as a mature student age 34-39). I’m in the UK, so I’m not sure what a 4.0 is. I got a First Class Honours degree - which only the top 7% of our cohort achieved. I can hyperfocus on study and express myself clearly in writing but struggle with conveying things verbally a lot of the time.

People often are amazed at small details that I remember but then I stun myself with how terribly I recount information.

With the music side of things, it’s the name of the artist/ song that doesn’t stick. I know what I like when I hear it. If someone asked me what my favourite music is, I would need to look at my playlist or recent Shazam’s.

Thanks for your replies. It’s always interesting to compare notes and tease out the root of any issues.

[Michi-can-draw in reply to ADDandMe]

I see a lot of similarities. I too grew up in a home with constant arguing, put downs and domestic violence. I never related my poor memory to it but I did relate my anxiety. It wasn’t until my cancer battle about 7 years ago that started taking Sertaline (Zoloft) for my anxiety which was at its peak at the time. All my “breast cancer sisters” told me I should try it.

Thank the Lord!!! It changed my life. It took about a week to kick in and then… peace. It was like putting on glasses for the first time and thinking, “Wow! Is this what the world really looks like.” It wasn’t an immediate mood altering drug but rather a gradual quieting of my brain that was always talking and thinking. I woke up one day and realized I felt peace. It was quiet and I wasn’t concerned about all the stuff that usually entered my mind.

In fact, thanks to a poor memory, I couldn’t remember what I was even worrying about in the first place Ha! The irony.

My friends also tell me that they are so impressed with the small details I remember dating years back… but don’t ask me what I did yesterday because I can’t remember without putting incredible effort to recall.

I’ve learned to accept it- years ago. I have other wonderful qualities that have flourished because of my experiences and weaknesses. I concentrate on those. But I still do get frustrated at times especially when I can’t find my keys or my purse or my cell phone or when my husband says, “How did you forget ________?

“Seriously. Do I have to say it again? I have a horrible memory ! That’s why. Ahhhh!!!!

Nice chatting with you from America. By the way, a 4.0 is indicative of the absolute highest grade point average you can receive in most schools in the states. So congratulations to you for also achieving high honors despite personal difficulties in college.

[ADDandMe in reply to Michi-can-draw]

Loved reading this today. Sorry it took me so long. Thanks for your insight encouragement and humanity. I’m glad to read Zoloft was so transformative for you. I hope your cancer journey is something you are outshining.

I had a brief stint on antidepressants after I lost my mum but I was terrified of becoming addicted to them and didn’t stay on them for long. My own mum had severe depression and it changed how I perceived these meds at the time - I was afraid if I took them I’d end up going down the same path as my dear late mum.

I’m a bit older and wiser now I hope

Best wishes to you x

[Hidden]

Adhd thing.

[MagnumMarino]

I struggle with memory issues. Mostly, it's short term memory recall. I have difficulty remembering conversation details, agreements, appointments, where I've placed my glasses, names of common objects, people's names, etc. My understanding is this is mostly related to PTSD and trauma and less related to ADHD. I struggle more with it when my anxiety level heightens. It's also been pointed out to me that when there is an emotional attachment to something my memory recall functions nearly flawlessly. I'm working with a counselor and we've just begun dealing with my memory recall issues so I don't have any advice for you on what works to improve memory issues.

[ADDandMe in reply to MagnumMarino]

Many thanks for your reply. I just noticed these in my notifications. Interesting re the trauma side of things. I’ve been working towards getting a counsellor too. Good luck… I hope it’s been going well.

[MaudQ]

I have this issue and it’s the worst. I forget mainly names: people, song titles, books … Not to mention where I put my keys, phone, why I came into the room, appointments etc etc. I’ve been to a number of doctors and, for me, I think it’s age plus ADHD. I did have a full neuropsych this winter to rule out more serious issues. Treating my depression and taking ADHD meds has helped a lot. I have always been this way - long before I knew I had ADHD - so I grew up writing everything down. Now I’m even more intentional and have a bunch of systems. I’ve also noticed that if I’m flustered or distracted when something happens I’ll be more likely to forget it. I’ll often forget what was said in a conversation because I was thinking about something else while the other person was talking. So staying present and mindful helps. I’ve also heard that middle aged women forget things because we have so much on our plates and therefore way more to remember than other people 😅

[Michi-can-draw in reply to MaudQ]

agreed

[ADDandMe]

Thanks everyone. Really interesting and reassuring to hear all your experiences and have your insight on the matter. I look forward to comparing my experience once I’m settled on meds.

[FloFO]

I am undiagnosed, female, teacher, perimenopausal and basically, if I don’t write it down, I’ll forget it, especially of late when I’ve had a very difficult time at home.

I find with music, if I heard it on radio 1, I’ll know when I was driving and search the playlist - when I remember. With incidents in school, I recall as best as I can, but always stress that I am paraphrasing and it is only my recollection of events. I have told pretty much everyone that I work with that I identify as having adhd (apparently, that’s the terminology) and they are getting really good at reminding me to write stuff down, get back on task and I am affectionately told to go for a little walk if I am getting a bit too chatty and distracting everyone else - it’s a bit patronising and I sometimes feel like I’m being treated like a child, but I guess you reap what you sow, and I know it comes from a place of affection!!

Regarding incidents in school, people know to listen to me when I come and find them to tell them my account of a situation and if they think they’ll need an account, they’ll ask me to do it as soon as I can, or take a few notes of what I’m saying. I find I can really tie myself in knots trying to recall something and often forget what has just been said to me, and it is certainly worse since I hit my mid 40s and if I have a busy day.

I too have issues with losing things (keys, phone etc) but I’m getting better at putting things in the right place as a routine when I walk through the door. I recently remembered that listing works well for me, so started doing that again and it is a game-changer (I’ve had an unholy amount of stress over the past 18 months and forgot about my coping strategies) and I’m having a go at journaling and gratitude lists, when I remember. I’ve heard that the drop in oestrogen also causes issues with memory - so it will be great to hear if meds work or if anyone on this forum is on hrt and finds that helpful…

[JustMentallyLazy]

Its a tricky one, because it seems to me we are individual in regards to memory. Especially if you have comorbid ASD...I can have trouble remembering short term things I deem unimportant or uninteresting.

This has become increasingly "worse" after I decided to unmask a bit. So Im not using as much energy trying to pretend or trying to impress. Before I took pride in remembering a lot of things.

I also sense that the test vaccines during Covid messed us up. Some recent studies that has come out show that the mRNA is able to breach the blood brain barrier and actually destroy brain nervecells.

This will ofcourse be brushed off as conspiracy because its unproductive for the companies manufacturing the vaccine.

But I genuinely feel different after those...

Excercising will help a bit. Especially high intensity. Anything that will challenge your neural pathways will.

[CharacterZero]

Hi! I'm a teacher as well (and in my 40s) and having to write incident reports is an unfortunate part of my job. What I have started to do is make sure I have post-it/sticky notes readily available. I'll then just scribble down names/time/a few key works to help me recall the situation. Another teacher I work with, who also has ADHD, uses the "notes" app on her phone to record quick details so she can write them up later.

I can relate to sometimes not recalling other things, like if I hear a song on the radio, I might not necessarily recall what it is later, especially if it's the first time I'm hearing it. I've heard it can take a few times before something sticks in our brain, so maybe that's part of it. Definitely keep a notepad or use your phone to record thoughts/or make lists/etc. I know sooo many women in our age group who forget minor things these days without a list. The poster who mentioned perimenopause is probably spot on, and the frustration is real.

[Stippler]

I also have the memory issues you describe. I constantly embarrass myself - and have to say, "What did I just say?" In my case it is probably caused by my psych meds (I am schizophrenic). I also take Adderall for ADHD and it helps me to focus but I don't know how much or little it improves my memory. This is probably not very helpful but wanted to share in case it does.

[ADDandMe in reply to Stippler]

Thank you… just knowing others understand is a big comfort. So thanks 🙏🏼